The Story of Us - Hyunlix - Hyunho

Minho's Choice

It worked. 

Minho, feeling him going limp, loosened his grip and broke their contact, taking a step back to look at Hyunjin with his hands clenched into fists. His eyes were dark and lustful, his face flushed. They stared at each other, both with unreadable expressions, their minds racing along with their hearts. The air around them seemed solid, trapping them at an impasse. Moments passed in stifling, intense silence. And then, unexpectedly, inexplicably, out of nowhere, Hyunjin took a step forward, cupped Minho's face and began to kiss him, with force and need. His tongue brushed Minho's lips demanding access and upon meeting the other's, they engaged in a fierce battle for dominance. He slid his arms around Minho's neck, holding him close. It was Minho's turn to gasp, stunned by the tables turning, but quickly recovering, he grabbed Hyunjin by the hips and closed the gap between their bodies. Flustered and heated, both of them grinded against each other, biting, moaning between kisses, wet and messy. 

For Minho it was the longing of so many years for someone he fell in love almost at first sight. For Hyunjin it was a desperate attempt to fill the void that was gaping inside him since the break-up, threatening to consume him. So much hunger, so much need, so so desperate...

It was Minho who came to his senses first. It took everything in him to break the battle raging between them and keep Hyunjin at arm's length, as he gasped for air.

"What?" Hyunjin asked in a ragged voice. "Isn't that what you wanted?" His eyes were dark. Was it anger? Was it lust? He leaned against the wall behind him, licking his swollen, bruised lips. Minho looked at him, hair tousled, lips red from kissing, a little bloodied from the bite he gave him, light bruises on his neck, clothes disheveled. What happened just now between them was what he had benn craving all these years, he couldn't lie. He enjoyed it. He wanted more. But, now that his inexplicable rage had subsided, the frantic beating of his heart calmed down, he knew the sentiment wasn't mutual. He could feel it through the desperation with which Hyunjin kissed him back, ran his fingers through his hair, caressed his bare skin under his shirt, still longing for another man, for the one he loved desperately, for Felix. A ghost among them.

They were both still panting. Hyunjin stared back at him, unrelenting. He held Minho's gaze and returned it with his dark seductive one. He was challenging Minho to go through with what he started. Seeing that the other remained silent, Hyunjin continued: "Well, here I am. Do you whatever you want. Take me. I will not stop you." He ran his hand through his tousled black hair, eyes boring into Minho's soul. "Just know that this may very well be a one time thing." His tone was stark, emotionless. Minho lowered his gaze. Regret washed over him. He felt ashamed. This was not what he wanted. He did not want them to come together only to grow further apart afterwards. "I am sorry." He whispered. "You're sorry?!?" Hyunjin scoffed. Minho bowed his head and hastily made his way to the door. His eyes were stinging, he had to flee before tears started to fall, before he could see that Hyunjin was on the verge of tears as well. The latter was again left there all alone. His lip trembled, trying to stifle the sob that threatened to erupt from within him. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor hugging his knees, letting the dark void surround him once again.

Minho ran out of the building and started walking hurriedly. To where? He had no idea. What had he done? How could he do that to Hyunjin, to his Hyunjin? Minho was appaled by his behaviour and horrified that something had irrevocably shifted between them. They would never be able to go back to how they were before. And it was his fault, all of it. He felt guilty for his rush actions. His hot head wreacked havoc once again. He wanted to turn around, go back and apologize but Hyunjin would definitely not let him in. He would avoid being alone with him now. And Minho wouldn't blame him. After all, that was how Hyunjin handled Minho's anger, he would distance himself until the older would cool down and he would sort out his own feelings in solitude. That's what Hyunjin had always done with everyone, anyways. He took distance and time.

Minho stopped walking and took a deep breath. Let's be alone together. Was something he always told Hyunjin when the younger sought out alone time to think things through and Minho would follow him wherever he'd go, staying by his side silently and from a distance to make sure he is safe and sound. But this time, he was the cause of Hyunjin's distress. Hot tears of regret rolled down his cheeks. He stood on the side of the road and let his sobs finally break out of him. It took him a while to calm down and wipe his eyes. He tried very hard not to think that, despite the huge mess he made, he got a taste of what he didn't even allow himself to dream about. He wanted more than anything to be close to Hyunjin, to console him, to be with him. "What a joke." He mumbled to himself as this was clearly impossible.

Right?

Changbin found Minho at the dance studio. The older looked anything but happy. Their eyes met through the mirror. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Changbin asked. Minho shook his head. "I made a mess, Bin." He was sitting down on the polished wooden floor, his head hanging low. Changbin sat next to him. Was he crying? "Did you two have a fight?" He asked gently. Minho just sniffled. "I'm sure that you can work things out. Whatever you said..." Minho looked straight ahead. "...or did, Hyunjin will forgive you. He cares for you a lot. You know that." "But I wouldn't forgive me..." Minho mumbled bitterly.