mona lisa , chris sturniolo

41 | match made in heaven

♫ how do i say goodbye / dean lewis ♫
☆
so how do i say goodbye
to someone who's been with me for my whole damn life?
i see your face when i look at mine
you'll always be my closest friend
so how do i say goodbye?

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| real life |

real life

The house looming in front of me is more familiar to me than my own childhood home, yet for the first time in my life, I am hesitant to knock on the door.

"Don't be a pussy, Brynlee," I mutter to myself as I stare at the door. I flex my fingers to draw courage before lifting my fist to knock.

A dog immediately starts barking from inside and a woman's voice scolds him as the sound of light footsteps treads in my direction.

I swallow nervously, suddenly rethinking my decision to come, but it is too late to change my mind, because the door is swinging open to reveal the woman who has always treated me like one of her own.

When she sees me, Marylou's face softens into a look of love and she immediately gestures for me to come inside. "Brynlee, sweetie. It's so good to see you."

I hesitate in the doorway, my fingernails digging into my palm. "I left him. We fought, and I left." Do you really want me to come in, Marylou? After what I did?

Marylou's gentle expression doesn't fade and she opens the door wider. "He'll get over it." I don't love you any less.

My bottom lip quivers for half a second before I burst into tears, sobs escaping my lungs as I wipe my nose on my sleeve.

"Oh, honey," Marylou sighs, and gently grabs my hand to pull me inside the house. After closing the door behind me, she leads me to the living room and I collapse onto the couch beside her, not hesitating to curl up into her side.

"I feel shitty," I cry, burying my head into Marylou's shoulder. Her arm is wrapped around my shoulders, and her other hand rests on one of my knees. "I didn't want to leave, but I don't know what to do. I'm so scared of losing him."

"I know," Marylou soothes me, her hand gently stroking my hair. "You've been through a lot, Bryn. It's okay to be scared."

"I don't want to hurt him," I sniffle as tears continue to roll down my face. "What do I do, Marylou? I don't know what to do."

"Why are you so afraid to lose him?" Marylou asks quietly, continuing to run her hand through my hair.

I swipe my hand across my face as I blink up at her incredulously. "You know why. I lost my dad, who was the most important person to me, and it destroyed me. Now Chris is the most important person to me, and if I lose him, I can't take it. I don't want to live in a world without him."

Marylou smiles softly and presses a gentle kiss to my head. "I want you to think deeper than that. Why are you afraid to lose him?"

I inhale a shuddering breath, my sobs subsiding as I ponder Marylou's question. "I just really love him, I don't know. He makes me really happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and it fucking kills me to think about him not being there. Because it kills me knowing that my dad is supposed to be here and he's not."

Marylou hums in acknowledgement, but stays quiet, allowing me to continue thinking.

"I don't want my relationship with Chris to be dedicated by my fear," I whisper as I burrow deeper into Marylou's side to seek comfort from her body heat. "It's not fair to him, and it's fucking exhausting."

"Do you love Chris?"

"Of course I do." I peer up at Marylou in confusion. "You know I do."

Marylou smiles comfortingly at me, sensing my unease at her question. "There's this verse in the Bible that talks about there not being fear in love, but that perfect love casts out fear."

I stiffen every so slightly, unsure of where Marylou is going with this. "Are you saying I don't love Chris enough?"

"No, sweetie, of course not," Marylou chuckles, smoothing her hand over my hair again. "There's another Bible verse that instructs us to fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

My brow wrinkles slightly, not following Marylou's train of thought.

"What I'm saying is, maybe you're focusing too much on what is seen," Marylou says gently as she rubs her thumb across the crease in my forehead. "You still love your dad, right? Even though he's not here?" When I nod, Marylou continues. "That love will last forever. You and your dad may not physically be together anymore, but the love that ties the two of you together is stronger than anything of this world."

Tears silently start to roll down my face again, but I stay quiet, hanging onto Marylou's every word.

"The same goes for you and Chris. I've seen the two of you together, Bryn. You are a match made in heaven." Marylou gently wipes my tears away before rubbing my shoulder in comfort. "Perfect love casts out fear. Nothing in this world is perfect, but when you focus on the love that you and Chris share rather than your fear of losing him, your bond will grow stronger, and you will trust that no matter what happens, Chris will be with you forever. Just like your dad is."

At some point during Marylou's speech, I start to sob again, my shoulders shaking as the weight of Marylou's words sinks into me. Focus on what is unseen, for it is eternal. Perfect love casts out fear.

Marylou hugs me to her chest once she finishes talking and whispers quiet words of reassurance into my ear as she rubs my back, letting me soak her sweater with my tears.

I don't register the sound of heavy footsteps on the floor, but I feel the couch sink down when someone sits down on my other side. A second hand comes to rest on my back, and I cry harder when I recognize Jimmy's woodsy scent.

The married couple sits in silence as I cry, but despite their lack of words, their love fills the space around me and seeps into the broken cracks of my heart. I may have lost my dad, and I may lack the love of my own mom, but Marylou and Jimmy have never failed to show me the unconditional love of a mother and father.

Perfect love casts out fear. Focus on what is unseen, for it is eternal. My dad is physically gone, but his presence will be with me forever. I may not be physically with Chris forever, but his love will fill every part of my being for the rest of my life and longer. And what more can I ask for?

☆ cara's obsession ☆

lmfao i cried writing this chapter. i don't even think it's that emotional, but including bible verses just made me sappy cause i am christian and i love that stuff lol. if you're interested, the verses i mentioned are from 1 john 4:18 and 2 corinthians 4:18

also, y'all should go read mzzystars stuff, she's got a chris and a matt fic out and they're both SO GOOD. she's literally been reading mona lisa since the beginning and i only just realized she has her own fics (embarrassing for me). but anyways she's awesome so check her out

i'm going to be offline all weekend to have a break from screens and whatnot but i'll be back with another chapter sometime next week! love you all so so much and i hope something makes you smile today!!🩷🩷

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