Episode 24: Banzai or no banzai?

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We all look at the windows. Both the left and right propellers spin just like before.

Maybe it was just my imagination.

"I didn't..." The doctor looks at his hands and trembles like a leaf. "I meant," he continues, "that I don't think the pilot fueled up with an exact amount of fuel. Usually, it's normal to have more fuel, right? I mean, a reserve. Logically?"

"Yeah," I say nervously. "And what happens when the reserve runs out?"

Silence falls.

I feel like courage is leaving us all.

This waiting is terrifying. I look at them and get even more scared when I see them: both are as pale as a sheet. The German bites his upper lip. Probably, my face doesn't look too good either.

After the third attempt, I manage to light a cigarette. I stretch out the pack to them and offer cigarettes, but I drop them, scattering them on the floor. My hands don't listen to me anymore.

I inhale deeply and calm down a bit. Enough to realize that time is passing unrealistically slowly. Everything moves as if in slow motion. Time ripples. I rub my eyes.

"It's not from my eyes," I whisper. "It's real. God, I wish it would end! Why does time pass so slowly?" I suddenly scream. "Why aren't we dying? I feel like I can't take it anymore. Hey, you two, listen to me for a moment! I suggest we speed up and steer the seaplane directly into... into the water."

"Are you crazy?" the man jumps.

"I'm not crazy, buddy. But this waiting is killing me."

"It's clear," he says shortly. "You're insane. Stay there, by those bags. Don't come near! From now on, none of us enters the cockpit. None of us."

I'm not crazy

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I'm not crazy. He's wrong. I'm painfully lucid.

I look at the miserable man with brotherly understanding. These two are the last people I'll ever see. Shouldn't I love them? They're my suffering brothers.

"It's pointless, kids!" I smile at them. "None of us knows how to land this piece of junk on the sea, and nobody answered us on the radio. Around us, everywhere... there's just water and more water. And we're two kilometers high."

"And what's wrong with that?" the doctor snaps nervously. "If you touch the controls in the cockpit, you'll have to deal with me!"

"I'm not touching anything. I'm just trying to explain to you guys that, come on, it's stupid to wait. We need to... do something, to... to..."

"To what?" the girl asks. Her black eyes seem even darker now. "Why do you want to crash the plane?"

"Because it's pathetic to cling to life like desperados. It's stupid."

I look at them and try to explain, to win them over:

"Our problem is very simple: we're going to die. I know it, you know it! But for God's sake, why die a thousand deaths before we truly die? Do these minutes mean so much to you two? What's better? Holding hands and screaming in terror as the plane crashes, or deliberately crashing the plane and shouting 'Banzai' with our arms up?"

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