DEDICATION: Secrets are fun to keep, But how long are they fun?

Chapter Ten

Alia's Pov
I ran from Abhimanyu's car as soon as possible. What did I do just now? Of all people I kissed my professor at a party. Are you for real Alia? Him of all people. Why in the whole world?

But it wasn't that bad. I never thought about it but he is quite a good kisser with those dark red lips and amazing skills. His lips were not as soft as mine but yet they were perfectly paired with my lips. If I would have to rate him he was 9.5 out of 10. I touched my lip remembering that moment.

Wait, you're crazy. You're actually rating your professor on his kissing skill. Now I'm really thinking that I'm drunk by drinking only water.

I messaged Riza and got to home as soon as possible. Sitara was working late today. If some particular ocean blue eyed man hasn't kissed me today, I was totally going to pick a fight with Sitara as she kept a big secret from me. But I guess I have a bigger secret to keep now.

I changed into my night clothes and sat at our balcony to clam myself down. The rush of Pune city was full on speed despite the darkness of night. I could feel air coming from the garden nearby. The air made my hair fly in a rhythm which clam me down.

Now when I think about it. Everything I did today was for Abhimanyu in a sense from my dress up to me dancing just to show I'm equally capable. I was not worried about what they think I was worried about what Abhimanyu might think. Everything replayed in my mind. The convo at his office, we checking those papers together, our daily car rides, our daily teacher student conversations followed by teacher teacher and then friends conversations, him being a big part of my life and our conversations at school which were friendly and always full of laughter. He wasn't so dull once you catch his humor.

I adored his personality, his behavior with kids, his maturity, his philosophy and his stupid motivations. I adored all of them. I adored the way he talked with everyone. I adored his way of handling critical situations. I adored his confidence, his achievement, his success. I adored his kindness though most people usually misunderstand him. I liked the way he talked to me. I liked him laughing at my silly jokes. I liked him vibing on music with me. I liked how we were so similar yet a little different. I loved him trying to cheer me. I loved him trying to bring me back to life in which he succeeded. I loved him being my best friend. I loved him...

I didn't realize when the word adore turned into like and like turned into love. When the realization hit me I knew I was falling.

I was falling for Abhimanyu.

I realized it many times but I've always ignored it but now I'm going to accept this feeling. I wanna accept my feelings towards him. Him being a professor doesn't hurt. We both are adult infact I'm just 2 years younger than him so it was okay.

I can't wait to tell him this. I hope he feels the same. He does he was the one who kissed you but it could be a mistake he smelled alcohol he was drunk. Was it mistake? Do he feel anything towards me? Am I assuming? Or am I overthinking? There my thoughts went on battling in my mind.

What in the world I've gotten myselves into?

The morning after I was getting ready for college. I've decided I'll confess today. I'll acknowledge my feelings regardless of his reaction. I braced myself and went to the college.

The whole lecture Abhimanyu played his usual cold with humor kinda professor. The only once ours eyes meet during the lecture was when a character in the current drama we are studying defined what kiss means? Our eyes met for a fraction of seconds his eyes unreadable but filled with a sparkle brought a twist in my stomach. He is been my death. That body, that face, those eyes and the spectacles framing them were deadly handsome. He is been the only center of attraction.

After the college as usual I got to his office but strangely he was already heading out.

"Let's sit in the car. We have things to figure out." He said in his usual tone but a bit cold. I was scared. What now? What if he regrets the kiss? What if he is mad? All the possibilities crossed my mind till we reached to his car.

"I'm sorry for yesterday, Alia. I shouldn't have did that. I shouldn't have kissed you yesterday. I'm sorry for that."

'Why do you regret? Or feel that I was uncomfortable?'

"No you shouldn't be sorry actually. We are mature adults and responsible for our actions. Besides you were drunk but I was sober and I did it. So it's okay." Please don't hate it Abhimanyu please.

"Drunk or not I'll take my responsibility. I'm really sincerely sorry."

Don't say that it breaks my heart to know that he is guilty about yesterday whereas it means a lot to me.

"I'm sorry too." He hesitantly nodded and stared to drive the car.

Tell him Alia you'll regret if you didn't. But what if affects our friendship? Do you want to regret?

Finally I agreed that I'll tell him.

"I wanted to say something."
"What?"
"Actually.... actually I like you Abhimanyu. I liked your personality. The way you talk. The way you motivate. The way you, laugh the way you smile. I'm falling for you. Can we date?" I said it in one go his face had a small smile appearing until it turned into a faded expression.

"No. You know my nature I say everything clear. And it is a no for me. You're gorgeous, amazing and extremely talented Alia but I don't think that I should date you. And many of the people they came to me with their proposals ... But I was sorry to them and to you too..... So pls don't mind. Someone will be there for you ... All the best to find your match... It wouldn't get done by me ... I'm sorry. If I've mistaken then sorry to mislead you ... But we are just friends and will remain the same..."

That hurts a lot like string in my heart. I know him he is always clear and he was today it broke me. But yet I managed to say,

"You don't have to be sorry. It's your choice there is no way I'll force you into it. If something then I'm sorry about this." I said silenced filled the car unlike the usual sound of music. I looked out of the window to hide my tears. It was heartbreaking. I was hurt. Why do I always have to go through this? What's wrong in me? I was not in my senses when I asked him,

"Why not me? Am I that bad? Do you regret yesterday? Am I not good enough?"

"It's not like that Alia. You're great, gorgeous, amazing..."
"Then why?" I turned at his direction his expression softened seeing years in my eyes and sadness filled his eyes with disappointment. I couldn't control my emotions either and my tears fell free in front of him.

"Because I'm married. I have a wife." I choked at that sentence.