The Olive Theory

Chapter 10

AMICA

I hate him.

I hate him, was all I could think.

It was all I could think as I waited on my butt for an hour, patiently staring at the door.

It was all I could think as I walked through the cluttered house, letting myself roam the crowds alone as people whispered hushed words about me as if I didn't already know what they were saying.

It was all I could think as I stepped outside the house, feeling the cold autumn air hitting my face and stinging my skin, realizing I had to walk home in this weather, in this outfit, at 1:45 am.

It was all I could think as I stood on the steps of the house, watching him open the door of his truck.

It was all I could think of as I watched him put a girl in his car.

It was all I could think as he let her kiss him.

It was all I could think of as he drove away.

It was all I could think of as tears ran down my cheeks.

I felt like I could laugh. I was genuinely about to laugh at myself. How stupid was I? Did I think Michael cared enough to give me a ride home? That he had meant that apology? I felt my chest tighten as I walked down the steps of the house, Michael already gone. He's a liar and a cheater. I can't believe he's taking that other girl back to his house, about to do who knows what to her while he's still with Natalia. I swallowed hard and walked away from the house, brushing past a laughing guy with a red cup. My boats clicked against the pavement as I began walking to my house. Honestly, I wasn't so sure where I was even walking. But I didn't stop. I just kept going as the wind hit my skin and rattled my bones, desperately clinging to my arms for comfort, for warmth. Maybe I should've just called Emma to pick me up. It would have been much better than walking home this late on Halloween. But I was too stubborn because I didn't want her to see the angry tears in my red eyes. I sniffled my runny nose. I sucked in a breath. I shut my eyes for a second. Just a second. Just a second. My heart was beating along with the steps I took. I was walking fast. Running, I was practically running. My heart kept beating hard, like a kickdrum pounding in my brain. My ears were ringing, my vision blurry and not from the tears, no, I was dizzy, clinging to consciousness as I stumbled home. Maybe it was the drinks. All the alcohol I consumed to try and forget about everything everywhere and just sway my hips with a stupid grin, singing karaoke with my friends, but life doesn't work like that. My feet caught in the pavement. I paused and looked up. Then I saw it, looming over me. My house, with the white picket fence, the black front door, the gray paint on the walls, the clean windows, the brick chimney. I knew it all too well. I've known it my whole life. It's all I've ever known. I looked down, and stared at my feet, my black boats, and the chalk drawings Matias made on the pavement. Happy Halowean, It said, misspelled in bright orange colors. The tears that had welled in my eyes fell on the pavement, splattering on the words my little brother had written. I whipped them away, with a whimper, the wet tears on my red cheeks. I looked up again. I took a breath. I stepped forward, through the grass, across the path walk, and up the steps. I stopped at the door. Reaching for the knob, my hand paused. My hand shook. I took another breath, grabbed the doorknob, and turned it.