Loving the Fallen

Chapter twenty six: emotions

Eren's point of view

The most beautiful thing was happening at my feet.

Laying there in defeat, bloodied up wherever possible, and close to death was none other than the cocky wrench himself.

"Come on, Jakob. You can do better than this. What happened to all the audacity you've been showing these last few days." I laughed loudly, watching as his bloody fist wrapped around a small patch of grass. He groaned in pain, turning his head to spit out blood.

My smile faded and my gaze hardened as I looked down at him, "You should really hope that Orion finds Laelynn, or else this will end very badly for you."

Jakob coughed one more time before weakly lifting his head to look at me. "My lord, I have no words to describe how sorry I am." He managed to speak out.

"There is a number of things to be punished for. Kidnapping, illegal human trade, stealing, and disrespect to your lord. Surely, the list continues beyond the surface." I mentioned, stepping closer to him. I fell on one knee, and grabbed a handful of his hair. The groans I heard were like music to me ears.

"So tell me, Jakob. What exactly are you sorry for?"

Jakob closed his eyes, thinking about his answer. "I'm sorry for disrespecting you, Lord Ries."

"I'm not sorry for what I'm about to do to you." I stated, letting go of him. I got up and moved back, focusing my eyes on Jakob.

"Please, I didn't mean to." He said quickly, realizing what I was about to do. As I looked at him, I suddenly thought of Laelyn and how she was right now. A part of me wanted to drop everything I was doing and run after her, but that was an irrational thought.

I don't usually have irrational thoughts.

My eyes snapped to Jakob, and I scowled. "Did you just use your gift on me?" I asked him angrily. No one was allowed to use their gifts on me, not unless I had requested it.

His whole body tensed, and I locked in on him. Channeling my thoughts on h , and the idea of him feeling excruciating pain, I unleashed my gift upon him. Jakob screamed as he felt it, his body convulsing on the floor. I grinned, enjoying this a lot more than I would have liked to admit.

"Eren!" I heard Orion's voice behind me. I quickly snapped out of it, turning to look at him. He made his way to me, a limp human in his arms. This one had reddish hair, clearly being his pet.

I frown , and looked around Orion. Laelynn was not with him.

"Where the hell..." I trailed off, my eyes widening as realization dawned upon me. "You lost her." I said, looking at Orion. His milky eyes saddened, and he looked down in guilt.

No, he didn't lose her.

"We lost her." I said again, this time softly. My eyes burned, and my heart might as well have caught flames. I spun around and looked at Jakob with hatred, using my gift on him again.

"Where the hell is she?!" I snapped at him, watching as he continued shaking on the ground. He continued screaming, only fuelling my rage.

"You're screaming? What the hell do you think is happening to my Laelynn right now? What if she's screaming?" I asked him angrily. My gift wasn't satisfying me enough. I had to use my hands for this one.

I stomped over to him, once again grabbing his hair. One punch at him sent his head turning the other way.

"Eren!" Orion shouted behind me. I gnored him, delivering more blows to his face. I wanted to rearrange his organs. I wanted his eyes on his chin and his lips on his forehead. I needed him unrecognizable.

I needed him dead.

"Dammit, Eren! Stop!" Orion yanked me back, making me drag Jakob by his hair. He reached for me and pried my hand off him. "Stop it! You can't kill him yet."

I glared at Orion. "And why the hell not?"

"We have no idea where Laelynn is. He's the only one who can lead us to her. He's the one who deals closely with vampires."

I looked at Jakob, who collapsed on the ground. My eyes started burning again, and I felt my vision getting blurry. I was frustrated and especially angry. I was angry at Jakob, at Laelynn, at Orion. He kidnapped and sold her, and she left right after making me think that she wanted me. He failed to get her back in time.

I was especially mad at myself. I drove her away in the first place.

My shoulders slumped, and my heart felt heavy. Orion patted my shoulder comfortingly, just like he always did. That seemed to be our dynamic. I was emotional and always temperamental. He was the calm in my storm, the one that bought me down to earth.

"I think you should head to bed. I'll deal with this whole thing." He said to me, giving me a smile that was as bad as Jakob. It made me realize that Orion barely frowned. Did he not feel anger or sadness? Why was he always so calm? Why did this not affect him as much as it did me?

Maybe I was overly emotional.

That's probably why it felt like I wasn't there for him as much as he was there for me. He never gave me the chance to be because he never felt negative emotions.

He was just that strong.

I nodded at him, deciding that bed was the best option for now. I needed energy to start my search for Laelynn, and my gift consumed a large amount of my strength. I turned around and walked to the door, stepping inside the castle. I wasn't sure why, but I felt the need to stop.

So I did.

I stood by the door, keeping my eyes closed as I listened to Orion. After a few minutes of not hearing anything, I concluded that I was being ridiculous to be eavesdropping on him. He could probably tell that I was still here. Maybe that's why he never made a move to do anything. Besides, this is the strongest male I've ever met. He had a heart and mind of steel. This situation wasn't enough to even make him blink.

I pushed myself off the wall and prepared to leave, but that was when I heard it. It was soft but hard to miss. I quickly moved outside, and then I saw it.

My feet carried me, and I ran as fast as I could to him. Orion was always there for me when I needed him, but it always felt like I never did the same. He had a thick shell that covered his emotions, even though it seemed like I was the more stone cold one.

Never did I imagine that I would see this again.

Orion was on his knees, his hands covering his face. But I could hear him. He was crying, and he was trying to hide it. From everyone. From me. His own family.

I kneeled next to him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. His body shook under my own, and his loud sobbing made my own tears threaten to fall. It killed me inside that he was feeling this way, but what killed me the most was that I didn't know why he was feeling that way.

Was it because of Laelynn? Was it because of the past? Did he blame himself for everything that happened?

I didn't know what to say, I didn't even know what to do.

All I could say was this. "It's not your fault."

He cried harder.

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