Twisted Chances

14. Nia

"Damn all these exams!", I exclaim frustrated.

Tomorrow I have exams in a week and I can't remember most things.

All I do is think about Niko and lose my focus.

I used to love to study.

It was the only thing that kept me busy and made me feel useful.

I never had other talents like the others.

The only thing that I have ever been good at is study.

But also while studying I get to know about a lot of things that it makes me crave more for it.

When I was even younger, I used to wish that if I could just study through out my whole life.

But even though I was good, brother has always been better.

Be it studies or sports. He has always outshined in everything he has ever laid his eyes on. Even now his new company is doing much better than many other building companies.

As the eldest son he has always made mom and dad proud.

He literally always gets what he wants.

But one bad habit he has is that he is a word eater just like dad.

I am too different than the people in my family. I am not like any of them.

I have very few common interests and habits with them.

Because of this Eithan used to joke that I was brought up from a dumpster when we were small.

I have always had anxiety of letting the people around me down as I know I can never be better.

Once my anxiety had gotten so worse that I had started isolating myself from others and had started pulling my hair whenever I would get tense as I would curdle up in a corner of my bed and face the wall. I would refused to meet anyone.

Seeing my brother exel at everything while I would always be stuck in his shadows, the thought used to torment me.

But I have never been jealous of him. I have always been proud for everything he has done his entire life and for me.

He loves me a lot. I matter a lot to him.

So, I can never hate him. Never.

But I wanted to make my own name. I did not want to remain ignored and unnoticed.

Because of this I have a habit of never letting go of something that I get my hands on.

I get overprotective of it. As it makes me feel that something at least knows that I exist.

Camilla also used to be Eithan's friend.

In high school me, her and Amy, we became best friends.

I am possessive of them too.

Whenever somebody had ever talked bad about them or wanted to be friends with them they had to deal with serious consequences.

I know I sound like a psychopath, but I have never ever harmed anyone physically.

Maybe because I took up to be a doctor?

Just kidding, I can never hurt anyone physically for some bad reasons.

I even had to go to therapy.

That was when I had realised what I am. How wrong I am.

I started to change myself but I couldn't completely ever do it till date as I just want feel like tearing up the photos of Niko and Brittany together.