Crossed Fates

Chapter 20: Stupidity

Luke: "Alright guys, tootaloo!"

Tezuka: "Adios, my friends."

Luke and Tezuka leave the inn. They go onto the pavement.

Luke: "So! Tezuka! Sorry it just happened to be me and you today."

Tezuka: "It's okay."

Luke: "Yeah, Toby's still out somewhere, Luna's busy, Liv's training, and Tyler's arm is broken. Ouch. I wonder how Rin managed to keep his arm moving for so long."

Tezuka: "Maybe Rin is a super powerful alien that fused with Tyler in order to save the world... or something. I dunno, did she say she was a symbiote or something?"

Luke: "I dunno, maybe. Unlucky for him, though! Ohoho!"

Tezuka: "You think? I'd love to have a symbiote in me. Fighting for me."

Luke: "Seriously? That would be horrifying! Imagine! Oh, the horror. Having someone living inside MY  body! Like, excuse me, loser! Get out of my perfect, sexy body!"

Tezuka: "...Yeah."

Luke: "Oh, oh yeah. Like, how did I get so lucky, being born? Like, God must've made me in HIS image. With Jesus, his pencil must've accidentally slipped, and that's why he has a beard. Like, wow. I can bless things, much better than God could. Like holy guacamole. Aren't I just perfect, Tezuka? Aren't I? You don't need to answer that. Cause I know I am. I'm just the perfect life form ever. I don't lose. I experience. I experience and become stronger every single day. Even Satan fears having to confront the almighty Luke some day."

Tezuka: "......yeah."

Luke: "Yeah! Satan? He bad. He a real bad guy. He's seriously bad. Like, why was he made, if he's just going to be so, so bad? If the world is meant to be free from sin, why is he the ultimate sinner? Why is he so-"

Tezuka: "Yeesh, I've heard enough."

Luke: "Sorry."

Tezuka: "The only perfect thing about you is how incredibly stupid you are."

Luke: "Aha! I am perfect at something!"

Tezuka just stares at him for a very long time. They say nothing to each other. It's awkward. But that's to be expected of Tezuka. She eventually grins at him though.

Tezuka: "So... why did you call for this hangout session?"

Luke: "Well, I was going shopping, and I needed some extra arms to-"

Tezuka: "I'm out, then."

Luke: "Huh?"

Tezuka: "I can't help, sorry."

Luke: "What?! Why not?"

Tezuka: "...Isn't it obvious?"

Luke: "Oh yeah! I forgot you're lazy, and can't do anything!"

Tezuka: "My! You are incredibly stupid!"

Luke: "What?"

He looks at Tezuka. He then remembers, and facepalms.

Luke: "Oh yeah... Well... uh, why don't you control the fire on you to make some arms and hands, then?"

Tezuka: "Huh. Why didn't I think of that?"

Luke: "Hah! I'm smarter than you think."

Tezuka: "Well, here's the difference between you and me. You think, and you think stupidly. I don't think, because I don't need to."

Luke: "Well, that's where you're wrong. Not thinking isn't actually a thing. If you don't think, then you're thinking about not thinking, which isn't technically thinking, but if you think about it, it is thinking, but if you don't think about it, you're not thinking about thinking about it. Understand?"

Tezuka: "Hmm. Then I barely think. How's that?"

Luke: "I like that answer, Tezuka! Let's do some freakin' shopping!"

Luke begins walking. Tezuka walks behind him. They look around Lusni. They see the buildings that were damaged during Moros' and Rin's fight. They look at each other for a second. 

???: "Ooh, ooh! Look!"

???: "Ahhh! That looks suuuuuuuuuuuper yummyyyy!"

Luke looks over. He sees two young girls at what seems to be a store. They're staring and pointing at a cake.

Luke: "Hey, those kids over there... Where are their parents?"

Tezuka: "Hm, dunno. You should go get them some."

Luke: "Get them some parents? I don't know about that, but I might as well give them some money! Tyler gave me a HUGE allowance!"

Tezuka: "...You didn't steal his massive fortune he had hidden in our room, did you?"

Luke: "...No..."

