All those wildest imagination rushed in made me insane whenever he called. idk since when I started to get easily turn on when i hear his voice.. he has this power to make me wants him to dominate me.
my first try as his sub, i failed miserably. recording a video call showing him my naked body and try to do it. i hate to recall it because I did it terribly. i disappointed him and even got my first punishment. i wasnt satisfied at all but it didn't affect me much that time.
the next trial was also failed. and... the first time i had to use vibrator, that was sooo intense i barely able to hold myself. the wetness was different compare to using my fingers. i denied the intense feeling until he asked me to use it again..i cant remember when did i do it so well and naturally accepting the intense feeling. it still weird but getting nicer whenever we had a chance to do it. maybe when he showed me his hard dick, and i couldn't get it off my mind i wanted to hold that thing so much. i just need a few sec or mins to start playing with my imagination.
15 days before i lose myself. Not a single day i didn't think about it. my decision, my fantasies. i wanted to expect something but i might be the one who will ruined everything later.
i encountered this deep throating? a bit different from bj from what ive read. seems hard to control the gag reflex but will it satisfy my master? i asked him, but the answer was a bit vague. well idk if bj or dt can gives me pleasure alone but if it can satisfy my master, i am willing to do it. but will skip that if he didn't ask for it.. as a sub, my pleasure is to pleasure him eventhough his objective is 'educational purposes'. yeah right...
reading/watching session lead me to few videos about position, orgasms and squirting. demm pornstars i still can't watch it much. either i fast forward or skip whenever it seems too much to prevent excessive expectations and disappointments. the position videos was okay, those moaning voices, kinda things need to learn properly.. moving my own body, pounding, grinding seems tiring and i might short of breath but i trust my stamina and my breathing control skill i developed before this despite not exercising. mybe need to do leg workout, twisting and plank for my abdomen this 2 weeks.
squirting idk what to feel. excited? not really. hoping i can squirt? i prefer not to put any hope. i will just follow the flow and the feelings. curiosity is there but i trust my master will do whatever he wants to help me achieve it. the girl squirt easily with that kind of face. im not sure what face will i make later, the electrifying feeling either it can lead to more excitement or lead me to jump out from bed, running to the bathroom and hide due to embarrassment.
