Yours Truly ( Ishman )

Emotional Turmoil

Ishan looks himself in the mirror and reminds himself again and again that he has moved on. Mere presence of someone is not going to crash his determination. There is nothing to look forward to ,nothing to held onto. Infact , he has to go back to that phase of his life where he was just friends with Shubman. Even though his heart and mind is against it,he must go back to that phase. He splashes waters on his face and looks in mirror for one last time before boarding the plane for Mumbai.
While Ishan makes himself comfortable on his seat and tries to sleep to avoid thinking about certain someone. But it's never easy. You cannot just erase the memories, the laughter,the warmth, the shared giggles . You can just try to live without them. Memories of their shared laughter, comfortable silences , walk to beaches does something to his heart and his mind goes back to July 2016 when he first saw Shubman. He was confused and lost and was asking people about something. Ishan was watching him from distance amused. He walked towards Shubman and asked about his distress.Shubman told him that he is new to the college and have to submit his fees for the semester. Ishan offered him his help and led him towards the administrative block. He got to know that Shubman has got admission through sports quota and was former captain of Punjab State Cricket team. They exchanged numbers and Ishan told Shubman that he can reach out to him for anything.
Shubman was done with his work and was finally relaxed that he didn't miss this golden opportunity of getting admission to the college which provides best facilities to students who wants to pursue their carrier in sports. He dreams of representing Team India in international cricket. This admission meant that he was one step closer to his dream. He was going to back to his dorm when he noticed that one senior was surrounded with lots of student. He must be popular, Subhman thought. He heard one girl calling his name " Ishan" . Ishan , he murmured and went towards his dorm .
Ishan and Shubman didn't engage much as Ishan was one year senior to Shubman . They had their classes, assignments, practice and intercollege matches occasionally. Whenever they met on field,it was cricket and how to improve ourselves. Their relationship took a turn. They were not seniors and juniors anymore . They were friends,they were teammates. They were representing India A in domestic cricket. Ishan was wicket keeper batsman and he was exceptional in that.Shubman was batsman and he has some amazing records in domestic cricket at very young age. They become each other safe place. If one has to know about Subhman whereabouts they can always ask Ishan and they will have their answer and vice versa.
Everything was going smoothly in their life. Shubman moved in with Ishan as his roommate left for hometown. Ishan took one year diploma in some random course so that he can leave college with Shubman but world doesn't have to know about that. It's them. Always together. Sticking through thick and thin. Academic year was ending and Subhman was about to graduate when something unexpected happened. Selectors from BCCI and members of IPL governing council visited their college. Their coach reminded them that this can be golden opportunity for them as they can be selected for IPL teams. Both Ishan and Shubman performed well. They were happy with their performances. Moments before graduation, they got to know from thier coach that IPL governing council has enquired about them and there is high chance that they might play this years IPl . Both were so happy. In comfort of their room, Ishan asked Subhman, What now Subhi ?Shubman has no idea, he don't know how to live without Ishan anymore. He is not even aware about his own habits. He takes a moment to think about all the possible replies and looks at his Ish ,his Ish . He hugs Ishan so tightly like he is afraid that he will drift away somewhere. He is afraid about everything life is gonna offer them . He just wish Ishan is there with him.
Ishan melts into the hug, he doesn't know what he is gonna do without his Subh. He is habitual of seeing Shub face first thing in the morning. He is habitual of cuddling him to sleep , he is habitual of Shub taking care of him. He is habitual of everything about Shub . He don't know what is life gonna offer them. He just wish Shub is there with him. They let go of each other and starts packing their stuff . In the evening , they are leaving for their respective hometown.
After one month , there is IPL auction and this will decide what future has in store for them. Finally the D-day comes , Ishan is on video call with Shubman , they are nervous. They give each other assurance that everything will turn out for good . Ishan gets picked up for Mumbai Indians and Shubman gets picked up by Kolkata Knight riders. They are happy, they are showering each other with praises and how they are proud pf each other achievements. Ishan teases Shubman that his team will lose and Mumbai is gonna win the title of IPL 2020. Subh teases him back and they continue their video chat. Out of nowhere, Ishan says , I miss u Subh and I can't wait to see you.Shubman goes silent for a min, he is happy to hear that but Ishan doesn't have to know about that. He finally replies, Oh God, here comes our dramatic Ishu . I miss you too. We'll meet during IPL camp. They talk for few more minutes and finally say goodbye to each other.
Ishan is on cloud nine, he is finally going to see Shub after graduation. He is gonna hold him, he is gonna annoy the hell out of Shub. He is happy, his heart is happy, he is dancing , he is singing . He just can't wait but he have to and it's just torturous on Ishan's part.
