Reminisce and Strengthen, My Butterfly

Chapter 3

A week has gone by, Miranda and me got to stay in the same room to which we added our own touch making it feel more homely

All the candidates have settled into a routine...
We wake up early in the morning have our physical training ( of course I excelled but Miranda not so much so I asked the trainer for us to train together. She is a fast learner so I quite enjoy teaching her)

After 3 hrs of gruesome training we are excused to have breakfast. From then all the way up to lunch we are locked in a library and asked to choose a book to study from. I would die but lucky for me I have miranda.

Our role of teacher and student just got reversed

After lunch it's studying again followed by another training session all the way up to dinner after which we are needed to do chores (mopping , cleaning dishes dusting rooms ).(My task is wipe the training ground spotless along with 4 others while the experienced ones practice and Miranda's was nursing the sick)

After this very long & exhausting day we are called to a room, where we are asked to meditate & clear our thoughts. My fav part of the day. Do nothing but breath wish the entire day would be just this.

The last time the selection took place, everything was the same except, the instructors were stricter who monitored them like hawks.

Oh and they also had a schedule on what to study unlike us.

I don't know why its different, but I sure am loving the freedom

Today they gave us an entire day off to do what we wish but we are to gather in the evening for an important announcement .

And so the 2 of us decide to get some exploring done

We toured the main shrine but the more I see the more familiar I feel. As we were exiting the garden with Miranda gushing over the beautiful collection of flowers there, I had the weirdest feeling.

My instinct was telling me to go this way
"What's wrong Mel"?

I try to tell Miranda what I feel
" then let's go. Maybe you have been here before but just don't remember. Let's trust your instincts and see where, well, you will take us" Miranda said with eyes filled with child like curiosity

I couldn't say no to her.

We walk for a while after which I was pretty much sure we were lost

With just one more turn we come face to face with a door which Miranda pushes open without much thought

"Wait" I start to say but what I see in there stops me in my tracks

It was filled with every music instrument that exists. I didn't even know I loved music this much until I laid my eyes on them.

My feet carry me towards the harp right at the centre. I sit and place my hand on it
Miranda comes to stand beside me and just silently encourages me with her eyes.

I take a deep breath and start playing

"That was absolutely beautiful Mel" I smile.

I turn out to find the very handsome man I met at the entrance ceremony looking at me
There was so much adoration and pride in his eyes

But in a second that was gone. Replaced by guilt fear and longing. He just gave one last look turned around and left without saying a word.

I never felt as complicated as in that moment. And as a result I did the stupidest thing I could possible do in. I chased after him
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"Wait! Wait please."
"-"

He said nothing but I think he slowed down a little as I run to catch up to him

"Who are you? Is there any chance that you might know me. "

"I'm sorry. You must be mistaken"
I refuse to believe it.  I doubt I would feel what I feel for a stranger

"Please at least tell me why. Why I feel every emotion I can think of when I look at you. Or why I feel nothing when I don't. Please tell who I am. I don't remember anything from before 2 years. I'm lost, I'm scared I I...."

I never felt as desperate as I was in that moment. Tears would drop at any second now. I can't see much either cause of them

"Shhhhh" he said ever so softly and for once he looked at me. Really looked at me. Hope was gushing into me. But the next thing he said was

"Yes I do know you, but"
He was about to say something but thought better of it and said

"You were an important person to me before you broke me and left, you're someone I don't wish to cross paths with again but I guess fate has different plans"

He looked so sad when he was saying this that it hurt.

Hurt more than it ever could if he yelled at me in anger or if he looked upon me like I was some-kind of villain.

"If you have forgotten about your memories then...That's for the best. I hope you will lead a better life from now on"

He just turned and walked away after that
The cold winter wind meant nothing compared to the cold in my heart.

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Miranda had to drag me to main hall after that. I couldn't make sense of whats happening around me

But whats even worse is that I couldn't even make sense of whats happening within me
For the first time, since I lost my memories I feel betrayed , angry , hurt even, about what just happened. but more than anything else i feel lost. Like i am stuck in a dark forest with no sense of direction

I felt a whack on my head, look up to see that the pope has walked into the room and now addressing us

"These past few days we've been keeping an eye on you all, you might have been thinking that the first few days you will be given to settle in and the tests will start after.

But unfortunately for about half of you that is not the case. This past one week we have guided you and gave you freedom of choice on what and how much you wanted to learn.

Books and instructors which otherwise wouldn't have been available elsewhere where at you disposal.

That was your first test. A measure of the candidate's curiosity. As long as you have shown at least the least possible bit of interest in learning , practicing or/ and doing whats assigned to you, you will have passed your test "

Uproar was heard in the halls. They were many raising their voices against the pope and many murmurs of agreement. All to which the pope said one and one thing only

"It is not the test taker who decides whether the test was fair and just , it is us. life will not wait for one to be ready. Many are given but one chance to prove themselves.

Those who have lost are welcomed to try the year after, of course only if the trusted's seat is not filled by this year's selection.

A word of caution, please do not expect the test to remain as it is the following year. That will be all. please return to your respective room to find your results.

May the light be your will and show you your way"

The pope and his aides left the grand hall despite all the uproar and opposition amongst us candidates.

Soon after everyone were rushing to their rooms to check their results. Everyone except the calm select few and of course the handsome man from before was amongst them.

I can't keep calling him the handsome man.
I really should ask him for his name the next time we converse, if we converse. Even after all that has happened I really hope that we do.
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