CHAPTER THREE

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CHAPTER THREE:

I opened my eyes after a few hours of sleep, and the first thing that popped in my head was Kylo's look on his face before I closed the door behind him. It took him a few minutes standing outside our gate with his head down before he finally got into his car and left. I secretly watched him do that from the window of my bedroom and I cried myself to sleep afterwards from the pain I could no longer hold back.

I didn't mean to lay it all out on him like that. In fact, I wanted to keep my feelings in a box, lock it, and throw away the key just so I could bury all of it deep inside. All the love, the disappointment, the anger. I just want it gone so I could go back to being his best friend—the one who listens to his problems, the one who would laugh to his joke even if it's stupid, the one who would tell him in his face that he just made a dumb mistake, then help him fix it no matter what. I want to go back in time where I was content to be just his best friend even if I did have feelings I kept as a secret.

I looked at my phone when a notification from Instagram popped out and I almost fell off my bed when I read what it was about. Julian had found me on the app and followed me a few minutes ago. I started biting my nails while staring at the blue button calling my name to click it. I tried hiding my smile when I followed him back, but it was like an instinct I didn't even know I had.

After following him back, I started looking at his feed and I immediately felt the butterflies fly around my stomach. He has 45 posts, 12k followers, 556 following. He's a bit famous considering there were some comments on his pictures that come from people he doesn't follow back. I wouldn't blame them for liking him, he looks like someone you'd see on the street and immediately fall in love with even when he's just standing still. Julian is just that kind of guy.

I looked at his photos. Some were pictures from his trips to Japan, Korea, and Paris. His probably go-to pose is candid shots since there are pics of him like he was still thinking of what pose to do when the camera got clicked, yet it still came out good. Some pics were his selfies which equally looked good too. Although some of his selfies looked like he was taking a pic with somebody beside him because of the space. Still adorable.

I stopped in this one picture he took two years ago when he was in Siargao. He was half-naked posing with a surfboard. I shook my head until I felt dizzy when I realized I was staring. "What's wrong with you?" I whispered to myself, hoping it would clear my head. But when I looked back on my phone again, I started screaming when I saw the heart become red. "No, no, no! Shit!" I shouted as I clicked the heart button again to make it disappear.

I tossed my phone on my bed as I walked back and forth, hoping that he didn't receive a notification about my little accident. That picture I liked was from two years ago, not to mention Julian was half-naked. I bit my nails as I looked at my phone light up from the Instagram notification I received. My hands were trembling when I picked up my phone to take a peek at it, making me almost wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole from the embarrassment.

You slept okay? :) hahaha

He's probably laughing because of the notification he got. Out of all the pictures he posted, I liked the one where he was half-freaking-naked. I'm so fucking stupid. I could feel my cheeks turning red the more I looked at his message. I composed myself before replying to him.

Not really, pero okay na ako, ikaw ba?

I kept telling myself to act nonchalant and just own it. It's a good picture of Julian that I liked and there's nothing wrong with a little admiration once in a while. That's what I kept telling myself in my head, though the redness on my cheeks was saying otherwise.

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