Everything In Between (COMPLETED)

BEFORE|| Cry Me A River

When I was a child, I had a reoccurring dream of being trapped in a small, dark room with the walls closing in with every breath I took until I could no longer breathe. I'd wake up in a cold sweat, my father would console me, and I'd fall back asleep as though the nightmare had never been dreamt.

Living with Dalton for the last two years, I felt as if I were still in that room, only this time, I never woke in a cold sweat or had my Daddy by my side to reassure me it was no more than a dream and that everything would be okay.

As I sat on the floor of the living room watching Danielle build her little tower of blocks, then knock it over and fall into a fit of hysteric giggles, I wished more than anything to be able to experience the childlike joy and wonder that were still within her. She was still so oblivious and naïve to the world and how cruel it could be, and I was going to ensure it remained that way.

"Mama." she said with a clap, than started to repeat it in varying octaves. "Mama. Mama. Mama."

I extended a handout and raked my fingertips through her blonde curls, noting how bitten down and raw my cuticles had become.

"Dada!" Danni shouted suddenly, and though I didn't turn around, I could feel the cold air against my back as the door sat open. I unconsciously straightened just the slightest hearing the door click shut and the deadbolt being set into place. He'd insisted we needed it a couple weeks ago, excusing that Danielle was walking and getting taller and at some point in the near future would be able to open and unlock the door.

What he emitted from his reasoning was that he wanted to show me just how much control he truly had over us. That deadbolt flashed like a neon warning sign before my eyes and I still pretended to be blind to it.

"Is there a reason your on the floor and not the kitchen?"

I swallowed the bitter retort that sat in the back of my throat and once I'd composed myself, whispered, "I cooked this afternoon. Dinner is on the stove and in the fridge. I also put a few beers in so they'd be cold for you."

He was satisfied with that response, but given that he clearly already had a few in him, didn't leave good enough alone.

"Danni doesn't need to be on the floor all the time, you know? Or inside the house. We have a small yard, Harley. It was one of the reasons we got this place. Just because you want to sit on your ass all day and be lazy doesn't mean our daughter should have to. She's walking now, let her be active."

I'd grown so used to the belittling and snide comments I didn't even flinch hearing the words this time. "Got it."

I wanted to go and leave this house with Danni every minute of every day, but my depression had forced me to a point where it was a miracle if I even rolled out of bed before ten anymore. Most days Danni would wake up and crawl into bed beside me, curled up against my stomach with her face buried in the crook of my neck. We'd stay like that for hours, until I was able to manage to recollect myself long enough to feed her and prep dinner for Dalton. We'd spend the remainder of the day in the nursery or living room playing on the floor; her giggling and building, me dissociating from reality for hours as I stared straight ahead at the wall behind her.

"Where were you Friday night?" Dalton asked as he entered the living room, cracking the beer open. I did flinch hearing the God awful sound fill the room. "I don't want any bullshit either. I checked your location and it'd been turned off."

"I was with my parents."

He snickered. "Right. Okay."

"You can call and speak with them, Dalton."