Tezuka grins.

Tezuka: "I take some of it too. I get some energy drinks. I like them. Oh well, he doesn't care anyways."

Luke goes over to the two girls.

Luke: "Hey there kids! Want some-"

???: "Eep! We don't wanna be raped!"

Luke: "Eh!? What the fuck? I wasn't gonna- Listen, I was just gonna give you some money so you could-"

???: "Ahh!! Sis! He's paying us to do weird things to him-"

Luke: "What the fuck?! Who raised you kids!? I was just giving you some money because you looked fucking sad staring and pointing at that cake on display! Jesus christ! I wasn't going to do that shit! Holy fuck."

???: "Ohhh... Sorry mister!"

???: "Yeah, sorry mister. We didn't mean it."

Luke: "I hope you didn't."

He reaches into his pockets, and pulls out a shit ton of money.

???: "Woah, mister! This is a fortune!"

???: "Thank you, thank you! We won't forget this!"

Luke: "Yeah, I won't forget this either!"

He walks back to Tezuka. Who's on the floor laughing hard.

Luke: "Ey! What's so funny!?"

Tezuka keeps laughing. It's quite out of character, but oddly cute. She stops after a bit, and stands back up.

Tezuka: "Wow. I didn't know you were into that kinda stuff."

Luke: "What."

Tezuka: "Paying kids to do weird things to you?-"

Luke: "I WAS JUST GIVING THEM MONEY, YOU ASSHOLE! HOLY FUCK!"

Tezuka: "Hehehe. It was funny. Admit it."

Luke: "Okay, maybe it was a little. But wow. I feel kinda hurt they'd assume that."

Tezuka: "Heehee... Oh man, Luke. My sides. They hurt from how bad I was laughing."

Luke: "Let's just go back to what we were doing."

They continue on their shopping journey. Eventually they reach a market.

Tezuka: "So, what did you wanna get?"

Luke: "I wanted to maybe buy a new sword. Mine snapped."

Tezuka: "Haha. I don't need weapons. I'm a martial artist."

Luke: "Oh yeah? What if you need to protect those luscious legs? Those warm, soft tootsies? What about... some awesome boots?"

Tezuka: "Don't speak like that to me ever again... But... Boots?"

Luke: "Y'know, like... something you can put on your-"

Tezuka: "Yes, I know what boots are. But hey. That's pretty smart of you to say."

Luke: "Oh, really?"

Tezuka: "Nope. Would probably make me sluggish."

Luke: "Eh? Then train! Train so you can move about in them freely."

Tezuka: "Oh yeah, true."

Luke: "You're an airhead."

Tezuka: "Thanks. You too."

Luke: "What? No I'm not."

Tezuka: "Okay."

Luke: "Right, before we get sidetracked... let's just do some shopping."

Tezuka: "Okay."

They enter the market. They look at a lot of what Lusni has to offer. From giant spoons, to tiny grains of sand that was found in the tops of a huge mountain. In the end, they buy a huge fish the size of Tyler and the width of Luke's armour, a get well soon balloon, and a pair of sunglasses. 

Luke: "Well! This has been pretty successful. How're you liking them shades, dude?"

Tezuka is wearing the sunglasses. The get well balloon is strapped onto one of her kimono flaps.

Tezuka: "They're pretty radical, man. Thanks for getting them for me."

Luke: "Sure! Had to buy you something as a token of my appreciation."

Tezuka: "For hanging out with you? Man, are you lonely or something? I thought you and Luna got it on like-"

Luke: "No. We have NOT gotten it on."

Tezuka: "Oh, are you sure?"

Luke: "Well-"

Tezuka: "I would get it on with T-"

Luke: "I don't need to know that information."

Tezuka: "Who knows? What if it's important to the story?"

Luke: "What story?!"

Tezuka: "Oh, you know. The story of Tezuka. Oh man, is she cool. She has a super duper huge crush on her senpai-"

Luke: "Woah, spoilers, dude! Now that you word it like that, sounds awesome! I aughta read it sometime!"

They continue walking back to the Inn. This day has been oddly successful.