Double Edge // ONC 2024 Novella

Chapter Nine

I had to admit, getting out of the apartment was a relief. I was tempted to feel normal again with the passenger window down on the open road. Seff turned the stereo up so loud the audio crackled and strained on the high notes. The bass shook his little car.

I closed my eyes and tried to forget about everything and believe we were going on a vacation. We used to drive all over the East Coast for concerts before I got so busy.

When was the last time we did this? Was it before this round of commissions or the one before that?

We drove through pothole-riddled and winding back roads past vast expanses of patchwork pastures and crops on our way to the North Mountain. By mountain standards, it was more of a hill. It was crafted from the remnants of the Appalachians. A glacier had carved out the Annapolis Valley thousands of years ago.

Seff's little car chugged up the steep, roller-coaster like roads. Dense boreal forest surrounded us on either side, breaking only for hidden driveways. What my vision lacked in colour variety, it made up for it in nuanced greys. The density of the shadows separated the trees from each other so I could see the spaces between. The leaves and foliage stood in hyper definition. For a moment, I almost forgave my eyes for bleeding all the colour out in exchange for such crisp imagery and lighting.

As we reached the top of the mountain, the road flattened. The forest made way for more fields and pastures. To the left, the ocean washed ashore along the horizon. The desaturated, nearly monochromatic palette ripped my heart out.

We'd stayed at this same Airbnb the last time we'd come up here. Back then, the clouded sky went on forever. The setting sun splashed PO 17 Persian orange mingling with PR 109 purple of Cassius under the belly of the clouds. I'd been foolish enough to think it would last. Nothing would ever change.

We neared a large white farmhouse. The home stood three stories tall with a veranda wrapping around the front and the right side. 

A flock of chickens wandered the yard, pecking and scratching at the grass and carefully groomed flower beds.

Gravel crunched under our shoes when we stepped out of the car. Seff smoothed his floppy mohawk with his hand and sighed. The chickens fled and scattered from me with squawks of alarm.

A warm breeze carried the tang of hay, damp wool and fear. A herd of sheep huddled in a pasture on the other side of the barn. They warned each other of my presence in loud bleating cries and worried murmurs amongst each other.

I shoved my hands into the pocket of my jeans. The scent and sound of their anxiety sent a prickle up my spine. Hair stood on the back of my neck. The sweet taste of blood filled my mouth.

That damned eye peered at me from inside my own traitorous mind.

I won't hurt you. I'd never.

Seff frowned at me from across the roof of the car. "You ok over there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

He didn't look like he believed me, but dropped the subject. We grabbed our duffle bags from the trunk and went inside.

****

The upstairs bedroom fit two twin beds with a night stand between them. Blue floral wallpaper peeled in a charming sort of way, exposing the white gyprock beneath. While I sat crossed-legged on the bed, open sketchbook in my lap, Seff huddled on the arm chair under the window. He cracked it open a smidge to let out the smoke from his clandestine cigarette. The Bay air flowed in, tasting sweet with a hint of brine. The overcast sky promised rain.

I sketched, letting my mind wander. My movements were almost autonomous as I allowed my hand to trail across the page with practiced memory.

At least I still have this.

"You better not being drawing me," said Seff. "I hate it when you do that."

"Aw, but you're my muse," I teased.

He chipped out his cigarette, and got up to hover over me. "Hey, that's not me. That's a lady. Who is she?"

"Rudi," I said.

"Who?"

"The girl I met the night before... I told you about her. Remember?"

"Oh yeah." He plunked on the bed beside me. The ancient springs protested against the weight of us both. "Do you think she has anything to do with this? You said she gave you some kind of warning?"

"Yeah, but I dunno. If she warned me, she's probably not bad?"

"Maybe she loses control when she transforms, and warned you to be safe? You said she's got the same funky eye thing happening. How many werewolves can there be?"

"Well, wolves do tend to run in packs." I shrugged. "I'm assuming it's the same deal for werewolves."

"Then why did they leave you all alone?"

I grit my teeth and snapped the sketchbook shut.

"I'm not trying to be mean. It's not adding up, is all. I think Rudi must know something. You can't warn people about something you have no idea about."

"Maybe her pack is mean, and she's good."

Seff leaned against the headboard, his back pressed against the quilted pillows. "You sure have a lot of faith in a lady you just met."

"I dunno. I just can't see it."

A pit lodged in the center of my gut. I fidgeted, rubbing my arms, grateful to feel the skin hold sturdy under my hands. 

****

After supper, we sat out on the back deck.  A narrow dirt road separated the back garden from the pasture. The sheep clung together in a cluster, pacing and stamping the earth. Melody, the owner of the Airbnb, was in the field with them, trying to guide them inside for the night. Her promises of oats carried across the wind. 

Seff and I sat in the lawn chairs. A wicker side table nestled beside us. Smoke trailed a thin plume from the end of his cigarette. 

"Thank you," I said. "I don't think I could do this without you." 

"Good thing you don't have to then," Seff laughed. 

"I'm serious man.  Even when I dropped out of university to do art, you were the only one who supported me." 

"Yeah, look where that got me." His tone was light hearted enough, but the way his eyes shifted to  the side said otherwise. 

I studied my canvas shoes on the floor. "I'm sorry I've gotten so busy. I didn't mean to get so distracted. If it makes you feel better, I probably won't be doing any commissions for awhile." 

"I would never wish that on you," said Seff, "but you could use the break."

"Not indefinitely." 

"It doesn't have to be indefinitely. It's just until you figure something else out. You could take it as a kind of challenge? You're creative, so be creative. You've remembered all those stupid names on those tubes, right? XG 56 is Dolphin blood blue or something. Can't you go by that?" 

I couldn't believe this hadn't occurred to me. All the images and swatches I'd memorized in the past still showed in vivid colour in my mind's eye. His suggestion could be a viable option with a little trial and error.  It still didn't change the fact I missed being able to see the colour for myself, but it would have to do. 

....

Word Count: 1,248