IPL is gonna start from 19th of September but on 16th , there will be grand opening ceremony and each and every player is excited. This is gonna be fun. Ishan can't hold his excitement. He couldn't sleep but he is not tired at all . He is glowing. He is checking his watch every two minutes hoping that time will run fast if he keeps doing that ( oh silly Ishan) . He orders room service, paratha and lassi (Shub' s fav). He takes his time with shower and starts to get ready for the evening. He dresses up in the outfit he bought particularly for this evening. He can't wait to see Shubman' s reaction. He applies cologne , puts on his shoes and leaves for the venue. He enters the stadium and spots many emerging and senior playes . He spots Mayank, Rishabh, Abhishek , Rohit, Virat,Surya, Dhoni , Sachin Sir etc but where is the one he is waiting for. He goes to his franchise and they welcome him. Ceremony is about to start and team KKR is nowhere in sight. He starts scrolling his Insta, he is not interested. He texts Shub , nothing comes is response. He is getting anxious. Jacqueline and Anushka are performing. And only one thing is running in his mind , Where is he?
Ishan goes towards bar and snacks area. He orders himself a drink and starts munching on snacks. I can't believe you're eating without me. Here i thought, i' ll finally eat properly with you by my-side. Ishan world goes silent for a moment, he could recognise this voice even in his sleep . He gathers himself and looks at Shubman , after months . His breathe hitched .Shub looks pretty as always. He looks skinny . His dimples( those damn dimples) full on display . He realised he is zoning out . He speaks, what took you so long? Shub takes the sit beside him and says , we are meeting after months and this is the first thing you ask. Were you waiting for me? Ishan doesn't say anything . And it's happening with him a lot lately. He doesn't have answers of so many questions. But he keeps those thought aside and says...Ohh please , stop being delusional, why will i even wait for you? But his heart will say otherwise.Shub without further delay hugs Ishan and says you talk too much. Ishan hugs him back and they just stay like that for a moment, , reminiscing their moment in thier shared apartment.Shubman says , You look beautiful today , Ohh God Ishu, I missed you so much and sniifs ishans hair and why ? He doesn't know that. Ishan is happy and Shub doesn't have to know that.
Now they are with their respective teams, enjoying the ceremony. Taking tips from senior and trying to start new friendships with teammates and stealing glances of each other here and there. Ishan engages himself with annoying but rather a cheerful personality named Mayank . Mayank reminds Ishan about first year
Shubman. They chat , jokes and Ishan finds himself laughing and enjoying Mayank's company. Nothing in this life is a coincidence, we meet people for reasons. They are here either to create void or to feel the void. Ishan looks at Mayank and thinks let's see what role you are going to play.
Ceremony ends and everyone is in hall for dinner. There is calmness in the surrounding and it is too good to be true. As the saying goes " The calm before the storm" . Ishan is being pulled out by his thoughts when someone sits beside him and there he is , man who is Ishan's home ,Shubman Gill. They enjoy their food silently, Ishan offers some dishes to Shubman ( he picked thinking Shub will like it). The thing about Ishman is that they are chaotic but silent at the same time. This silence doesn't haunt them, this is the comfort. This js what Ishan has been missing since graduation. The comfortable silence and warmth of his Shub. After a while,
Shubman speaks, Ish. Ishan hums a response and Shubman continues, Did u see Sachin's sir daughter? Ishan nods no in response and asks, What about her? Shub speaks, She is so pretty. We chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. I am intrigued about her. Let's see how it unfolds. Ishan's heart felt a pang of pain in his heart . He felt that he has lost something which was never his to begin with. Suddenly he had all the answers. The anxiety he felt when he couldn't find Shub in the crowd, the excitement he had after meeting him, the desperation to meet him, to hold him. How couldn't he sleep without Shub's presence and how wearing his hoodies or t-shirt made it easy for him. Ishan realises, this is not friendship anymore for him. The mere thought of Shub being intrigued by Sara and them talking is doing something to his heart. He looks at Shub and realises that this man right here is love of my life. I am in love with my best friend. I love Shubman Gill.
Fate is cruel thing and it plays it cards when we least except it . Ishan world turned upside down and the person whose mere presence made everything perfect is the one whom Ishan avoids nowadays.A tear rolls down his eyes and he stirs when pilot announces that we have reached Mumbai airport at 10: 00 am and weather here is pleasant with little showers of rain expected in the noon. Ishan thinks just few more hours and everything will go back as usual.Shubman will be beside me and i'll be there with him as his friend,just friend.

Hello... beautiful people,
I don't know if anyone is going to read this but i hope it reaches out to more people.
This is my first story and i' m going to complete it as soon as possible but it will make me happy if it will reach out to all the ishman shippers in the wattpad world. Thank you.