With love Simon

Human contact

POV JUNE:

I don't care what Nora and her other friends might think: I need to talk to Simon. I need to look him in the eye and tell him how proud I am of what I've done, without being afraid to talk too loudly or be completely crazy.

I would always run to him.

We're connected and we can't avoid it.

We're nothing yet, and I don't know if we'll ever be, but I can't stay away from them.

Nora's, Nate's, Jake's... They don't mean anything to me.

I'm leaving school and I hope Simon is waiting for me, because the only thing I want right now is to talk to him. Tell him I'm so proud of him, even if no one tells him. Simon is my America, a discovery that has improved my life, but also complicated it.

Everything is so special but at the same time disastrous.

The only thing that's special is us, but the world around us is a disgusting mess.

From the moment I saved it, I knew we could be the perfect melody in those out-of-tune sounds.

The perfect book in the middle of a pile of incomprehensible books.

The thrilling sunset in the dark.

The difference between living and breathing.

Because without him, everything looks different.

And I realize only now that the perfect life I had always thought I had was empty.

Route.

Incomplete.

He was missing.

Simon was missing.

As I think of him, I find him in front of me with his usual look and his smile.

"Simon"

"June i-."

"Let me speak for once." He looks at me confused, "I'm proud of you, Simon. Because I'm sure there's more to what you've done than just stupid news."

"I-."

"Shut up, Simon. No one notices, but I do. I see what you do. How you do it. I see in you all that is good in this damned world. And I can't stand everyone looking at you badly, pushing you, treating you like a monster. You're not. You're the opposite of a monster."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

Had no one ever pointed this out to him?

Had no one told him he wasn't the monster?

"June..."

"You don't have to tell me anything, Simon."

"But yes. I want to talk to you, go out with you, hold your hand, invite you to my house whenever I want, swoop into your house during the night even though I know I'll have to climb to get to your window." He says, nailing me with a look.

I can't help but smile at him.

"no, the windows in my house are so comfortable as a passage. I prefer them to the doors."

"I think your window will have to get used to me."

"I think you ought to get used to my window, for I won't cut you off."

He smiles at me and our smile is worth a thousand words.

It's just the two of us.

Simon and I against the world.