Lost In Lucidity

One Last Trip

Val nods, but I can see she isn't ready to accept it yet. I know she won't be for a while, but the best I can hope for is that when she is, she'll remember what I said. It's hard to believe the words of reassurance that people give when you blame yourself for what happened.

With pursed lips, I slide my hand further up her cheek to brush a tear away. Claireese takes a seat on the opposite side of the bed, then reaches over and begins to gently run her nails over Val's back. Our friend grieves like that for a while longer before collapsing straight back against the sheets. She closes her eyes tight, then takes Claireese's hand, and I lay next to her just brushing her hair softly, unsure of what else to do. Nothing is going to take her pain away now...

I couldn't tell you when, but sleep eventually overtakes us and everything after becomes a blur. Despite being sleep deprived, my brain is on edge and drifts in and out of sleep at every small noise in the hall. Eventually, they stop altogether as the people outside finish conducting their business and move to another part of the facility. After that, sleep comes easy.

At one point I black out, then wake up to find that all three of us have shifted positions. I lay in the middle while Val has moved to cuddle at my side in her usual position. I can feel the wetness of my shirt where her head lays, and I wonder if she's even really sleeping or not. To my surprise, I feel another body on my other half. Claireese has pressed herself against me, laying on her side so that her forehead is up against my shoulder. Her breath is steady, rhythmically warming the fabric with each deep exhale, and I'm surprised to find her so close. Her arm that she lies on top of reaches out slightly, fingers lightly gripping my sleeve, even in sleep. Her other hand lays across my chest where it has met up with Val's, lazily resting on top of it, fingers laced into her palm.

There, sandwiched between my two friends, I feel at truly ease for the first time in days. Maybe even years... If I died tomorrow, everything would have been worth it just to get here. Just to lie with my two favorite people one last time.

My muscles melt like butter into the bed. I feel heavy and lethargic, sleep still clinging to my eyes, and with the gentle, rhythmic breathing of the ladies beside me singing the sweetest lullaby I've ever heard, I let it take me down.

In and out, I drift several more times, returning to sleep when I find that I'm still locked in place. The last few times I even can tell that we've been lounging for too long and that I need to get up, but the comfort I feel combined with not wanting to disturb the girls next to me tells me that just a few more minutes couldn't hurt. Besides, even if I got up, I wouldn't leave Val, so for now, just lazing in the room is fine by me.

Eventually, I jolt awake to find that I've changed positions, Laying on my side and caressing Val from behind. I don't feel Claireese nearby anymore, and when I lift my head to look around, I see a tray of scarcely touched food on the nightstand next to me. Somebody must have stopped by with meals, and judging from the meager nibbles take from the plate, this one must be Valentines. Looking at the food, I realize how hungry I've become in my time comatose and decide that it might be a good idea to eat something myself. Especially since I vomited up the only thing in my stomach the night prior.

I smoothly slip my arm out from Val, then sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. Looking around the room, I see Claireese sitting over in the living room area, holding something in her arms that the couch obscures. She's wearing earbuds, so I don't bother to call out, and instead start toward her with a gentle stride.

As I round the couch, I see that the object she has wrapped in her arms is a guitar. A very nice one at that; electronic. She strums the pressure pads with her thumb and dances her other hand around the neck of the instrument, creating noise that only she can hear through the headphones. I can't help but smile at seeing her back to her usual self. She starts slightly upon seeing me round the sofa into the space with her and manages a small smirk before taking out a bud and setting on the coffee table.