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Chapter 47 | Present day

Sam. 

Present day. 

Liv sits in a bed erect and stiff. Like her back became a fragile pane of glass with a perfect posture. My blood is boiling. Pounding. After everything, why?

She turns from the other person in the room. He sits stiffly too. But it's more like cardboard. He has white blond hair and blue eyes. I feel myself stop. Wince when I feel a stab of jealousy run through my spine. 

Who is he? How come Liv's never mentioned him?

She looks scared. I hate that I make her feel that way. I hate that she looks like she's scared of me. 

Of me. 

Scared of me. 

What happened to her?

She has a long, white bandage wrapped around her torso. Her arms are tubed to beeping machines beside her on both sides. The green heart rate machine is beeping like crazy. The lines are spiking up and down. 

Like she's scared of me. 

Her under eyes are filled with heavy bags, almost black.

Her hands are shaking like leaves about to fall from a tree in autumn. 

She doesn't say anything. 

I stall. 

Wait. 

"You're moving, Liv?" I say, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. Trying to keep the anger in the pot. That's what everyone said I should do. 

She releases a tiny breath. "Sam."

"Answer." I don't recognise my voice. It breaks two times in that one word like pieces of paper. Loud. Crumbling. 

The world is crumbling at her feet. 

She nods. 

And my heart stops beating. I need to sit. I need to make sure I'm okay. I'm still breathing. The world isn't ending. I'm okay. 

I'm not okay. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She's silent. 

I barely realise when the other person in the room leaves, 

because my eyes are on the machine. 

Beeping. 

Beeping. 

Beep...beep...beep.

And she says, "I don't know."

I don't know either Liv.

I don't know what's happening. 

What are we doing to ourselves?

Damning ourselves to hell.

That's what.