Gated

ᴱᴺᵀᴿʸ ³

⁰⁸/²⁰/²⁰¹⁷

I don't get her. I swear I don't. How do you go from screaming you hate me and everything about me, to carrying me in to my father to make sure I got in safe?

I should've bit her ass when I had the chance. Let her bitch ass intimidate me. I hate her. She's so unfair. SHE IS SO UNFAIR!

She cut me off! She said she hated me! I never did anything to her. I would never hurt her!

I didn't even want to bite her when I did, but I did it because she wanted me to!

Why does she hate me so much?
( ｡ • ᴖ • ｡)

I used to draw stuff like that on her wrist. She said I could tattoo her one, one day. I guess that'll never happen now. ૮꒰ྀི ⸝⸝ ›̥̥̥ ·̭ ‹̥̥ ꒱ྀིა

I'm so sad guys. I try to act like it doesn't bother me, but I'm so so so sad. I miss when we were best friends. We did everything together.

I love Lo and Tavi too, but Bey and I literally took baths together until we were eight. I don't think we could get any closer. Well I didn't.

You guys probably think I'm being dramatic, but put yourself in my shoes. You do everything with the same person for thirteen years and one day she wakes up and decides to ghost you. For nothing. I think.

I have no clue why she stopped talking to me. I was supposed to be her Chunky Butt. Now she hates me.

Why does she hate me?!

Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of senior year and I have a meeting with my counselor and one with my coach.

She was right. Of course she was right. I deeply regret going to that stupid party. Maybe I am a hood rat? I seen videos and from the time I walked in until she dragged me out I was shaking my ass. Does that make me a ghetto hood rat though?

It was fun in the moment, but I knew what would happen if I went to that party. I literally called it. If I get kicked off the team? Oh my gosh! My parents would kill me. Hell, I'd kill my damn self.

No, I couldn't do that if I wanted to.

I miss her y'all... I miss just meeting up and doing random shit. I miss when she would pop up at my house and take me on late night drives in her dad's old truck. Before her license. I miss her hugs. She has the best hugs y'all. It's like hugging a big ole teddy bear. My very own Bey Bear. And she would just hold me. I was never sad with her around.

Y'all- I think this is really depressing me. Oh my gosh! Have I been depressed since she stopped talking to me?! Did she depress me?

This wasn't even supposed to be about her! This was supposed to be about my feelings. Damn therapist. But she is why I'm feeling this way. If it wasn't for her bitch ass I would be fine! I was just fine when I had my best friend.

Then! Everyone knows me as Chunks. Everybody including my parents call me Chunks and nobody even knows where it's from. I'll tell y'all though, since y'all don't snitch.

I've always been a little chubby. Even as a dancer, no matter how much I would work out, I've always had a little fluffy belly. When we were like seven one of my old dance teachers said I was "chunky" and needed to lose weight before competition season. I can't help the little pudge y'all. I couldn't then and I definitely can't since I've hit puberty. I just have a little fupa. I'm a thick girl. Anyway, I cried to Bey that day and she kissed my cheek and squeezed my little chubby belly saying, "It's okay Chunks. You're my perfect little Chunky Butt." We were seven y'all. SEVEN! ☹

Maybe we were codependent. My parents used to say it all the time but I ignored it.

But if that was the case she would miss me too. She would be just as fucked up as me. She doesn't care though. She's made that perfectly clear.

Fuck her.

~̶C̶h̶u̶n̶k̶s̶ ̶C̶u̶n̶t̶s̶

~Onika