mona lisa , chris sturniolo

27 | i'm totally into him

♫ the blue / gracie abrams ♫
☆
despite the space between us
i've never felt this close to someone
what if you're my weakness?
you came out of the blue like that
i never could've seen you coming
i think you're everything i've wanted

🍊 🍊 🍊

| real life | social media |

real life

I can't get the thought of Chris' lips out of my head.

And shoot me for saying that because it is incredibly cringy, but it's the truth. All day, the moment Chris and I almost kissed last night has been circling through my mind.

His fingers digging into my hips to pull me closer to his body. His eyes, flickering between my own eyes and my mouth. His breath, brushing over my lips. He had been so close to me, but he wasn't close enough. I had wanted him closer. And then fucking Matt had to ruin it.

And God forbid I ever tell anyone this, but I really fucking wanted to kiss Chris. I never would have thought these feelings about Chris would rise in me, but they did, and now I can't stop thinking about him.

Part of me is glad that Matt interrupted Chris and I's moment. Because if we had kissed, what would have happened next? I am fucking terrified of relationships, and Chris has vocally expressed disinterest and uncomfort with the idea of committing to a girlfriend. We would never work. But fuck, I wanted to kiss him.

After Matt interrupted us last night, Chris and I carried on as if nothing had happened. It wasn't weird or awkward between us; we continued teasing and casually touching each other as often as usual. Nothing had changed. But in some ways, everything had changed.

The four of us got fast food for dinner and watched a movie at home, and I continuously caught Chris with his gaze locked on me. And when he wasn't paying attention, my eyes were fixed on him. It was normal between us, but something had shifted.

I fell asleep during the movie and only briefly woke up when one of the boys put a blanket over me, but I stayed on the couch all night. When I woke this morning, the boys were already out of the house for a busy day of work. Chris had texted me to say good morning, but other than that, I haven't seen him since last night.

Part of me is nervous to see him again because I don't understand what is occurring between us. But the other part of me cannot wait to see him again. Normally, I often miss him when we are apart, but I can handle being away from him. Now, I can't get him out of my head and am craving his presence like never before.

An abrupt blast of a honk cuts into my consciousness, effectively ripping me out of my daydream. I blink rapidly as I refocus on the road and wave an apology at the car behind me, who is likely mad because I am driving significantly under the speed limit.

"Stop thinking about Chris," I mumble to myself, reaching to turn my music up as I step on the gas. "Focus."

Before long, I am pulling off the highway into a small, picturesque town. After finding a parking spot on the side of the main road, I clamber out of my car, the warm sun kissing my skin in greeting. I can't help but grin up at the blue sky as I make my way down the street towards the shop I came for. I love sunny days.

The metal of the door handle is warm against my hand as I push the door open, causing a bell to dingle in greeting. The smell of paint surrounds me like an old friend, and a shiver of excitement rolls through my body as my eyes take in the retro-style art store in front of me.