New Girl in Town

Chapter 48

My fingers curl around the wood stand, my heart thumping in my throat. This was inevitable, I remind myself. It's happened. It's over.

"Lisa? Hey."

But it's not. Fuck. Of course it's not. Of course she followed me.

I stare at the phone, praying for it to ring, but it doesn't save me. So I grab a pen and focus on the reservation book in front of me.

"Hey," I say, glancing up for a second to shoot her a quick smile before going back to writing a name in the book. I'll cross it out later. "Did you need something? More water for the table?"

"What are you doing here?" Jennie asks.

"I'm working?"

"Since when?"

"Like a month or so."

"Your hair," she says, gesturing to her shoulders. "You cut it."

"Oh yeah, ages ago."

Taeyang comes over, a stack of menus in his hands. "Can you take these for me?"

"Of course." I grab them.

"You sticking around for family meal?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say, acutely aware that Jennie's watching us.

"Sorry," I tell Jennie, as I set the menus on the stand and begin to sort them so they're all facing the right way. "Fridays are always busy. Tell Suzy happy birthday for me." I smile at her, small but not trembling, even though I feel like it. My legs shake behind the hostess stand. If she reaches out and touches me, it'll be over. She'll know it's not as solid as it looks, the strength I'm showing. But it's not fake, either, and that makes me feel stronger.

A frown twitches across her face at my dismissal.

"We should catch up," she insists.

"I've got work," I say.

"What about after?"

That familiar pout plays across her lips, and for a second, I go down the rabbit hole, remembering how they fit against mine.

"Do you really think we have anything to talk about?"

"C'mon, Lisa. Don't be like that."

Prickles spread down the back of my neck. No. She doesn't want me to be like that. Because what I'm being is honest. And she can't deal.

"Fine," I say. "I'm off at eleven."

"I'll see you then. It'll be great!"

She goes back to her parents and Suzy, and I watch her for a second, wondering if she'll ever really get great. Then the phone rings and I get back to work, trying to ignore the clock ticking toward eleven.

***

She's waiting for me as the staff trickles out into the parking lot after family dinner. She leans against the car her mom lets her borrow sometimes, watching me. It's about ten minutes before Marco picks me up. He doesn't like me biking home at night.

"You can go home," I tell Taeyang, who usually stays with me until Marco comes. "My..." I pause, because what is she? We're not friends. Were we ever that? No. It was always something more. Something she didn't want to name and ran from. Something that changed me and pushed me forward in the end, instead of backward like I'd thought. I guess for that I can be grateful. Someday, at least. When the hurt fades.

If the hurt fades.

"She and I need to talk," I say to Taeyang, and he nods like he understands, because I guess he does.