Neon Genesis Cochvangelion

Chapter 9: Monkey Man

Bubbles grabs a banana off the counter before making his way to Alexis's room when he hears a song blasting on the other side of the door.

Suddenly the door opens and Eugene and John come out looking like a bunch of dried-up mummies. "OOH, OHH, AHH, AHH?!"

"We're fine bubbles..." they say before falling to their knees. "The fuck you are! That's it you two are coming with me today, I got a ride already on the way." Bubbles says before pulling out his phone and texting Bam. "Oh shit, he's already here! Alright then get your asses up, we're leaving." He says before they finally pull themselves together.

They all head outside and see Bam waiting in a pink car with a Coch La Coch wrap on it and a Skibidi toilet sticker on the back window. "Yo, get in before I leave and start Jelqing." He says before unlocking the doors. Everyone gets inside before closing their doors. "It's good to see you two, it's been a while since we last met."

"Yeah, it certainly has been quite a while." John says before dapping him up.

"Mhm! Ooh, ooh."

"Oh shit you right!" Bam says before turning to face Eugene. "Sup man! I know you're Hal's kid and all but this is our first time talking since you were like 5-6, right?"

"Uhm, I don't really remember all that much from when I was little but I've seen you a few times at Goon HQ."

"Yeah, anyways nice to meet you again!" He says before dapping him up as well.

"Nice to meet you too Mr. Bam."

"Yeah, hey could I see your phone I wanna check something, don't worry though I'm not bout to be on some freaky ass timing."

"A-Alright..." Eugene says before handing him his phone. Bam grabs it before starting to swipe through his apps. "I knew you would have it! You seemed like the type of guy to also like this game." He says before showing him, Goddess of Victory: NIKKE. "You also play on global too, what level are you?"

"I'm like commander level 325 or something but I'm in the 300's."

"Damn impressive, I give you my respect from one gooner to another. What's your opinion on Red Hood in that game?"

"Hot as fuck, she's my strongest unit with triple 10s for all her skills and max overload gear, I just need to reroll a few bonus stats on some gear for her."

(Use code: Gooner, not a real code)
(No this isn't a promotion)

"Damn but you're right she is hot as fuck, I'd let her peg my ass!"

"REAL MAN, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!" Eugene says before they hit the sexiest dap up known to man.

"So where we going gangalanch?" John asks as he takes off a backpack before pulling out a stylized monster bong.

"Well it's funny you pulled that out because we're going to get some strong ass herb from my plug to save yo dried up and mummified asses. Actually, how did you two even end up like this?" Bubbles responds.

"Ms. Alexis made us learn crocheting while forcing us to watch gacha life storytime videos..." Eugene chimes in.

"You wanna go the gas station to get some blunts or are we sticking to John's monster bong?" Bam asks as he turns on the car.

"We got a bong so we gonna hotbox this shit!" Bubbles says.

"Alright but what about Eugene?"

"Ooh, ooh, He smokes and I can tell you that man is a blunt demon, I think he may be ready for the test to acquire the title of "Dragon of the bong."