Passion Reflamed

Chapter 10

Asfandyaar

The moment Maha fell in my arms, I felt as if my whole world shook. I could not bear to leave her side while even her eyes spoke of her sickness. She had been growing on me a lot. And I always just wanted to get closer to her. To feel her skin on mine, to feel her presence next to me. This was the second time I was getting so close to a girl and this very thought made me close all the gates of my heart.

Now that Maha was feeling better, I realised the need to stay away. My heart hadn't forgotten the pain it faced when it was left alone in the wild after so long of a companionship. I promised myself after that, that I'll never let another girl come close to my heart again. I knew all girls weren't the same but I couldn't afford another bad experience. Plus, my trust issues had risen a lot and the thought that why would anyone love me made me build a high fortress around my heart so no one could come near enough to hurt me.

Daniyal's failure at his own marriage made me even more conscious and the day I told Maha the truth, I decided not to get close to her. I had breached that agreement somewhat but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to divorce Maha, she was an ideal partner, but she wouldn't live with me with all the distances I made. Hugging and kissing her was my absolute favourite and I had to stop myself all the time to wrap my arms around her and never let go. But it was only attraction, I told myself. It would lessen as days would pass.

Two and a half months into our marriage and though we slept on the same bed and talked often, there was a weird hole between us. A hole Maha tried to lessen but I didn't let her push past my boundaries. I would come home late at night and we would leave for work in the morning together. I often planned out of city trips. Time went by quick. The early days of our marriage went into family get-togethers and the huge workload after our wedding break. Life was in a routine and we had to make excuses to everyone as to why we hadn't gone on a honeymoon.

Maha would talk to me late at night about her day and I would listen smiling, showing her the dimples she was obsessed with. We played a happy couple in front of everyone while there was an emptiness between us in private. Maha tried to climb past the high walls but then something would stop her. Maybe the thought that I would hurt her again. I promised myself never to do that though.

I stared at Maha sleeping beside me and all my emotions came hovering back. Sighing, I got up to leave the room, but a cold hand pulled my arm back and my eyes fell on Maha's wide awake ones. I smiled and dropped back into bed. "Where are you going at this time of the night?" She asked eyeing me as she traced the veins on my hand and arms.

"Couldn't sleep so decided to go for a walk." I explained not moving my eyes from Maha who was busy in her task.

"Mhmm." She sleepily said.

"Why are you awake?" I asked moving my hand through her wild hair. She moved her eyes up and bolted upright. I was taken aback by the suddeness.

She then held my hand and stared into it for a while before saying, "Umm... I forgive you for everything. But just don't lie again or else I'll kill you."

"You'll go to jail for killing me." I said laughing.

"Jatt don't care." She said beaming and it added to my laughter. I pulled her closer to me, into my arms and kissed her knuckles while saying, "I'll never hurt you again, meri jaan." She looked at me, her eyes filled with light and emotions and then buried her head into my chest. She slept there like that and I loved it so much that I didn't move till when we woke up in the morning.

Maha

Feelings. There were feelings in my heart for my husband whom I had finally forgiven. We were married since three months and every single day I found myself drawn closer to the dreamy man the world called my husband. I kept reminding myself that he didn't feel for me and probably would never do so but my heart wouldn't listen. I was sure by now that I was in love, head over heels. I craved for moments with him, for him to look at me like I was his world, for him to love me too.

We were all having a family get together at a restaurant. My family, my in-laws and Zahra's family would be present. I chose to wear a midnight blue dress with silver heels. I wore silver jhumkas and the ring Asfi gave me, completing the look with a silver purse. My wavy hair flowed by my sides as I kept them open. Asfi wore a dark blue shalwar kameez and I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He became suspicious, the number of times I looked at him.

We went in two cars to the restaurant. Me and Asfi in one, where as Asfi's parents and brothers were in the second one. In the restaurant, I sat next to Zahra and decided it was time to tell her everything. Zahra cast glances at Daniyal and there was a weird tension between them.

"Wait, so all this drama happened in your life and you're telling me now!??" She practically screamed when I narrated everything truthfully to her. She was the first one I was confiding everything in.

"Would you have let my stayed with Asfi?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"Of course not, he's such a jerk-"

"Who made up to me-"

"That still makes him a jerk-"

"No, it doesn't, he-"

"Ladies, ladies. You can argue later. Food's going to go cold." Ayan intervened from my left side and Zahra gave me a side eye before we both turned our attention to the food. For reasons like this, I did not want to tell Zahra but I had a limit of keeping everything in too. I was ready for a long lecture by her.

"Just because his brother wasn't nice, doesn't mean Asfi isn't too." I whispered to her and she gave me a deadly stare.