Gated

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Well... that went better than I expected. Kind of. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. I can't even imagine her being jealous. Her and jealous just don't go together.

She was so pretty today. SEE?! I told her if she wasn't a hating ass bitch she could be just as bad as me.

That's my pootie poohhh. I love her mean ass. Bitch. Ooh.

Anyway. I think our friendship is worth rekindling. I told y'all I was depressed without her. Well- I never told y'all that she marked me. I guess that's important info. So like- with that- no matter how far apart we are our souls will always crave each other. She's mine forever, but her marking my necklace reverses it a bit. Like- I can fight my urges with it on. I felt that shit last night.

I knew I was in heat when something in me was literally purring for her... *wink wink* But no, seriously, taking that necklace off was a big mistake. Like girl, I really wanted to take her ass down in Bradley's class. Yeah. At nine this morning I wanted to bent over in class.

It's just the way she could hit every spot I needed hit?! It may have been worth the sin. No it wasn't, sorry God.

I've kind of been on a little abstinence journey. After Bey I had sex with five other people, but I always felt awful after. Not just spiritually, but I would literally get physically ill. I mean throwing up and all. Maybe that has something to do with me being marked. Like my body rejected anyone who wasn't my mate. Idk.

God and I are really close though. I'm talking war room intercession close. I used to think my mom was crazy for waking up at three in the morning praying, until it was me. Girl! God will wake me up out of my sleep to pray. A lot of the time it's over Bubbles. Like I'll be having a dream that she's in and I'll get woken up. I pray over her so much.

Y'all probably really thought I was a hood rat out here based on my previous behaviors. We all have our sin. Mine just so happens to be immodest behavior in the form of shaking my ass for the world to see. My foul mouth to. I curse hella. Also the drugs, but I've really slowed down. No more pills, just a little dab pen.

I was practically born in church. Literally. My mom was four centimeters dilated and singing at the 1999 COGIC Holy Convocation. I also guess it's worth mentioning that my paternal grandparents are literally Bishop and First Lady Sheard. I'm sure you got that from my last name. My daddy's their oldest, then uncle J. Drew, then my TT Ki. I love my TT Ki♡̆̈

She calls me Dolly. Says it's cause I looked like a little doll as a kid. I was gorgeous. Pageant worthy, but my parents didn't exploit me. Good on them I guess, but I would have eaten the girlies up. Big Chunks in this ho-ly home. Yeah. Praise the Lord. For real. Praise that man.

Anyway! Enough about my religion cause I know some of y- anyway.

What do I do about Bey? Well- I don't really have many options. Literal for lifers. But like idk. Cause I'm not really even mad at her because yes, she's old enough to know how to behave, but at the same time, look who her dad is. He does stuff like threaten to not pay for college and put you out as soon as you turn eighteen.

I guess we can talk about her family since I've known them practically my whole life. I'm sure you can tell which family member of hers I really don't like other than Matthew. We barely even bring her up. That Solange bitch. She used to bully the fuck out of Bey and I. Like bitch you are twelve, we're eight. It literally went on until she left for college. She used to get Bubbles in trouble a lot too. Can't stand her weird self.

Love her with the love of God though.

Sos is my pootie pooh. I say that a lot. lol. Seriously though, as we got older Bey used to try to do her how Solange did us. I wasn't going for that at all. She's a sweetheart, and if you ever need an alibi, Solana Knowles. I love my baby but she can lie her ass off. It's literally unprovoked half of the time and if you ask her why she'll just shrug and say she doesn't know. If she says honestly, she's definitely lying.

Mama T is just that. Mama T. I never went without over there. Whatever her kids had, I had. I didn't mean to call her a white ass bitch that day either. I love her. She's amazing. I was pissed though so blame her child.

Uh- Matthew- he can die. Real shit.

Then my bookie butt. Giselle. I love her y'all.

Our friendship is definitely worth rekindling. But at the same time I don't want to just jump back in and be her friend like she didn't talk bad to me for a year and a half. Then again- I'm literally marked by her, and while she feels things too, she won't understand how I felt until I mark her too.

I guess I could explain that a bit more.

So we're mates now. Our wolves are mates. There is a whole mating process, but we skipped a few steps.

Really there's asking my parents their permission. Which we kind of skipped over. We just started fucking.

Then there's courting, which as you all know is when she has to prove herself to me and my parents. I guess you can say we courted. Hell. We were best friends.

After she proves herself, I decide whether or not I want to continue a courtship with her and if I did that's when I was supposed to be marked, and mark her as well. A mark just makes you extremely sensitive to your mate.

Like how my mom generally can't be compelled, but once my dad marked her, he was able to. Their process was different because my mom is a siren.

Anyway, since I'm marked by Bey she can pretty much read me. Like emotions wise. As I'm marked and she's not, we haven't gotten the full package yet. Once I mark he we'll literally be able to feel each other. We'll be able to know each other's strongest emotions, and kind of deepens our emotions to each other. That's why I'm so fucked up over her, and she can kind of live without me. Like her wolf craves me, but she can lock that out.

After the markings is the mating. You'd probably think that since we've had sex, we've mated. We have not. We haven't even done anything since I was marked. Mating can only happen when both mates are marked by each other. In this society mating should only occur after marriage. The thing with that is, just having casual sex can trigger a marking, that's what happened between Bey and I. Pussy too good. Yeah, she marked me.

Mating is what really seals the bond between us. According to the elders, with true mates it's apparently supposed to more pleasurable than with anyone else. Like even if y'all had sex before mating, mating is supposed to be top tier. I just know if us at fifteen was like that, she need to gone come get this mark and this coochie.

Sorry, it's that dog in me. lol. Literally, cause I'm in he- y'all get it.

Anyway, mating completes us. It mixes our scent as to warn other's away. It also deepens the emotions of both of us. Like we'll be able to feel each other's emotions, hear each other's thoughts, we'll pretty much be one. Of course if she wants to build a wall so I can't hear her thoughts she could, but I could always break down with work.

I don't know, y'all. I'm a fantasizer. I can just see our lives together. It won't be perfect, nothing is. But it's going to be beautiful.

Yeah, we need to go ahead and get our shit together.

~Chunks Cunts