Sands of Time

Journal- August 1, 1866

The days feel that they are passing faster than usual. Every waking moment that I don't have to be at the manor with Mama, I spend with Landon.

The moments that I am at the manor are spent avoiding Toad. A new nickname I came up with for Mr. Jeffery. The name fits him perfectly.  Day after day, I feel the heat of his stare, and refuse to acknowledge his presence.

I know he's waiting for his opportunity, but I will not give him one. I do not know why he is so fixated on me.

I realize I know nothing of this man nor do I wish to, but I am ignorant about him, and that is dangerous. I approached Mama in an empty room we were cleaning, and asked her, "Why is there not a lady of the house, why is there no Mrs. Jeffery?"

Mamma's voice gets all serious and she whispers," Well there's always gossip around the kitchen, and I heard that when he was a young man he fell in love with a woman who's beauty was not equal with her manner or virtue!"

Mama proceeds in her tale about the county's belle. Her name was Maria. I'm told, her hair was the darkest shade of ebony and her eyes sparkled like sapphires. Mr. Jeffrey in his youth, was not like he is now. He was carefree, and a bit of a pushover. Maria's love for Mr. Jeffrey extended to his wealth only.

He was infatuated with her, completely clueless of the deceit and heartlessness of her. He loved her more than an anything else, and against the advisement of his parents he proposed engagement to Miss Maria.

So in love was Mr. Jeffrey with Maria, That he was called a fool behind his back. Where ever they went, Maria cost him a fortune. She belittled him in public, and mocked him to his peers. His devotion to her made him blind, and numb to this for he was smitten with her beauty.

Mr. Jeffrey was supposed to be out of town grabbing the finest silks, and supplies for their wedding. In his excitement to be reunited with his love, he left a day early. Unfortunately for Maria, she was not alone in her bedchamber, when Mr . Jeffrey decide to pay her a unannounced visit!

One of Mr. Jeffery's closest mates, named Albert, was with the immoral Maria. In a jealous fit of rage at the betrayal of his friend, and love together, he challenged Albert to a duel. Albert groveled and begged Mr. Jeffrey for forgiveness, but for all his pleading he was unheard. Unmoved by the tears, and sniveling of both Maria and Albert , Mr Jeffery set a time for the duel.

Given no other choice , Albert met Mr. Jeffrey the next morning at dawn. With the air still crisp and the sun not fully raised, gun smoke lifted from the defeated Albert. Maria weeping as a cast off, and no longer engaged to Mr. Jeffrey, she was now the town's harlot. Maria's reputation now slanted, she was no longer allowed in polite society. Her vanity could not handle being despised, so she drank a cocktail of arsenic and ended her life.

No longer the naive, lighthearted youth, He made a vow to be never mistaken for a fool. Resentment and hate began to fester. It went deep in his soul.

Mama went onto say, "Some men are just bad, some are born that way, and some are made that way."

I just nodded my head. I was deep in thought. I felt sympathy , I guess that is what you would call my feelings for him in that moment. Part of me no longer resented him so much, but there was still fear.

Fear of the unknown, fear of what he wanted from me, fear of what he expected of me.

Speaking of gossip Mama continued, " There has been talk of a thief at the Manor!" Many thing have gone missing. Just small trinkets, and silverware, some supplies and jewelry. I have no idea who would steal from Mr. Jeffery. He is frightful, who ever did this must be a fool indeed, and have a death wish. I hope who ever is responsible does not do it again or they might find them selves with grave misfortune.

My Coyote and I are unbreakable. I am finding a steady beat to pass the day. time stands still for me when I find myself in his arms. Our hearts are in unison, and continue on the same beat. My happiness is apparent, and Mama and Papa have taken notice. I have seen there gaze follow and stay on my Coyote. I fear not. He is my mate, my Parent will realize this soon enough.

I wish I could stop their unease. Their worrisome expression puts a small damper on my mood. I believe this is why I had a frightful dream the other night.

I lay in bed unable to move, when I start to hear the cries of an animal. Deep meaningful howls filled the air. I run out side barefoot in the cold. I try running towards the sound to no avail. I hear whimpering. I turn fast in a circle. Searching for the source of the heartbreaking cries. A threatening growl startles me, and I trip forward. Having fallen on my hands and knees, I try to get up. I push forward and slip again. I lift my hands and look at my them. They are covered in blood. I wipe them on my nightgown as the sound of a loud mournful howl starts up again. I scream out in frustration, and fear. This wakes me from the nightmare.

The silence of the night was defying. The sorrowful cries still echoing in my ears. Goosebumps ran down along me, and an unshakable feeling of dread filled my heart.

- Petra