The thought lingers in my head: "Would my mother have been happy if she'd never had kids?"
Most people, parents...would die for their children
In a way, I'd already died for my mother
Tended to her when she was ill
Encouraged her to get out of bed on the days she felt she could not
Went shopping for the groceries when the fridge was empty and warm
I'd already passed, my soul long gone by the time she realized how to be a mother
I had given her my last chance, and her heart told her no, she couldn't do it
Couldn't be strong enough for her kids
And it made some sense in the beginning
After all, she was a drug addict
I was supposed to feel sorry for her
But to choose drugs and a life without your kids....
I thought I had seen it all
But a mother with no motivation to keep her own children alive,
That's cruel
And I no longer take care of my mother
I don't wash her back
I don't comb through her tatted hair
I don't even cook her meals
I only helped her to find out what real love for a person you helped create was
How to love them and never have to ask for anything in return
She didn't understand
My mother would have been happier if she'd never had kids.
