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You were my best friend.
Today I stand next to your grave. I don’t know what to say.
You left me, Gemini, you left me with a broken heart and I still think maybe I could do more? Maybe I could save you? Maybe if I came to you earlier…
You chose her. I had nothing to say. You said you loved her. I believed you. You two looked so happy together. You told your fans about your new movie, it was a big achievement and I wanted to be proud of you. I promise I wanted to be happy for you, but every time I saw you with her, my heart froze. Do you even remember that everything you did with her, you once did with me too? All the kisses on the temple or forehead, every time when you were holding hands, I could only remember that we did that too. And then you left me with a letter. I have it right now with me, I look at it with an emotionless face. I read it once again.
“Hi Fourth!
You’re reading this so it means I’m no longer here. Maybe I should apologize but I don’t want to. What should I apologize for? In the end I’m the one who deserves an apology. Are you surprised?
Don’t say that, I showed you many times what I want to do but you never believed me. You thought I’m happy with Prim. That’s only half of the truth. We were happy at the beginning, you know, this great puppy love. But puppy love soon turned into something dangerous. I didn’t know she was a mafioso. I wish I knew before. My brothers, Phu and Dunk, warned me many times but I was blinded by the love. Yes, FotFot, I loved Prim. That’s why I couldn’t return your feelings. Oh, yeah, I know what you feel for me. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to use you like this. It happened before I realized how bad it was for both of us.
Back to Prim…
She used me. And then she came to me and told me to choose between her and you. I couldn’t do it. She said she loved me, but was this really love if she sold me like this to her mafia friends? Yes, Fourth, she sold me to a mafia. She took me to their place, and I met her boss. He was arrogant and his self-confidence was so high that it made me scared. They said: “You have a choice, either you leave the music industry to work for us or your friend, Fourth Nattawat dies”.
That was no choice at all.
I regret trusting her. She betrayed me. You knew, you told me this too, I didn’t want to listen and now I have to pay for my stupidity. I’ll give this letter to Dunk, I hope he’ll give it to you at the right time. You deserve to know the truth and the whole truth. I made a mistake, I fell in love with the wrong person. I know I should’ve fallen in love with you instead. You’d never betray me like this. I’m sorry if I can’t be with you anymore. I have to fix what I broke. And this is the only solution. They would kill you and I couldn’t let them. I don’t know what did you do to them to make them so mad, but for me it's my last chance to repay all the good things I had thanks to you.
