Unjust

The Morning Pain

A warm wind flew across the shattered window in my room, a slightly tempered glass bits are scattered around the floor and the sun's ray hits my eyes. A calming atmosphere is present within me, I looked upon the image of the confident sun as I contemplated in my life. My gaze meets the eternal sunshine in this world.

" Ah, I did it again, just how many times I've made that mistake? I'm suffocating in this love. I know I'm being selfish but I swear this will be the last time.'

From where did this became a mistake? My mouth emits nonsense again, just how many times I've said that unweighted words? The words that don't hold any assurance and effort, the love that doesn't hold any meaning.
Is it a dream again? Or is it a dream within a dream? The pain felt so real, her face is so clear it makes me want to forget. Her warm smile, her soft hands, her soul, her fluffy hair, and her deranged face. I am unable to recall anything besides Beautrix, I can't remember the wall of the room, the dark silhouette, the impression of my face but it's just one thing, the only thing I remember was everything about love. It was you, only you, all the time. I close my eyes yet I can see a glimpse of your hands. The darkness I can foresee is immediately illuminated by your luminosity.

" Oh Beautrix, your warm breeze, touching gentle skin."

I danced along the tune of loneliness orchestrated by the non-existing person i point my finger to.
Even if it's just my selfishness, just for my sake. Beautrix, dance with me.
The flawless sway of my hand full of scars envelops her waist as I groove into the deepest part of grief.

" Beautrix, if nothing seems to work. I always make sure to remember you, the scent of you wakes my profound happiness, even if it's just once, I wish to look into you. The birds singing while we rest our wings, until I get tired of waiting, until my voice are fading. Love me once again, let me be the only one."

Just as the pure heavens drops her transparent rain into the corrupted soil of this world, Beautrix disappears from my eyes, my soul is covered in isolation, my arms who should've been holding her hands goes limp without the presence of her. She vanished during the climax of the act, the dance of desolation. The departure from this physical surface towards the ethereal shroud of celestial plane, the process of leaving. I cannot comprehend nor accept the dispersion of her fragments, the traces of her cryptic smell lingers throughout under in my nose. The confusion exaggerates the occurrence, similar to an axe swung vertically unto the head. I helplessly fell into the ground losing my sense of balance. Is this another mistake? Or is it just my memory of her playing inside my head?

" Beautrix."