Lately I just seem to mess everything up,I'm trying not to but it seems to be such a skill of mine. I don't know what I'm doing wrong I just always mess everything up. Colby's said it,Elton's said it,Corey's said it,Jakes said it,Katrina's said it.
I don't know what to do anymore. "Sam go out and get some flowers it's Jakes birthday" Elton said messing some things up in my room. I hated my things being touched so this made me pissed.
I didn't shout though. I Just sighed and tidied it up,I got changed into skinny jeans and a hoodie Colby gave me. I walked downstairs and Colby looked at me. "I need that back" he stated not even looking at me,I nodded and took it off leaving me in a t-shirt.
"SAM GO AND HURRY UP" Elton screamed at me,I ran out of the house running to the store. It was raining. Im pretty sure I heard some thunder I was shivering my skin was turning blue,I got to the store and picked out a bouquet of flowers for Jake.
I didn't want to mess this up so I had a 5 minute staring contest before picking some out.
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I thought they looked good. I went to pay for them. "Dear are you not cold? It's raining cats and dogs out there" the cashier said "Yeah I am but I-I had to get here quickly" I said looking at my skin that was now purple and blue.
"Take care love be careful" she said as I ran out of the store bumping into a few people "Sorry!" I said as I ran back home. I tripped over a rock and hit my nose off the ground it was bleeding but I just ran home.
I was dropped wet and there was blood running down my nose. I opened the door and everyone looked at me. "FINNALY! Jake will be back soon yourself up for fucks same" Corey said pushing me upstairs.
I cleaned the blood and changed before I heard the front door open. I ran downstairs and Jake looked at the flowers. "Who the fuck got me these?!" He said raising his voice looking around the room.
Elton gave me a dirty look I was standing there anxiously "Sam got them. A FEW seconds before you got back." Corey stated pointing at me,Jake looked at me disgusting. "I FUCKING HATE THESE. THEY LOOK LIKE SHIT JUST LIKE YOU" Jake shouted stepping on the flowers.
"SAM GO UPSTAIRS NOW." Colby shouted,I ran upstairs and just started pacing around my room. "SAM WHAT THE FUCK?! WE ASKED YOU TO DO ONE.ONE. SIMPLE FUCKING THING AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT?!" Colby shouted pushing to the floor.
"GOD. YOUR USELESS YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ANY OF US! YOU DONT SEEM TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING EDIT IN TIME." Colby screamed again.
"I hate you." He said slamming my door,I walked downstairs and everyone looked at me "im sorry okay? Im sorry everything im sorry neglecting myself wasn't good enough for you. I'm sorry for ruining your lives. Jake I'm sorry for ruining your birthday. Colby I'm sorry for wasting your life and being your best friend. Elton I'm sorry for being a shitty person to you. Corey I'm sorry." I said my whole body shaking.
They all looked at me confused "Got to your room" Elton said I ran up to my room and walked into the bathroom. I locked the door and grabbed the razor slicing it across my arm multiple times,I realised what I did and I dropped the razor.
I brought my knees up to my chest and pulled my hair. "I fucked up..." I said pulling my hair harder,I started shaking more and my breathing started to get uneven. I was having a panic attack,that soon turned into a mental breakdown and I let out loud sobs.
♥︎Colby's POV♥︎
Sam was shaking. I was scared. I didn't mean to say I hated him. He went upstairs tripping up the stairs from shaking as we all shared a look. "What the fuck?" Jake asked concerned,We all looked at each other and gave Sam his space while celebrating jakes birthday.
After jakes party we cleaned up and all sat on the couch watching a film. Sam came down and was about to walk out the house. "Where you going?" I asked crossing my arms standing in front of the door. "Nevermind..." he muttered walking away,I grabbed him and made him looked at me.
I gasped. His eyes where red,he had massive eye bags under his eyes,he was so pale,his hair was falling out,He hair tears in his eyes. I tried to grab his hand but he just ran upstairs.
♥︎Sam's POV♥︎
I broke down crying in my bed with my hood up. "Why do I always mess everything up...?" I asked myself "I'm nothing...it'd be better if I wasn't here" I sobbed to myself.
What I didn't know is that Colby was standing at my door. He hugged my straight away. "S-Sam please no..." he said putting his head on my shoulder. "W-what...? You said you h-hated me...?" I stuttered,Colby just hugged me tighter.
"I'm so sorry Sammy...I didn't mean it I love you. I don't wanna loose you I should've never shouted at you I should've just been there for you! It wasn't that hard for me to be there for you. You've always been there for me...I'm sorry" Colby apologised.
"Colby...it's okay I forgive you. You don't need to be there for me I can be there for myself" I said. "Sam you fucking starve yourself. How long have you gone without eating?" He asked letting go of me,I looked at my hands.
"We really don't need to talk about this..." I said "Tell me." Colby stated. "C-Colby...I-I can't r-remember..." I said crying into his shirt. "Sam...just let me hold you for a few minutes" he whispered in my ear.
After 5 minutes Colby let go and just looked at me,he got up and held his hand out I took it. "C'mon let's go out to eat" he said smiling "Okay let me get my wallet" I said but Colby pulled my out the house.
"It's on me don't worry" Colby said driving. "Wait your driv- Colby your doing to much for me..." I said feeling guilty. "Sam. I'm not seriously. I'm taking you out to eat and I'm driving you there?" Colby said.
"Your spending money on me then I don't know..." I said slumping down in the passenger seat. Colby parked the car and we walking into the restaurant,I started to get anxious it was so loud.
Colby grabbed my hand and sat down with me. "What would you like Sam?" Colby asked looking at me smiling "Um..." I said looking at the calories of the food. Colby took the menu off of me and coloured all of the calories out.
I told him what I wanted and he ordered it. "Again Sam I'm so fucking sorry." Colby said holding my hand under the table "Colby it's fine I promise" I said.
After a few minutes our food came and I just stared. "Sam you can do it I know you can." Colby said placing a hand on my back,I started eating slowly but growing more comfortable after every bite.
I ate half of it then just looked at it. "Sam well done I'm proud of you." Colby said,I looked at him with my mouth open slightly. "What did I say something?" Colby asked "Y-you said you were p-proud of me?" I stuttered.
"Yes and?" (ARIANA GRANDE,OKAY OKAY BACK TO THE STORY) Colby said staring at me "I wasn't expecting that..." I muttered as Colby paid then drove back home.
Everyone was asleep or hungover on the couch so me and Colby just went to his room and cuddled. Colby was playing with my hair as I slowly fell asleep.
