Spirited Away

The Dark Side

I couldnt handle the guilt any more.
My temper and death streak proceeded me, and the loneliness it brought to me was unbearable. The pain brought me by my TIE silencer to Mustafar, where my grandfather had his fate changed, and had once been left to die. The hallowed grounds were not what I once thought them to be, the fiery glowing red of the flowing river of lava I stood before seemed to be a beckoning of all the death that happened at its depths. It was beautiful, I could not pull my eyes away even though it burned my eyes; it was deceiving, less like moldering liquid and more like a mystical water.
I held my mask in my hands, lifting it up I examined the four silver metal lines around the sunken eyes.
They haunted me.
"Fuckkk!" I screamed throwing the mask as hard as I could into the stream.
I panted as I watched it slowly melt, and once the last of the black disappeared, I screamed in anger again, my hands held up with my fingers flexed.
How had it come to this... this desperation?
Oh, right. Him.
With the force I easily over powered him, but with pheromones, he easily overpowered me. I had managed to uphold everything with my suppressants I was secretly getting from a doctor on Curoscant. But as the new Supreme leader I had found it difficult to escape my responsibilities, and by the time I finally readied a ship to leave, it hit me, and he found me sitting on the floor, feverish and panting.
One look in his eyes and I knew he was hungry for me, so I gathered all my strength to use the force and sent him flying into the wall, pinning him back. I felt his Alpha pheromones wrapping around me, trying to dominate me into stopping as I crawled into my ship and shut the door. Once free of him it was easier to get to my seat and start the ship, but by then he was shutting the doors, so I hurried and flew off, barely making it out.
Some reason I did not make it to my doctors. He would have spread it through the Order I was an Omega by now anyways. So here I ended up, on this forsaken land, staring at this fiery lake, with nothing on my mind but a wish to die.
If my wishes, my dreams could not be fulfilled, what was I? What did I have left?
Why did I kill my father?
I felt something wet and itchy streak down my cheek, shocked, I reached up and touched it; lowering my hand I saw the clear liquid and realized I was crying.
Shit. My father, my uncle, they were all gone because of me, and now my poor mother was left alone knowing her bastard son did it. How that must hurt, having to fight against your own child.
Why did I do that to her again?
Suddenly a sharp pain filled my head, I winced, crouching into myself as I set my head into my hands screaming in agony.
Then a scent managed to over power the burning ashy smell of the lava. It was leathery and rain. I instantly recognized it since I had been smelling it the past so many years.
General Hux.
I turned around, still cradling my head as the pain held me hostage. Hux stood at a ship I had not heard land, I had been so distracted I had not even felt it or him disturb the force around me.
"Kylo." He announced, he stood in his usual erect position, his arms behind his back, "Come to me."
My body trembled as I fought it, I had never felt this weak, ever. I needed help, someone, anyone, save me.
Grandfather, please. I grabbed my upper left arm as I felt like my legs were about to move. That or my knees were going to give, I was not sure.
"Kylo!"
My name came from behind me this time, I turned and saw Rey, the traitor now called Finn, and that resistance pilot Poe. My eyes rested on Poe as he looked at me desperately and another chill ran through me.
It can't be. I'd heard of it before, it was extremely rare, in fact it was a legend, but the story was some Omegas had two fated mates. Hux growled, he stepped forward as he sensed Poes pheromones trying to pull me in.
"Ren. Kylo. You belong to me, not him. We have the same goals, we've known each other."
That was true. But my goals didn't align with his anymore, right? That's why I was here.
"Kylo, I sensed your force," Rey said, "I can feel your pain. Please, come with us, with Poe."
Poe impatiently waited, he looked like he wanted to wait for me to decide to come to him, but it made him anxious. His eyes went wide, he slid down the cliff, I turned and Hux grabbed my wrist, I gasped as he squeezed it.
"Hux that hurts!" I said.
He started dragging me.
"You need to learn your place, which is beside me.
My place? Wait, no. I am, was, the Supreme leader. I am the strongest with the force. I'm stronger than Hux, even with his pheromones overpowering me.
I tore from Hux and pushed out with my hand, sending him flying back, he rolled onto his side. Sitting up, he growled.
I gasped as he sent angry, dominative pheromones at me, and I collapsed, but I fell into arms, I looked up at Poe, he reassuringly grinned at me.
"I don't think you'll be able to carry me up," I faked a grin, since a was larger than him.
The curse of being a late bloomer.
"That's why I'm here to help." Finn said coming up.
I looked at him unsure, I still had my First Order beliefs screwed into me and he had betrayed us after all. He looked at Poe unsurely, Poe nodded his head.
"It'll take him a while to get back into his old ways, we knew that when we came decided to come," he reminded him.
Finn nodded, and bent down, and grabbed under my legs, lifting me up, they carried me over to the edge of the lava stream.
"How'd you get over this?" I asked.
"Rey," Poe grinned.
I felt pressure under me and went unsteady as the force lifted us, so this is what it felt like.
I didnt like it.
"Don't drop me," I said gripping onto Poe tightly.
Poe grinned, wrapping his arms tightly around me.
"Never," he promised.
"I thought you came to die?" Finn asked.
I looked down from Poe and gleamed at him.
"Can I kill him?"
Finn went to drop my legs but I panicked, "wait! I'm sorry," I said timidly.
Oh, how I've fallen.
Poe chuckled, "no, we need Finn."
"Need me? That's your reason?" Finn asked, "I'd hate to see your excuse to stop him from killing others."
I then felt a disturbance in the force and turned to Hux, I saw him by his ship, he had some stormtroopers with their guns raised at Poe. I raised my hand.
"I'm sorry Poe. If you don't want to see this, look away."
"You can't kill if you want to be good." Finn said.
"The resistance does it to save the world. I'll do it to save my fated mate."
I then clenched my fist. Poe went to slide his hand over mine, but the troopers were already rising off their feet, choking. Rey didn't drop me, she could have, but she didn't disagree, she knew I had to do what I did to save them.
By then we were on top of the cliff. I saw the falcon waiting there. My father's ship, I hadn't seen it since... well, that was history.
I hesitantly walked to it, the others watching. I reached up with a shaky hand, and set my fingers on it. Then the memories hit me, everything my father saw, everything he did with Luke and my mother, then Rey after him. I ripped myself away, gasping, panting. Poe caught me, wrapping his arms around me, saying soothing words I didn't fully hear.
"Cmon," he said, "let's get out of here before Hux comes up."
I nodded my head, and he led me up. He led me through the short entrance and we came into the center round room. Only then I felt them, I froze as I saw my mom Leia and Chewy.
The fuck, why couldn't I sense anyone anymore other than Poe? What was wrong with me?
I stepped back, turning to flee.
"Ben, stop."
I froze as my mother called out my name, my eyes meeting Poes. He gave me that reassuring smile again.
"Why'd you bring them here?" I asked.
"She's the one that sensed you," Rey admitted, "not me. I just knew if I told you that you wouldn't come and you'd walk into Hux's arms."
You're damn right I would.
"Ben. Please. Come sit. I can feel your pain."
"You know nothing about my pain!" I said turning to her, she frowned, "all these years I've been suffering, and you did nothing!"
"Ben-"
"No! You don't get to talk! Just- just leave me alone. I need some time alone," I said and went down a hall to the crew quarters.
I knew this was a bad idea. I should have just jumped into that glowing pit of liquid.