𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇

electric gaze

This man's words reminded me of how fast time has been passing. In a year I will graduate and have to decide what to do with my life. And the truth is, I don't have a clue what to do sometimes. I'm an excellent student, everyone points it out. But what if I don't make the right choice? What if I waste all my potential and live a life of regret? During the last few years, high school brought me some clarity regarding my life's choices. I'd like to work in the health sector or in scientific research, in a laboratory. I'm thinking of applying to med school or biochemistry, but I haven't decided yet. There are just so many things to have in count and the fear of failing has been consuming me. I'm so scared of not being good enough, of not making the right decision or not handling it all, the stress, the pressure... There's also another thing that saddens me, having to probably leave music behind.

"Ellie seems adorable" I managed to respond while adjusting the strap of the guitar case on my shoulder in an attempt to let him know I needed to leave.

"Oh, she is, a bit stubborn too. Just like my Ellie used to be."

"Do you mean your wife?"

"She passed away two years ago." - he breathed in - "Cancer."

Cancer. The word echoed in my mind as a bittersweet memory does and instantly, my grandma and Chase's mum came to my thoughts. I never met my grandma. They found out she had cancer when my mum was pregnant with me. But everyone tells me great stories about her. They all say she was a very hardworking woman, a fighter, a force of living, extremely kind, and always ready to help those in need. One of the reasons I got interested in medicine was exactly because of that, I want to be reminded like her, as someone who did everything she could to help others. If one day I can be half of what she was as a person, I will feel fulfilled, because although I didn't meet my grandma, I feel her inside of me every day. As if her memory was a reminder that everything will be okay, especially when my surroundings try to convince me otherwise.

"The first two months were torture." - the man continued-"With the kids having their own families already, I had the house just for me. I had never been alone for so long before, except when Ellie went to Toulouse to visit her family. We couldn't afford tickets for the both of us at the time because Ellie and I married in the summer of 72 when we were both only 18. Oh! We were crazy in love but we barely had money to do the ceremony!"

The man's words were interrupted by Ellie, the cat, who had woken up and jumped to the inside of the violin suitcase, making me notice a small blue embroidery in it. "Alf Hughes, class of 72"

"I'm so sorry for your wife Mrs. Hughes." - I politely tried to comfort him.

We remained in silence for a while as the man approached the cat and put it on his lap.

"After her death-" he finally kept going" I found my old violin from high school days, in the attic. I restored it, put some new strings on it, and decided to start to play in the streets to cherish people, but mostly to cherish me. I was going crazy all alone by myself in that house when my other Ellie appeared. She was always purring, asking me for food here next to the station. So I decided to adopt her."

I smiled at his words. Frewood never failed to remind me of how we all are humans after all, with different stories and backgrounds, souls trapped between love and loss, survivors, but at the end of the day, humans. Humans who sometimes just need someone to listen to them and their stories. Just like Mr.Hughes was doing with me. But what old people don't know, is that they inspire us by doing it.

"That was very sweet of you. I'm sure she is very well treated now."

"I do my best! I do my best" - he laughed - "Oh! You should go, it's almost nine!"