The Strays

E z r a

"Can I be sad when I am well? Can I be entirely well if I pick at every insecurity and flaw? Oh my, how can I be, when I am only trying to convince myself I am; to be well is not to wonder if one, in fact, is."

- Ezra Gates;

Ezra hadn't stopped driving ever since she left Kie's embrace.

Sunset was approaching and soon 'The Strays' would soon meet. Ezra would have to turn back.

With no destination in mind, Ezra found herself back at Heaven- their Heaven on Earth. She parked the car overlooking the valley, the music quiet in the background.

It was a place for them all; one of serenity and beauty. But for Ezra and the one her heart ached and bled for today, especially, it was a place of refuge, one of security.

Ezra felt drained, or perhaps numb. That was a problem for Ezra, she never truly understood her feelings. At times she would be melodramatic and overanalyze, but more times than not, she would invalidate her feelings- just like she was taught to.

Her parents loved her dearly and immeasurably and she knew that. She knew everything they did was for her; her benefit, her future, her life. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, in their eyes, wealth drowns out any emotion bar happiness; for any other emotion would indicate a lack of gratitude.

Ezra's mother was once a middle-class worker. She had a comfortable childhood and her family never encountered financial issues- because they're financially smart. She grew up with money whilst knowing the value of it.

But Ezra's father, and his father, grew up with nothing. An African- American family on the wrong side of the tracks. Ezra's father saw and experienced many things; most of which he does not speak of. But he worked hard and he was the first in his family to go to college. Then he worked even harder, and he never stopped, for he promised his sick father he would soon be able to afford his medication.

He saved most of the money he earned.

He got promoted and so he saved even more.

And then he returned home with the money-

Ezra's grandfather died from Pneumonia.

Never rich and once before poor, Ezra's parents were the happiest they'd been. They found a love many searched high and low for, and together they built a stable, grand life. Her parents were extremely successful; in every aspect.

When Ezra looked around she saw true problems; physical problems-

Zion's mother is sick.

Kie's mother left and her father is too ill.

And when looks at herself, her life carries sunlight, always bringing rainbow light, yet she was born to rain clouds-

"But Ezra, don't you know?" Ezra's eyebrows arched. "Rainbows cannot be made without rain."

"What's your point?" Ezra questioned, irritation heating the blood through her veins.

He was the person who understood her more than anyone ever could; more than anyone ever wished to. He listened. He helped. He guided. But sometimes Ezra only needed someone to hear her. But he loved her dearly, and he saw her clearly. He knew one day, she would become the woman she was born to be. He just needed her to see it. He never wished to minimise her turmoils, he only wanted her to see her own beauty and power. He wanted her to see the reason behind every mountain, step by step.

He turned to her, facing away from the valley beneath them.

"Rainbows are made by the sun and by rain. By beauty and pain. Your life isn't sunshine and rainbows- your family is the sun and you, my falling angel, are beneath the cloud of rain. But together, you are a rainbow. There is a lesson or more so, perhaps a reason, you are trapped there Ezra-"

"Oh my God! No!" Ezra snapped, the irritation now flowing from her mouth. "What on Earth do I have to learn? I am not selfish or ungrateful, in fact, if I could, I'd save the world. The only rational conclusion I have for feeling like an alien in my own body and my mind being my own worst enemy is, I must've done something awful in my past life."

He chuckled. His lips pressed into a line.

"You're strong Ezra, these dark days-"

"Years." Ezra corrected.

"These dark times," Ezra's eyebrows furrowed, but she remained unspoken. "They will prove it to you. They will prove you are strong. And I agree, you have no lesson to learn. But perhaps there is something you need to gain."

His hand gently placed on her shoulder, their eyes meeting.

"Ezra, you will make it through, I assure you. Just keep fighting and talking."

Like a smooth transition, from her memory to the present the view before looked the same as it did that day; only he was not there beside her.

Ezra continued to fight. But she had not spoken in a while- not truly, not really.

Memories continued to crowd her mind.

And regret.

Her head rested on the steering wheel as she watched the orange glow cast over the mountains.

He was beautiful.

He always called 'The Strays,' beautiful, but he was too.

'The Strays,' were one-

One heart.

One mind.

One place.

And indeed they were beautiful.

But so was he; and Ezra knew, in that moment, he made them beautiful.

There's beauty in pain and pain in beauty, so all around,

Ezra was beautiful too.