No second chances| Book Two

How will you write it?

My body felt numb as I laid on the ground. The grass and dirt beneath me was rough and dry but I liked the feeling of the tiny rocks pushing into my skin. It was almost comforting. The birds sang to each other as they passed my gaze through the sky and i envied their ability to fly away. 

To have the freedom to run. 

My head slightly turned as I watched Hopper and the familiar white cat playing with each other by the water. Hopper was smiling and showing the cat each and every leave he had found as if she could listen. 

I began humming to myself, trying to clear my head from the constant dark thoughts that roamed through. 

"You got so much to do and only so many hours in the day.." I hummed, moving my black sock covered feet to the beat of my own voice. 

"But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through.." 

Hopper stopped playing with the white cat and came over to me, cuddling into my side and using my belly as a pillow as he looked into the afternoon sky with me. I smiled and gently touched his head, moving his fur around until I placed my hand back on my chest. 

"When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?"

My lip began quivering and I cursed myself all over again for the mistakes I've made and the things that could have been avoided. Cedric was doomed to die. There was nothing I could do to change that and yet I had this sort of child-like belief that I could play god. 

How could I play such a man who would let this happen in the first place. 

"Marley." A voice said. I didn't bother moving my head, I felt like my last bit of energy was used even laying here. 

But as the figure hovered above me, hands in his the pockets of his black suit, I felt my face crinkle in confusion. 

"Professor Lupin?" He smiled and removed his hands from his pockets, sitting down beside me to place his arms around his legs. 

"A little bird told me you'd be here." He stated softly. 

"Did it happen to be a red one?" I mumbled, reminding myself to kick Fred for revealing our safe spot. Lupin chuckled and nodded, looking over at me before sighing. 

"This was your mothers favorite spot too." I instantly sat up, leaning against my elbows as I looked at him. The white cat came over to us and nudged her head against my chin before moving to Lupin. 

"She found it one day during our third year and we used to come here and smok-study.." He said, clearing his throat before giving me an awkward smile. I chuckled and sat up fully, taking my place beside the tree. 

It was odd hearing someone else talk about my mother and not curse her in the same sentence. Before all of this..all I thought was that she was a drug addict who was killed because of me..I never thought she was some great woman and here it was that she changed more lives than she ruined. 

"She came here a lot too when she was upset." Lupin said again. I watched his face change as he looked down at the grass, picking a few pieces before tossing them a little ways away from where he was sitting. 

"When, uh, James and Lily died she, uh, she left. I never saw her again. So when people said they hadn't seen you since Cedric's memorial last night..." 

"You thought I did too?" His silence gave me an answer. 

"Believe me. If I knew how I would." I scoffed, looking back towards the lake just in time to see a fish leap from the water. 

"Marley, look, I understand you're sad, but-"

"I'm not sad, Professor. I'm pissed." I spit, causing him to look at me. 

"I'm pissed because no matter how hard I try to help it never seems to be enough. I mean, I was engaged as of two years ago and now, I'm here and younger and dating other people. People I'm trying to save but failing miserably to do so." I said, my voice growing louder as I spoke. 

I stood up and looked off into the lake, my eyes setting on the castle as I could see students walking about the corridors, laughing and talking with each other. So ignorant to the dangers that lay ahead. 

"I'm living all of these lives and then having to leave them when my story seems it's time and I just-" My voice broke and I felt the same pain forming in my chest as I pictured everyone whom I had left behind. 

"I'm tired." I cried, looking over at him. Lupin's face didn't change. He didn't speak. He didn't move. 

I wiped the tear from my face and sighed. 

"I know who is going to get married. Who's is going to do what job and for how long. I know who's going to die. I know everyone's story except for mine. Even if I did know it, I'm not sure I would like how it turns out." 

"Then change it." Lupin said so softly, I was afraid he didn't even say it. 

I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows. 

"What?" 

"Change it." He stood up and met my eyes. 

"I mean, you know what's going to happen before it does. Which means you also know what would happen if you did change it. Kiddo, I'm sorry but what would've happened if Cedric didn't die?" I froze, a bubble of words stuck in my throat, begging to escape its prison. 

He was right. Could I have changed it? If Cedric were to have been a champion and seen Voldemort no one would have believed him. His father would have been fired for his sons accusations considering the ministry fears Voldemort and they would have lost everything. 

Cedric would not have came back from that kind of thing and who's to say that he would've lived through the war..no..maybe..no..

Lupin grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. 

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told your mother all those years ago and I hope you make the better decision....If you want to go. Then, go. I won't stop you. If you need someone's permission then you have it." 

I didn't dare speak as he spoke. My mouth remained shut and for a moment Lupin looked younger. As If I were my mother and he had, had this conversation for the first time. 

"Or you can stay and make something of yourself. Write your own story and mess up and write it again but don't throw the whole chapter away just because it got too hard. You'd be leaving everyone here without you. Even if you might do it anyways, give them a chance to have more time with you. Help them, fix them, heal yourself. Stay." 

Opinions on this chapter? I was so eepy writing it and the words started merging together. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. <3