Everything I Don't Deserve

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"Which Austin are we getting tonight?" I asked Cathy as she came back into the room, shutting the door behind her and dulling the constant thud of the music playing in the green room. It was still 2 hours till stage time and I was already getting a headache. Thank god there is a nice tub in my hotel room and a bottle of wine in the fridge. I cannot wait to get there. This week could not end soon enough. I flicked my long dark blonde hair over my shoulder and kept looking through the teeshirts neatly folded on the table in front of me.

"Well he hasn't started on the blow yet from what I can tell, so better than last night at this time." Cathy sighed and sank into the chair across from me.

"Good maybe he can at least dress himself tonight..." I rolled my eyes and pulled a few shirts from the pile.  "He coherent enough to want to choose or should I just pull something for him. I've already narrowed it down.."

"Probably but Dre said he was in a bad mood, apparently Starr? Starla? Whatever her name was, had to go back home, she had class Monday." Cathy said with a laugh.

"Class?! The fuck Cathy!?" I said in disbelief. "My god how young was she? Could she even drink?"

"Just turned 22!" She said in a mocking high pitched valley girl accent. "I heard her bragging last night."

"That's young even for his current standards. What the hell does that man talk to a 22 year old about?"

"You think they talked? That's cute Jordan..." she belly laughed.

"You have a point... Jesus, he's lucky he doesn't catch a charge."

"He's lucky he doesn't catch something more than that. Something antibiotics can't cure, or some child support.." she said matter of factly as she started unboxing yet another pair of converse. He goes through the things like Kleenex. I need to see how many more pairs he has, if he's as low as I think he is I'll have to order more tonight.. where the fuck will we be in 3 days?  Maybe I should just call around and see how many pairs of size 12's are in Tampa. Add that to my "off day" to do list.

"You aren't kidding about that. I'm going to tell Dre to get him, I'm not poking the bear if he's pissed off. I'll be back..." I said as I walked to the door.

It was loud and smoky, like it always is. The room was full but thankfully for now it was mostly just the boys. They were enough to deal with on their own, but when Austin, Smitty and Dre too if we are being honest, started picking girls off the rail and pulling them backstage it always got a hell of a lot rowdier. That's when the booze really started flowing, the pills and the blow come out and I wind up seeing more titties than I ever thought I would walking into this job.

Austin caught my eye as soon as I opened the door, and he was pissed. That broody ass stare he gets when he's in his feelings, whatever they currently might be. It's been what I have seen on him most in the past 4 months I've actually been working face to face with him full time. Ever since he and Shelby broke things off he's been hell to deal with, and that was a year ago. You would think by now and with the fact that he's had a steady rotation of women... well.. girls.. he would have her out of his system. He was crazy for her though, I felt bad at first because he really was in love with her. Now I just wish he would settle the fuck back down and act like he's just a few weeks shy of 30 and not 22 himself.

"Dre! Tell Austin I'm ready if he is. We still have a little time if he's not..." I said over the boom of the speakers.

"Will do Jordan.. actually.." he pointed back over my shoulder as I turned back around, Austin was headed our way, cigarette between his lips and a beer in his hand. "Good luck with him. He's been an ass to me since I walked on his bus this morning."