Three Headed Serpent

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Flashback, End of Year 5

Suggested Listening: Ruth (Michael Cera), To be Alone With You (Sufjan Stevens)

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The Undercroft has felt eerily silent the last few days. Sebastian has taken a bit of a leave of absence from school following everything that has happened. The weight of keeping his actions a secret has burdened Ominis and I beyond what we imagined. I especially sense that he regrets his choice on Sebastian's outcome. Ominis has done nothing but mutter and fidget the last few days, his mind always somewhere else.

I am sitting, slumped and with my eyes shut, on a couch that I transfigured when I hear a creak followed by some footsteps. My friend walks in, muttering to himself, with a few books piled in his arms.

"Ominis?" I call out, mainly to alert him of my presence. His head snaps in my direction and he sighs upon recognizing my voice. "I half suspected you would be down here," he says, standing across the room.

"I transfigured a couch. There is room here for you, if you want to sit," I say. He walks over and, after patting the empty space on the couch tentatively, sits down. Plopping his books beside him, he turned towards me. "I feel like I can't breathe today, like being anywhere but here is suffocating," he tells me.

For a moment, I consider how I feel. I have hidden myself away the last few days, spending the majority of my time here or in my dorm room. On the rare occasion I do venture out, it's usually to get a meal. "The castle feels too big now. At least, that's how I've felt the last few days."

He nods. "I can't explain why though. Obviously I have a sort of... anxiety in me. But I think more than anything, there is a feeling of dread. Or maybe a feeling of the unknown. I don't know, really..." he trails off, shaking his head.

The room falls silent again as I fail to respond. Ominis picks up one of the books he brought in and opens it to a page in the middle. I watch as his finger traces along the braille, almost becoming hypnotized by the methodical speed and movement of his hand. To the right, down to the left, to the right, and down to the left again.

I don't realize how long I have been staring, but I hear him clear his throat. Snapping my eyes up to his face, I see a small smile has crept onto his lips.

"Don't ask me how, but I can feel you staring", he says lightly. "I'll give you a galleon for your thoughts?"

A grin emerges onto my face. "A whole galleon? I should tell you my thoughts often then."

He laughs, a real genuine laugh, and I realize how much I have missed this side of him. The side that jokes, wears a smile, and puts me at ease. "Maybe not a whole galleon... but perhaps a sickle."

A small giggle emerges from me. "Truthfully, I just enjoyed watching you read. There was something calming to it, a rhythm to the way your hand moves across the page. It allowed my mind to go blank for a moment."

He nods. "Tell me what you were thinking about before I walked in, then."

Hesitating for a moment, I swallow. "I keep thinking about watching Sebastian do... it to Solomon. How I should have stopped him, even though it happened so fast." I pause, taking a breath. "But I think what haunts me more than watching it happen was how still the body was. The look on Anne's face, the absolute horror and hatred and despair that twisted her features. At that moment, I remember thinking 'What has he just done?'. But now I know that the look on her face was not just because of Sebastian. I helped him get to that point. I wanted to help him cure Anne, and in the end all I did was make her life worse."

There is this silent moment between us, and then I let out a sob. The memory, burdened in my mind alone, now out there for another person to know. A memory that made me feel as both a victim and a villain. A memory that I wish I had the guts to erase.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Ominis' hand search the space between us. When he brushes my finger tips, I let him take my hand gently. This simple comfort only causes me to sob more, my feelings open to him. I look at him, and see that he has tears silently falling down his face.

"Every night since, I have had the same dream," he says, breathing heavily. "I hear you screaming. Sebastian casts the Cruciatus curse and you scream like you did that day. I'm searching for you, searching everywhere, but your scream is all around me. My hands are trying to find you, to take you away from the pain, but I can't find you anywhere. I hear your scream, and then... the other screams from Cruccio that I have heard. They all mix, until I am unable to distinguish who is crying out. I'm searching but I can't find you, and it kills me."

I stare at him, my mouth open but not breathing. His hand is gripping mine, almost painfully, but I do not pull away. Gently, I reach my free hand out to wipe the tears that have gathered on his cheek. As if entranced, his face molds to my hand and he lets out a silent sob. The grip on my hand loosens slightly, but he is still holding onto me as if that is his only comfort.

"Aislynn, I fear we have done the wrong thing by keeping this secret. He has committed something so heinous, that I think a lack of consequences is inappropriate."

My hand falls from his face at his words. In a single second, an emotion flashes across his face that I can't quite read. That emotion is replaced by hurt, and he lets go of my hand, slowly pulling his fingers away from me.

"The things they do to the people in Azkaban, I- I can't bear the thought of it happening to him. You must understand that, Ominis. We would be no better than him for sending him there. We would also be murderers."    

He shakes his head almost violently. "I don't want to send him there either, but when does it all end? Do we harbor him for the rest of his life?" He pauses, considering his next words. "What if he does it again? Do we just forgive him, make excuses for him? I can't live like that, can't live with that guilt."

I stare into his face. "Could you bear to face yourself after sending him away? Would you be able to forgive yourself?"

"No!" he spits out, angrily. "I am cursed with a burden no matter what I do!"

The air around us is so thick I feel as though I cannot breathe. My head is pounding as if I am drunk, and my ears are ringing. Ominis curses under his breath, muttering and fidgeting with his hands. I watch as he runs his hand through the front of his hair, speaking to himself under his breath. The boy I see in front of me is one I do not know. The poise, the grace he normally carries with him, it's all gone.

I don't know what makes me do it. Perhaps I have felt so alone the last few days that I need comfort from the one person who understands the situation at hand. In a swift second, I throw myself towards him and catch him in an embrace. My arms wrap around his neck so tightly at first that I worry I may cause him to suffocate. He is clearly surprised, his hands by his side as I grip his body tightly.

"Let me share the burden with you, Ominis. Let me be there for you, and you be there for me. That is how we get through this, by doing it together," I whisper, my lips next to his ear. The next breath from him is almost a shudder, but then I feel his arms reach around my back. His embrace is soft, gentle, and we sit and hold each other. He takes a breath, and then speaks again.

"I will share your burden Aislynn, for as long as you need me to. I will be there, until you beg me not to be."