Aubade

iii. coffee at midnight.

I told Claira at school about Enrique and she was ecstatic and even taunted me for having a crush on him, which I do not. I admit he's handsome but I don't see myself having a crush on him; he's more like a potential friend to me than a partner.

I only had a boyfriend once and I don't intend to be in a relationship again. I just don't think I'm ready after he cheated on me with the girl I shouldn't worry about; it was painful; it was my breaking point—it's been two years yet those pains were still fresh, like they only occurred yesterday.

Claira and Enrique met once, and she told me his aura was sort of intimidating, distant, and cold, but to me it was warm and calm.

Enrique and I have been talking every night on the rooftop of the hospital for two weeks now and we even stayed till dawn, serenading it with the music that lingers when we are around. It was peaceful in there; we talked about our feelings about everything in life, and in some ways, we sort of got to know each other.

We meet at the rooftop at 10 in the evening, as our classes usually end at 6 in the evening and sometimes 4, but we must finish our schoolwork before we meet at the rooftop. It seems like a refresher, a break from reality, when we talk.

He also told me that the day I saw him was the first night his grandfather was admitted to the hospital as he fainted due to a heat stroke and he visited him every night after school. His grandfather was discharged a week ago; however, Enrique keeps coming back in here to see me.

He was curious why I always visit my brother in this hospital. There are two reasons: one, I rarely see my brother at home; being a doctor keeps him extremely busy; and the second, I didn't disclose it to him.

I sit at the edge of the rooftop, where we always sit, and as I wait for him to come and gaze at the moon, it is calm and unfazed by the stars cascading from the dark skies.

My brother knew about Enrique and when they both met last week, they were the exact same height and had the exact same aura—cold and distant. Whenever I visit in here, my brother keeps teasing me about Enrique and loves to say, 'it feels like yesterday you're only here to see your older brother and now you're here to meet up with your crush.'

"Hey, Lia." His voice jolted me back from my reverie. My brow furrowed as I peered at the two iced coffee and two brown paper bags, to whom I presumed they had bread because of the aroma that greeted your nostrils when you enter a bakery shop where freshly baked breads were arranged. "I apologize for being late for like two minutes; I bought coffee and breads for us and don't worry, I got you an iced caramel macchiato, your favorite. For our bread, its from your favorite breadshop—bread talk, with your favorite pizza bread. 

"Thank you, Enrique." I thanked him as I accepted my coffee and bread. It's not the first time he bought food for us; the first time he did was our first talk on this rooftop, where he bought two muffins and an orange juice.

"Do you think our future will be great?" Enrique asks as he sips his coffee. We always talked about random topics, especially in life in general; it was a way to be closer and to know their perspective on some things in this lifetime.

His question made me sip my coffee before I answered his question and articulated my thoughts, hopefully organizing them before I spit them out. "Honestly, I'm not sure," I responded. "Life is unpredictable, and fate loves to play us out. We thought everything in our plan went the way we wanted yet in the middle of it, the path became crooked, and it will ruin our minds. We overthink if we're making the right decision or not; some were only part of the plan to be stronger and some were a sign that we're talking about the wrong route in life. The future is scary and all the things we're going to face are inevitable; it's already written in our palms from the day we were born, and I'll be lying if I say the future will be great because the truth is, it's scary and subjective; the future can be great or worse; no one knows; we just have to embrace it and hope for the best."

I inhaled after declaring those words and Enrique's expression was in utter shock and I even surprised myself with my own answers. Those words were somehow waiting for me to reveal what my heart and mind really think about whether the future will be great.

"How about you?" I asked him. We take turns asking questions and absorbing each answer; it was also a fun way to be aware of other people's perspectives, and somehow we can learn from it. "Do you think the future will be great?"

This time, it was his turn to sip his coffee. "I hope so," he answered, gazing into my eyes for a few seconds before his eyes went to the moon. "I mean, I agree with what you said; we don't know anything about the future; it could be great or bad, and you were right about the plan we think we have being going well. You end up questioning everything you believe in but a huge part of me is still hoping for the best. I know everyone wants to have a great future, but the only thing I'm afraid of is what if I won't make it? I want to be a director and it is extremely scary. I just hope we have the future we always want."

"I hope so," I utter as I peered down, my heart racing from the thought I might not make it as owning an art museum. "The future is scary."

"It is," he sighs, reaching for my hand and I can feel my face heating. "At least we have each other." He withdraws his hand when the redness starts being visible in his cheeks. "I mean as friends. We have each other as friends."

"Of course." I flashed a smile and I caught a glimpse of his smile. Despite the dim light, I saw him smile for the first time and I didn't know he had a dimple; it somehow perfectly carved his face.

It's midnight now and here we are still enjoying our coffee and bread as we continue to talk. "What's your thought about meeting people just to teach you a life lesson?" I inquire as the chilly air embraces us, intertwining our fate together.

"It depends on what lesson," Enrique replied. "I feel like each person we crossed paths with in this world would be a lesson—it's either going to heal or break you, but despite it, I believe it will become a strong foundation of who we are as we navigate life. We can be more cautious around the world, especially when it comes to trusting people, but really, whatever that lesson will be at the end of the day, I'm still grateful I've met them, even if they're the reason why of my lowest point or greatest point. They've established a part of my life, and I would be thankful for being part of my growth."

I nodded, absorbing his answers, to which I agreed with every word he said. "Would you still be grateful if I became the lesson that would break you?" Enrique looked at me in a mixture of surprise and misery, especially in his iris, as he heard my question.

"I'd still be grateful, Lia," he responded. "I'm just glad we met, and whatever lesson we will learn from each other, you will be a memory I will always look back on and my favorite to relive every moment."

Our eyes met; brown blended into brown, creating a soft, warm aura that the soul could only understand. I still hope he meant it with words when I turned into the lesson he wished he never learned.