cookies for u

069

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[ narration ahead : u can't skip this part ! ]

"Wow, you look beautiful as always, Antalia." His compliment made me smile. "Thank you, Evan," I responded as he led me to his car.

I've just had a long quiz on a major sub earlier, and I was all drained out that i didn't even have the energy to change clothes nor fix myself. Unlike Evan, who's full of energy. Puro siya kuwento na mostly ay tungkol sa mga kalokohan. I let him be and just listened.

We've been like this for the whole month. At isang buwan na rin walang paramdam si Trevlor. He just vanished like a popped bubble. With no trace nor farewell at all.

Hindi ko rin siya nakikita sa loob ng campus. Palagi kong inaaya sina Rae at Eloise na mag-lunch na lang sa Cafeteria. Umaasang maabutan man lang siya roon pero never ko siyang nakitang kasama ang mga kaibigan niya kahit kompleto naman palagi roon sina Evan. It feels like he left me hanging in an unfamiliar place.

Despite his sudden disappearance, he's consistently giving me blueberry cheesecake from Ate Cass' cafe every day. But he never replied to my thank you messages, and it makes me even more confused.

What are you really on, Edrian?

"If you just saw his reaction, siguradong matatawa ka rin!" iling-iling niyang sabi habang nakapokus pa rin sa daan.

"Ang laki pa ng pusta niya. He even mocked me, saying I won't even be on half of his shoot counts. But look who lost the bet. Siya ang wala sa kalahati ng points ko."  I turned to face Evan, thinking of asking him all the whereabouts of Trevlor.

"Is there something wrong?" His forehead creased. Umurong ang dila ko nang sumilyap siya sa'kin bago ibinalik muli ang tingin sa daan. I took a deep breath then looked away. I have to shake these thoughts off my mind.

"Wala naman. Pagod lang," sagot ko at tinuon na lang ang buong atensyon sa mga gusaling nadadaanan namin. Hindi na rin naman siya nagtanong at nagsalita ulit. Instead, he turned the music on.

it's been a long time
i guess i just miss the old days
you remember, all them times

Dumating kami sa resto nang walang imikan. I was not really in the mood to talk, and I can tell that Evan had sensed it. We're still silent till we reached the table he reserved for the two of us after being escorted by a waiter. Humigit siya ng isang upuan at hinintay akong makalapit sa kaniyang kinatatayuan. Nang makaupo na ako ay nakangiti siyang umupo sa bakanteng upuang kaharap ko.

After uttering our orders, the waiter took the menu from our hands and left. Pinagmasdan ko ang buong paligid. It was just a small simple resto surrounded by glass walls where the cityscape beneath the night sky is clear. The room was filled with minimalism interior that shouts elegance. From a little distance, I stared at the big painting hanging on the wall. Below it was a vase of tulip on a marble table.

Bumalik uli ang tingin ko sa painting. It was a painting of Lovers under an umbrella in the snow, painted by Suzuki Harunobu. It's simple but enough to convey its meaning which is love.

"Do you like that painting?" Nilingon ko siya at nagtagpo ang mga mata namin.

"Yes, simple but beautiful." He nodded at my answer with eyes still fixated on me. His gaze were gentle pero nakakalunod. It's so transparent that I could easily tell what it yearns to speak to me. So pure that it gives my heart a pinch of ache.

"The same as you." tipid ko iyong nginitian. "I like you, Antalia. I like you from then and till now," he added with all of his gathered courage. My smile faded. I already saw this coming, but I was never ready of how and what I should respond.

Awkwardness filled the room. Buti na lang at dumating kaagad ang pagkain kaya napunta ro'n ang atensyon namin. No one spoke as we moved the utensils on our plates, but I can sense the discreet glimpses of him on me. Silence devoured us wholly again.

Hanggang sa pag-uwi ay wala kaming imikan at galawan sa isa't isa. But Evan still kept to do his gentleman gestures. Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto ng sasakyan at nagmaneho paalis nang makapasok na ako ng bahay. 

I saw how his eyes questioned mine. I saw how confusion was drawn on it and how pain was evident on his face while waiting for me to speak.

I went straight to the bathroom. Nakapikit akong nagbabad sa tubig, hinihiling na agusin niyon ang mga gumugulo sa'king isipan. I bit my lips in frustration. There's a lot of things I want to tell him. Like how I appreciate his effort and how I see him as a precious friend of mine. But I was too scared to break his heart. This is the first time he has confessed to me. Kahit pa ang alam ko ay isang taon na siyang may gusto sa'kin.

I don't know where to start and how this might end us. 

Evan's sudden confession was messing with my mind, but another thing's occupying my mind even more. The man who has ghosted me for a month.

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