I am a SHAME, simply a ghostly apparition in the lonely caves of my existence, an incarnation of broken pieces that yearn to vanish into nothing. I am fully aware of how miserable I am—a pitiful mixture of brokenness and hopelessness. The scars inflicted on my body and the marks on my flesh are merely markers of a meaningless existence.
I've become used to the unrelenting barrage of suffering and the callous indifference of the environment around me. I am only a worthless vessel, so it doesn't matter if I am used, mistreated, or thrown away. And yet, to be pitied by someone like myself is an unsettling realization and a harsh reminder of the hideous joke that is my life.
Why should love deign to grace one so unworthy like I?
Why should my heart's hollow chambers contain compassion? I am merely a lost spirit, drifting aimlessly through apathy, yearning for the delightful liberation of forgetting. There's nothing to comfort me in this barren emptiness, just the cruel refrain of my own despair's reverberating murmurs.
I feel like a stranger in my own flesh, an alien floating aimlessly in a world that wants to ignore me. I look in the mirror and see only a warped face, a hideous parody of the humanity I so desperately want.
I am no human, I am treated like an alien, not a human being.
Even though I would shred flesh from bone and sacrifice the very core of my existence as atonement, I would still be judged as self-centered for daring to hold onto the fragile remains of my shattered soul.
"BEGONE!" Said society.
I am no human, they say. I am not of this earth; I am an alien, a foreign being lost on a planet that will not acknowledge my humanity. I am an anomaly, a creature of the night that prowls the edges of humanity. I am banished, marked with the stigma of being different, and left to fend for myself in the barren wasteland of my own alone.
YOU ARE READING
BEGONE
Non-FictionTW: SA, SH DEPRESSION, ABUSE In which a collection of words where a certain person struggles with the weight of her own suffering, we see her fall deeper and deeper into despair with every page turn. From the first signs of trauma to the nagging af...
