D I L E M M A x Mattheo Riddle

broom closet

               Mattheo Riddle
I wake up in my cold bed and can practically feel the dark circles under my eyes.

The light shines through my curtains and I roll over, peeking at the clock.

6:47 AM

I groan and pull my pillow over my head. I haven't been sleeping well recently. Though, I've never really slept well.

Ever.

At "home", The Riddle Manor, I'm always in too much pain to sleep. Mentally, physically... every type of pain. I've grown accustomed to the dreadful feelings of that house.

But here, at Hogwarts, away from my father and his followers, I still can't sleep. I spend too much time thinking about all the horrible things I've experienced... or wake up screaming from nightmares.

It's not like I want to remember those awful memories, but I can't help it. I drown the thoughts out with alcohol, weed, and the occasional cigarette, but the nightmares still catch up with me.

Theo, Draco, Lorenzo, and Blaise, my best friends, have a vague idea of what I've been through, but they don't know how bad it was.

How bad it is.

I can't bring myself to talk to them about my feelings, or whatever, because there's no use.

What are they going to do? Pat me on the back and tell me it's going to be okay? God, that thought alone makes me feel sick.

I don't have very long until my alarm goes off, so I might as well get ready for the day.

I hop out of bed and walk to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, washing my face, and fixing my hair.

"You alright mate?" Lorenzo asks, leaning against the bathroom doorframe.

"What?" I say, confused.

"You woke up screaming. Again."

Now the memory comes rushing back. Late in the night I did awake from a nightmare, an especially cruel one. I didn't mean to wake anyone up though, obviously.

"Sorry for waking you up, it was just a bad dream." I shrug.

Lorenzo stands up, moving away from the door frame. "It's alright." He rubs the back of his neck, walking back into the dorm.

I pick up my bag and head out the door, making my way to The Great Hall for breakfast.

On my way through the corridors, I see Vivienne walking with her asshole of a Boyfriend. They're dressed in athletic garb, like they'd just had a tennis match.

Briar looks so fucking stupid in that polo. I wish I could beat him up.

Vivienne shoots me a small smile as she walks past me, which goes unnoticed by Briar.

Smiling?

Gross.

My expression remains neutral as I walk past her.

I've had a little more free time since Vivienne and I finished our project the other day. I don't really know what to do with myself now, honestly.

I can't stop thinking about her. Her witty humor always cheered me up, without her even knowing. I found it slightly easier to sleep on the days I worked on the project with her.

It sounds weird, and I don't know why, but I hope there may be another project for us soon.

We make a good team, and I guess it was just nice being around her.