to love a liar

black coffee

"I don't know," Connie scowled. "Let's pray for everyone's sake that he isn't."

Sasha looked at Armin again, his gaze fixed on the floor. He didn't say anything, nor did it appear like he wanted to ever open his mouth again.

A commute of conviction. The rumble of the train wasn't even strong enough to shake the thoughts in your mind. All you could do was run through the past twenty-four hours—your body not permitting you to do anything else.

Everything that had happened felt no different than a fever dream. From your fight with Eren last night to him telling you he loved you. To the events of the wedding, Lara showing up and everyone finding out about you and Eren. . . to the last thing he said to you . . .

You couldn't fathom any of it. You were beginning to feel like a shadow of your former being . . . a ghost of who you once were.

You stared at your phone, Sasha, Connie, and Armin were blowing it up with text after text. Call after call.

Despite knowing their intentions would be noble, you couldn't bring yourself to face them. In all honesty, you weren't sure when you would.

Flashes of Mikasa screaming and hitting you were playing before your eyes. Glimpses of Eren and his disgust toward you did as well.

Eren.

Memories of the two of you were haunting unapologetically. Perhaps that had been his intention this entire time. His voice rung in your ears.

I was using you to get back at Mason. I just don't want to be with you anymore. I found a way to get back at Mason and I got to fuck you. I was just bored.

Bringing your hand up, you covered your mouth to hide the sobs.

You didn't kill her that night?

Your eyes closed as the tears stung again.

Just looking at you makes me sick. I could never love you. I. Hate. You.

You shook your head, keeping yourself from falling completely apart again. Frantically, you pushed your hair out of your face, dialing Pieck.

"Hello—Y/n—is everything okay? It's two in the morning," Pieck rasped, worry stitched in her quick response.

You sniffled, blinking as you looked out the window, "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Y/n," Pieck sounded much clear and firm this time, picking up on the distress in your voice. "Where are you? Is something wrong?"

"I'm on a train right now," you swallowed meekly. "I'm going to get to the station by the school soon. Could you pick me up?"

"Oh my god—yeah, of course. Babe—get up—we have to go get Y/n," Pieck sharply alerted Porco who must've been busy sleeping most likely. "We'll be there in ten minutes, okay?"

"Okay," you murmured. "Thank you."

You ended the call, watching as the phone dropped in your lap. The sound of the train running kept reminding you of Eren and his love for trains. The memory of the two of you taking the train on a whim to Marley came to mind too.

Ugh, stop thinking about him. He doesn't want you.

Deep breaths, one after the other, were helping to keep you from having a full-blown panic attack. Although, after everything that happened, what set you over the edge had been the final blow of losing Aria's number—it was the final piece tethering you to her. The opportunity to hear her promise to talk to you again soon even if it wasn't real. Gone.