Without You

III

His head pounding as soon as he opened his eyes and his felt yesterday's scotch hit him like a truck. He immediately sat up, and rushed into the bathroom, bending over the toilet. It didn't take him long to rinse out his mouth and pull on the clothes on the floor. He was dressed within the minute and he fixed his hair before pulling on his jacket.
He grabbed his phone from inside its pocket and sighed as he looked at the 10 missed calls from his wife.

He looked up, looking at the most beautiful woman in the bed. Her gorgeous hair was sprawled over the sheets and his stomach felt like it would turn over. Her small body was covered mostly by the sheets, small parts of her exposed. Her hip... The small of her back, her thigh. He wanted to go back to bed, wake up with her again, but when his phone started to ring, he couldn't stay. He couldn't wake her up, he couldn't face her.

He shut the door behind him and felt himself beginning to breathe hard. By the time he got to the elevator, there were tears in his eyes.

He walked himself to work and changed into scrubs before getting to work, distracting himself from it, from her. He didn't see his wife come in as he examined someone in the pit a few hours later.

"Where were you last night?" Her voice outspoke other interns and he ignored her as he ran a pen light into the patient's eyes. "Derek! Listen to me."

"My car Addie." He spat back, not wanting to start a fight in front of the interns.

"I called you. 50 Times, No answer." She said.
"I left my phone in my office. It's still there." He sighed.
"Get a CT and put him on 10 CC's of penicillin." He said.

An intern stepped forward and when he looked up to see who was leaving and his breath caught in his throat. Addison didn't miss his eyes gazing at the girl while Meredith left the room with interns eying the body.

"What the hell was that?" She asks as the door shut.
"What was what?" Derek asked, taking off the gloves.
"You looked at her like a piece of candy." Addison said.
"Excuse me?" He spat back.

"Meredith, Derek. You looked at Meredith like you were a lost puppy who needed to have his bone." Addison said.

"I saw the way you looked at her!" Addison yelled.
"I am not having this conversation." He shouted as he lifted the lid of the medical waste bin, tossing his gloves inside.
"Just tell me the truth." Addison said.
"The truth is that I am going home." Derek spat.

He slammed the door to the trauma room and walked to his office, grabbing his jacket. He had drive home before Addison could have chased him but that didn't matter to Meredith, who in the following weeks would become nearly catatonic.

The Next Week

She was doing rounds when she felt a presence behind her. It had been her turn to cover the most awful shift in the OR wing. Midnight to Noon. It was only three hours into her shift, filled with changing draining tubes and checking in with patients, and sending family members home. The OR floor was empty and the nurse on call had not shown up, so she was alone. Except for the breath running down her neck.

"Meredith." His voice was a whisper at first, and then when he repeated her name, he was more confident, more apologetic and relaxed. "Meredith..."

"Dr. Shepherd." She said quietly as they both leaned on the nurse's desk, "I didn't think you were still here."

"I just got in early to work on some files." He said, holding out a coffee. She took it gratefully and even thought he was smiling. Was he glad to see her? They hadn't spoken to each other since that night at the hotel and all she had been doing was throwing herself into work.

"Files... that's what I plan on doing." She said with a light laughter that made his heart flutter in his rib cage.

"Still no surgeries, huh?" He asked.
"Not even a boring one." She sighed.

"Come on," He whispered, leaning into her ear.
"Where are we going?" She laughed.

He had grabbed her hand and they were running down the hall, into an elevator. He let go to click the button for the ICU on the next floor and she was smiling wide while she leaned against him, out of breath.

"I have this friend of mine, a patient. Chronic pain, so bad that he can't even sleep." He said, helping her stand steady. His hands rested on her shoulders and he smiled as the elevator shook. His hands moved against her cheeks and his feet shifted closer to hers. Their eyes were locked, crinkled at the corners as they laughed against each other. Time slowed with her and he felt her hands rest on his torso.

Their noses were pressed and their laughter turned into to heavy breathing. His eyes softened and her eyes were staring into his. He tucked her hair behind her ears as he smelt the flowers in her hair.

"What's wrong with him?" She asked, nervously.
"Compressed nerve on his occipital lobe." He nods.

"Sounds awful." She bit her lip and nodded. Her hands pulled off his body. He let go of her face and smiled, but their foreheads stayed resting against each other.

"Do the surgery with me." He smiled.
"There are no nurses." She laughed at him.
"I don't need nurses. Just you." He grinned.
"Isn't that illegal?" She asked.
"That's what makes it so exciting." He chuckled.

She sighed and thought about what it could do to her career. If they were caught... it would mean they would get fired. But she hadn't seen the inside of an OR in weeks.

"You're thinking so hard your eyebrows are crinkling." He laughed as she rolled her eyes and nodded. He smiled seeing her nod. "You'll do it?"

"I'll do it." She nodded as the elevator opened. "But exactly what surgery is it?"

"An Anterior Cervical Discectomy." He said as they walked beside each other. "We will go in from an anterior position and snip the ligament attaching his cervical disks to his uvula."

"We are fixing his spine from his throat?" She asked, excitement making her hands shake.

"That would be me." A computer voice echoed from a room. She sped into the room and smiled at the patient.

"Hi, Dr. Sherman." Derek smiled, walking in and shaking his hand, "How's the pain?"

"9.6, like always." The computer replied as the man clicked some buttons before turning his attention to Meredith. "Do you remember me?"

"Excuse me?" She asked, confused for a moment.
"You two know each other?" Derek asked, confused.
"I don't think we have met before." She shook her head.

The man started to type something into the computer and Meredith and Derek looked at each other, utterly confused.

"Meredith Grey is the one student to ever pass out of my Calculus class." The computer announced as Derek smiled, looking at her.

"Oh." Her cheeks turned red, "It was so long ago..."
"Well, Dr. Sherman here helped me pass his class." Derek smiled.

"You've been prepped for surgery for a while, so we will just take you in now." Meredith smiled as the man nodded.

Derek disconnected the computer and stepped out of room. Meredith followed him and walked down the hall which was still empty.

"He's talking from a computer, Derek. A computer!" She almost exploded, but instead she threw herself into his arms. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said, muffled in her hair. This moment was my perfect, and she was standing on his feet, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He lifted her effortlessly and grinned. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest and he closed his eyes, enjoying the moment of comfort she gave him.