One Shots

Comfortable ≠ Sustainable

Hey guys, Olivia texted in the group chat, we should go to the haunted house that just opened.

It wasn't until two days later that someone responded with a noncommittal, Yeah, that sounds fun.

Olivia tried to set a date, but people were either busy or never answered. She was dejected by her friends' lack of enthusiasm. She texted them because she was interested, and she knew some of her friends would be interested.

She wound up calling her cousin to vent. They were three years apart, but they were really close. They didn't see each other all the time, but there was usually a steady stream of texts and memes sent back and forth between the two of them.

"I just don't understand," she said to her cousin over a video call. "I know that's something they would want to do. I understand people are busy, but they could at least respond."

Olivia, being a proper multitasker, was on Instagram while she complained. She came across one of her friends' stories. There was a photo from what seemed like the night before. It consisted of a couple people that were in the group chat Olivia texted in only a few days prior. And what do you know? They were at the haunted house Olivia had wanted to go to.

"Are you serious?" Olivia exclaimed as she examined the photo.

Her cousin, Sabrina, sat up in her chair. "What's up?"

"Lisa posted a photo on her story of her and some friends at the haunted house!"

"What?"

"You know, the place I mentioned to them. The place I wanted to go to. The place I tried to make plans for," she got more aggravated the more she thought about it.

"Okay, that's fucked up."

"I know! How can they say they're busy or just not answer at all and then go out and do the exact thing I wanted to do? Like, did I do something? Are they mad at me?"

Olivia felt herself starting to tear up but did her best to stop them from falling. She didn't want to cry over this. It wasn't worth it. Although, they were more tears of anger than sadness.

"I could always take you," Sabrina offered.

Olivia sniffed, not quite able to completely hold back her tears. "You hate that kind of thing. I wouldn't put you through that."

"But you like it. I wouldn't...hate it."

"I appreciate it, but I'm not gonna let you suffer, so I can have a little fun. Besides, part of the fun is going in a group like that."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry they did that to you."

Olivia shrugged. "Whatever. I think the worst part is that they probably don't think or know they did anything wrong, and when I inevitably see one of them on campus, they'll act like nothing happened."

"I think you should call them out on it."

"You know I'm not one for drama."

"It doesn't have to turn into drama. Just let them know that they did something that hurt you. It's not to start something—it's to hold them accountable and maybe teach them a lesson so it doesn't happen again."

"I don't know. I'm not very confrontational."

"I know." Sabrina sighed. "So, you're just gonna do nothing?"

"I don't know. Probably. It's not like we've talked that much in the past few months anyway."

"They're still your friends."

"When they want to be," Olivia grumbled.

Sabrina frowned. "Maybe you need new friends."

Olivia laughed humorlessly. "There's a reason I've stuck with the ones I have for as long as I have."

"Hey, c'mon, don't say that. You're great."

"I'm not...trying to be self-deprecating. I just don't do well around new people. I don't make friends easily. I got lucky that they started including me and just glued myself to them...I actually don't think I'm capable of actively making friends. It just kind of happens by chance, which I guess is why my best friend is a fricking family member."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you. You can't get better if you don't want to help yourself," Sabrina gave her cousin some tough love.

"You know I get anxious around people I don't know," Olivia whispered like it was some big secret. "I've tried including myself, but it's usually with more than one person. And, they always seem more invested with each other than me. So then, I'm the odd one out, and every conversation feels like I'm butting in. At some point, I just stop, and no one ever says anything. They don't care. No one cares-"

Before Olivia could spiral even further, Sabrina cut her off, "You're rambling, Liv. You're overthinking things."

"It's hard to feel like I'm overthinking when it's just the truth. Everyone always prefers someone else to me. It's no big deal. It's whatever. It's how it's always been and how it always will be."

"So you're just gonna suffer because you can't assert yourself?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." She trailed off, making Sabrina think her words may have actually hit home. "Yes. I think that's exactly what'll happen."

Olivia heard Sabrina facepalm on the other end of the call. "Liv..."

"I'm used to it, okay. I don't care."

"Liv," her tone changed slightly.

"It's fine. Friendships end with school anyway, so losing people is inevitable. So what if that time comes a little early?"

Sabrina was more stern this time, "Liv."

The younger girl sighed. "What?"

"Look, friendships don't always end after graduation. Look at me and Chloe. We've been friends since grade school."

"That's different," Olivia claimed stubbornly.

"Oh, yeah?" Sabrina would have crossed her arms if she wasn't holding her phone to show her face. "How is it different?"

"It just is!" She said, having no real defense. "Hey, thanks for letting me vent, but I have to go. I have work to do."

"Liv," she said gently. "I'll stop pushing. I just don't want you to be lonely."

"Yeah, no, I know. I'll figure something out. But I do have homework due soon that I haven't started so..."

"Okay, fine. Go be responsible or whatever. Man, I do not miss homework."

"Yeah, yeah, lucky you. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Liv. Love you."

"Love you, too. Bye, Sabrina."

They hung up. Olivia sat back and let out a long, tired sigh. After a moment of decompressing, she got her laptop and reluctantly did some homework that was start to pile up.

She wasn't sure what to do about her friends, but she knew it was likely that nothing would change. She could deal with it. She already had been. Their friend group hadn't been the same since they graduated from high school. And the communication between them only seemed to diminish as time went on.

It happened. There wasn't much Olivia could do about it besides maybe confront her friends about it. Even then, she wasn't sure if that would really change anything. Maybe one day she would be brave enough to do something for her best interest. But for now, she was fine with settling if it meant not having to go out of her comfort zone.