Lucifer: Al is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, What do I do..?
Husk: Punch him in the stomach, When he doubles over in pain, Kiss him.
Nifty: Tackle him!
Charlie: Dump him (Stop dating my friends, Dad 🥹).
Alastor: No. To all of those. My darling, Just ask me to lean down.
Alastor: Hey, About your love letter.
Lucifer, Nervous: Yeah.. What do you think?
Alastor: About the fourth sentence..
Lucifer, Blushing: Yeah, That's where it gets really emotional and-
Alastor: You forgot a comma.
Angel, Vaggie and Alastor sitting in jail:
Vaggie: So, Who do we call? I'd call Charlie, But she'd kill me.
Angel: I'd call husk, But if I'm honest, I feel safer in jail..
Angel: Let's call Lucifer, He's basically a baby duck. He'd be more worried then angry. What do you think, Al?
Alastor, Who has angered Lucifer before, Shaking: Please do not.
Alastor: Why is everyone so obsessed with Top and Bottom? I'd just be thrilled to have owned a bunk bed!
Lucifer:
Charlie:
Lucifer: Ima tell him.
Charlie: Don't you dare.
Lucifer, Laughing: Why would me and Alastor have nicknames? That's silly, Dear!
Charlie: Sure.. (Brings out baby duckling)
Lucifer, Holding the duckling: Who's my good boy?
Alastor, from afar: That would be me.
Charlie, Glaring: Never lie to me again.
Lucifer: I can fit the whole world in my hands!
Charlie: I seriously doubt that, Dad.
Lucifer, Cupping Alastor's face: Oh really?
Alastor, Struggling: My Lord, I have a reputation-
Charlie: I'm cold..
Vaggie: Here, Babe have my sweater.
Charlie, Cuddling into it: Thanks, Vaggie!
Lucifer, Getting jealous: Al, I'm cold too.
Alastor, Who already has Lucifer on his lap, Not looking up from his book: Would you like me to set you on fire, Darling?
Lucifer, Trying to intimidate Adam: I'm going to tear off your wings and feed them to my daughter's pets.
Alastor, Blushing: [whispering] Marry me, Please.
Lucifer, Looking over at Alastor: What?
Alastor: What.
Alastor's shadow, Being bored:
Lucifer, Walking past him:
The shadow: Nice ass, Blondie!
Lucifer, Blushing:
Alastor: That was NOT-
Lucifer: Al, I've had enough. We're over.
Alastor: Oh well, Guess I'll need my jacket back-
Lucifer: I take it back- I TAKE IT BACK-
Lucifer: I could strangle you.
Alastor: You aren't tall enough to do it.
Lucifer: You've sunk low enough for me to, You petty shi-
Lucifer: Can we cuddle tonight?
Alastor: I'm afraid not, Darling.
Lucifer: Why not?
Alastor: Rosie invited me out.
Lucifer: Oh, Okay.
~Two hours later~
Lucifer, Sobbing into Charlie: He doesn't love me anymore!
Charlie: Dad, This is the fourth time this week!
Alastor: Oh, I'm a cannibal and I kill anyone who messes with me. I've also hurt people close to me for my own personal gain.
Lucifer: Hot.
Charlie: DO NOT.
~WARNING - SEXUAL CONTENT~
Alastor and Lucifer in a singing battle:
Alastor: And here's the sugar on the cream, He asked me to make him screa-
Lucifer: ALASTOR I SWEAR I WILL SELL YOUR SOUL ON THE BLACK MARKET!
Alastor's Mother: He's a holy boy!
Lucifer: Yes, I know.
Alastor: LUCIFER.
Lucifer: So, Al. Heard you were a cannibal when you were human.
Alastor: Indeed I was!
Lucifer: Wanna eat something of mine?
Alastor:
Lucifer, Smirking and biting his lip:
Alastor, hesitating: .. I'm not sure I'd like to answer that.
Lucifer: Come on me if you want to live!
Alastor: Isn't it 'come with me'?
Lucifer, Frog blinking: Wa- What did I say?
~END OF SEXUAL CONTENT~
Alastor: I have one of the sharpest memories, My dear! Name one thing I've forgotten.
Lucifer: You forgot me at Target last week.
Alastor: I did that on purpose, Try again.
Husk, Drunk: Alastor!
Alastor, Sober: Yes, Husker?
Husk: I have to tell you.. Sumthin'..
Alastor: What would that be, My good man?
Husk: I swore I wouldn't tell.. But Lucifer likes you.
Alastor: Oh really? Since when?
Husk: Since we rebuilt the hotel.
Alastor, Caressing Lucifer's blonde hair, who's he's been married to for a year: I swear I won't tell a soul.
Charlie: Today's activity is Glitter Stars!
Husk,Made a decent star: Eh, Pretty easy.
Nifty and Vaggie working together:
Alastor, Who made a perfect Star which is covered in glitter: Aha! What an easy task!
Lucifer and Angel: I GOT FUCKING GLITTER IN MY EYES!
YOU ARE READING
Alastor x Lucifer One Shots
FanfictionEven though these might say Alastor x Lucifer, Some of these'll be platonic because I think they'd generally be like great friends ಥ_ಥ So yay, Oneshots. Al x Luci = Charlie's Dads (◍•ᴗ•◍)
