Gentle touch

Sink or swallow

The pair got on with their drawings, Alexa picked up one of the pink colouring pencils. "They'll really like it y'know." The woman eventually said, "yeah I know." Alexa nodded.

After this, the pair had continued in silence, Elise looking over at Alexa's card every once and a while. The girl eventually looked over at the redhead's, recognising the drawing on the page. "I know you love the thing so." Elise shrugged, noticing the girl's staring. She held up the piece of paper, a drawing of what she assumed to be Chase on it.

"I've always been an excellent gift giver." She praised herself, "how do you know?" Alexa questioned her previous statement. "I saw a picture of you with it." Elise replied honestly, Alexa felt a sense of mortification, wondering what Elise had seen.

Elise seemed to pick up on the girl's horrified expression, "nothing bad, it was just you hugging the thing in your sleep." She reassured, but the answer offered little comfort.

~~

The card had been loved of course, the girl had sheepishly given it to the women, feeling slightly embarrassed at all the praise. A part of her felt guilty for making the card, because she knew the way it would make them happy, and that's why she had done it, not because she wanted to make it.

Her past discovery lingered on her mind, but she didn't know how to bring it up, or if she even wanted to bring it up- so she didn't.

Looking down at her dinner, she found that she didn't have much of an appetite. "You're supposed to pick up your fork, instead of staring at it sweetie." Lottie teased, peering at the girl who had just been zoning out. "i'm full." Alexa told her, already bracing herself for the disapproving looks.

"It's your favourite though." Lottie attempted, "mama I've tried." The girl reasoned. To her merit, she had tried, finishing over half of the dish. "It's okay, love." Daisy interceded, "no, she needs to eat a little more, Elise said that she barely ate lunch." Lottie said. Alexa was surprised at the disagreement, it was the first time that she'd ever witnessed the woman not being in sync.

Alexa looked at Daisy, seeing if she would further disagree, she kept silent however. The girl picked up the fork, stabbing a piece of pasta. She begrudgingly ate it, purposefully chewing slowly.

"Can I be finished now mama?" Alexa questioned, she noted how whiny her voice sounded, but she really didn't wanna eat anymore. "Nice try sweetie, I want at least half of what's left being finished." Lottie instructed, Alexa looked at Daisy for help, "you heard what she said." The brunette said.

The girl was feeling rather angry, and maybe it was the fact that she didn't know how to feel about her recent discovery, but it was easy to be mad over the current situation. "I told you I'm full, I shouldn't have to eat when I'm full." She argued, "you've had no issues finishing that portion size before." Lottie pointed out, "but I'm full this time!" Alexa spat out.

She received a warning look from Daisy, but that didn't deter her. "You guys are just so mean! You stop eating when you're full, you're hypocrites!".

The blonde sighed, standing up from the table. She took the fork off the girl, "Alexa, I know you're probably feeling a lot of big feelings right now but it's dinner time." Lottie spoke, presenting pasta to the girls mouth. "I hate you." That had become a favourable statement of Alexa's, using it as a weapon everytime the women annoyed her.

"And you can hate me after you've finished your dinner, but I suggest you don't make your punishment worse for yourself."

That had been enough to remind the girl of her situation, and the lack of power she held, so she opened her mouth. Alexa was a little mad at herself, of all the battles she could've picked, she chose pasta to be punished over.

Every bite felt more painfully dragged out than the last, the women offered no conversation to take up the time. It made their stares even more impactful, because it was the only thing she could focus on.

Alexa waited for another forkful of food to come, but it never came. She looked down to see a finished plate, and she felt an inkling of dread at the punishment. Alexa wasn't afraid of it being bad, but it was just a tiring ordeal, and it left her too much time to think alone. It also reminded her of her lack of autonomy, even her thoughts were becoming overruled.

She found herself in the familiar corner, "fifteen minutes." Lottie told her, Alexa dared to turn back. "I don't actually hate you." She whispered- embarrassed, Lottie gave a small smile, "I know Lexie."

~~

Alexa was in Lottie's lap, sleepily leaning against her, Lottie gently forced the girl to sit up. "Can we talk for a minute, sweetie?" Lottie enquired, Alexa nodded, attempting to lean back against the woman. The blonde kept the girl upright, "I need you to be a big girl for this conversation, and I need you to be awake." Lottie said, this piked the girls interest.

She rubbed her eyes, sitting up straight. "So you were dealing with some pretty big feelings today hm?" Lottie made the girl blush, Alexa didn't want any part in whatever way that this conversation was doing. "You know you can talk to me or mama about anything going on in that head of yours, even if you think it'll make us sad, we're here for you."

Hiding her face in her hands, she nodded, Lottie gently moved the girls hands, leaving her face on display. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about love."

After the women had returned home, Elise had pulled her friend to the side, confiding in her about her worries about the girl.

"If anything happened today that you wanna talk about, I'm here to listen." Alexa paused for a moment, briefly worrying that Elise had seen the girl finding the program. The girl forced herself to stay calm, swallowing thickly.

Then it dawned on her, she was talking about the bathroom situation. "I'm fine." Alexa said, they all seemed to be making this a much bigger dealer than it actually was, or at least what she thought it was. "Before I was your mama, I was a doctor for people's feelings." Lottie told her, Alexa almost wanted to laugh at the newfound discovery.

The irony of it all.

"A psychologist?" Alexa asked, "close, a psychiatrist, just like my dad was." Lottie's lips turned upright, a smile playing on her lips at the latter part of her statement. "Well I'm fine." Alexa restated, she would never take advice from the woman, nor would she honestly confide in her.

"If you wanna say anything right now, you won't be punished for it, and it can just be between us two." Lottie comforted, Alexa shook her head "mama I wanna go to bed, I'm sleepy." Alexa complained.

This would've been a perfect time to confess what she had found earlier, to ask about what she had seen, yet she couldn't muster up the courage to do so. Nor was she about to talk about the thoughts she had been overtaken with earlier, there was nothing to talk about, or at least she thought. The girl wanted to go back to being blissfully ignorant.

She wanted to be the person in the cave, in plato's terms. She'd rather be a satisfied fool, than dissatisfied person. It was easier to be happy and lacking, than to be knowing and upset.

Alexa leaned against Lottie as she had been doing earlier, "can we go back over the chapter that mommy did last night? I fell asleep whilst she was reading." Alexa questioned, looking over at the copy of Alice and Wonderland that sat beside Lottie.