𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 ~ 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐭

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗙𝗼𝘂𝗿

"Rebecca's dad died."

A FEW HOURS LATER

"So, where do you think her father is right now?" Keeley asked, looking around the room at the others in the office. Ted, Beard, and Tallulah all at their desks, all in deep thought, and Nate and Higgins in their usual visiting spots in the room. The room's atmosphere was sad, depressing, an air of gloom definitely fogging the usual pleasant mood.

"In the drawer of a funeral home," Roy responded simply, as if it were the only answer. Tallulah looked over at the bearded man, her hands shaking. The death of Rebecca's father only brought back the death of her own to the forefront of her mind.

Keeley shook her head at her boyfriend, "No. I mean, like, spiritually."

"In the drawer of a funeral home," Roy reiterated.

Ted spoke up from his spot at his desk, "You know, growing up, I used to believe that if you did good things, you went to heaven. You did bad things, you went to hell. Nowadays, I know we all just do both. So wherever he is, I hope he's happy."

There was a beat of silence as Tallulah spoke up, her voice shaking only slightly, "I think we just go back to where we came from, coming back as dune grass and pine trees, right?"

That's what she told herself anyway, you go back to the ground and become all the flowers and trees, all the things in life that bring joy to others without still having to exist. She wondered what her parents were, perhaps the roses Jamie had bought her just a couple of days ago, or maybe they went back to the home and were the dune grass by the waves.

"I like to imagine a heaven where animals are in charge, and humans are the pets," Higgins added, to which everyone gave a chuckle. "I'd like to spend eternity curled up in front of a fire at Cindy Clawford's feet."

"Would you come back as any pet, do you think?" Tallulah thought back to a pet snail she had once had as a small child, which had made a home in the tomato garden.

"I'd like to be reincarnated as a tiger... and then ravage anyone who looked at me wrong," Nate directly talked over the girl.

Nate had been doing this a lot lately, talking over her, poking at her when she was around the pitch. The others had seen, but Tallulah had seemed unaffected, though she had seemed more anxious, but the coaches concluded that it must just be the offer still weighing over her.

She still hadn't made a decision.

Still hadn't told Jamie.

The deadline was getting closer and closer.

"I'll see you guys later?" Tallulah moved out of the room, everyone assumed that the girl's feelings had just been muddied up by the death. But they were all muddied up because of the email. The fucking email, the email that every time she thought about it made her throat close up, made her hands shaky, and her mind spin.

She moved down the hallway and to Sharon's office. The girl felt sick to her stomach, sick to her core.

Her fists pounded on Sharon's door, hoping this time at least the woman would be there to help her. She needed someone to tell her what to do, someone to give her guidance, help calm her down, show the girl what to do, tell her what she needed to hear.

"Tallulah?" Sharon opened the door, seeing the girl in distress. The girl seemed somehow much smaller than she normally was, crouched down and folding in on herself. "Come in," the older woman said instantly, placing a comforting hand on the small of her back and guiding her to take a place on the couch they had never used in their sessions.

Tallulah sunk into the cushions, wanting nothing more than to sink further and disappear into the gray fabric. "My parents died in a car crash," she started, her mind still not really comprehending the situation she was in and causing her to ramble, "I understood that I was never going to be able to see them again. Never be able to hold my mum's hand again, that my father was never going to be able to walk me down the aisle. I was okay with that because it was decided for me. I didn't get to choose."

Tallulah let out a quivering sigh and continued, avoiding eye contact with the floor, "I've always loved making music, always loved playing the guitar, being in front of a crowd. It gives me a high like no other, except..."

There was a pause until Sharon gently prompted her, "Jamie."

"Exactly," Tallulah exhaled again as if clearing the air from her lungs would clear the thoughts from her head, "Jamie." She took a moment to try and collect her thoughts, the question swirled around in her brain, "So why is this so hard?"

"Why is what so hard?"

"Deciding whether to choose love or pursue my dreams?" Tallulah looked Sharon in the eyes for the first time since entering the room. Sharon's look of confusion prompted Tallulah to explain, "I received an email from an agent. They want me to create a band and tour for a bit—just small gigs, like festivals. But after performing with Djo, I've gained quite a bit of attention, and now they're presenting me with this opportunity!" Tallulah's voice had risen in excitement, pulling her up from the sinking sofa.

"That sounds amazing! Being back on stage with Djo a few months ago—it was electrifying. I felt so alive that night, but—" She paused, taking a shaky breath. "But I love Jamie so much. He makes me feel..." Tallulah twisted her ring, pacing back and forth. "Jamie makes me happy, makes me feel like I'm home. So how do I choose between staying home with Jamie or following these newfound dreams?"

Sharon watched her pacing, the room filled with Tallulah's turmoil. "Tallulah," Sharon's calm voice made her halt mid-pace, "I can't make this decision for you."

The echo of her saying similar words to Jamie weeks ago resonated as she nodded, sinking back onto the grey sofa. "You're right." The redhead's fingers still played with the bulky silver ring on her middle finger. "But how can I leave him when he's done nothing wrong?"

"So, you're considering leaving?" Sharon inquired.

"I— I don't know." She mumbled. "I never imagined I'd have this opportunity, but now that I do... If you were in my shoes, would you follow your dreams?"

Sharon offered a sympathetic smile. "I am following my dream. Helping people like this—this is what I've always wanted."

"Oh."

It all made sense now. Everyone in her life was chasing their dreams. Ted had left his family to pursue his, Roy had switched careers, and Jamie had returned from a TV series to reignite his football career.

If everyone around her was pursuing their dreams, why shouldn't she?

"I don't want to leave him like everyone else has. I'm his person," she admitted.

Sharon sighed, her empathy evident. "Jamie loves you."

Tallulah knew that much, even without words being exchanged, she felt Jamie's love. "I know."

"Do you doubt that Jamie will support you? With all the love and passion between you, don't you think he'll stand by you, care for you? What do you think Jamie will feel knowing you had a chance to achieve your dreams and didn't take it because of him?"

Tallulah found herself speechless. "I don't know... I just don't want to lose him."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Blu Speaks!

Do you guys like that Tallulah is exploring a diffrent part of herself a bit more? I wanted her to grow a lot in this season which I think she definetly did but do you guys like it or no?

Okay love you all!!! Thanks for reading!