Love & War

Ch.19

"What's the matter?"

"Darla, you are so lucky to have someone like Ralph Angel who supports you through the good and the bad. That just reminded me of Spencer and I before I came here to rehab."

"Who's Spencer?" Ralph Angel asked me.

"He's my husband."

"You know Liv, me and Darla had our fair share of times where it seemed like our marriage was over."

"How did you guys get through it?"

"We never gave up on each other. Darla continued to show me how determined she was to be better for our family. I commend her for all the hard work she has put in. And I'm confident we will get back to where we once were."

I smiled at them.

"I know I can't speak for Spencer Liv, but I do remember you saying that he did blame himself for you relapsing."

"I did say that."

"Well did you ever think that maybe he felt guilty and he is the reason you relapsed?"

"No. And I would never blame Spencer. I was the one who chose to consume alcohol and drugs."

"Well, when you complete the rehab program, maybe you two owe each other an honest conversation."

"Yeah. I think you're right Darla." I acknowledged her opinion.
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Spencer's P.O.V

It's been difficult for me ever since Liv has been in rehab.

Almost everyone blamed me for Liv relapsing and now I feel all alone since they refuse to talk to me.

I've had to stay strong for Gianna and Kiara throughout this process. It has been hard at times because when they ask me when Mommy is coming home, I keep thinking about the time I found Liv unconscious on the kitchen floor.

Luckily there was one person who was there for me whenever I just needed someone to talk to.

"Hey. Thanks for coming."

"Of course. How are you holding up?" Alicia said as she walked in.

"Not too good if I'm being honest. Ever since Liv relapsed everyone's been blaming me saying that it was my fault."

"Not everyone hates you, Spencer. Did you try talking to your Mom or your brother?"

"No. I'm afraid that they'll feel the same as the Bakers do."

"Spencer you can never know about the unknown. Have you ever thought about maybe seeing a therapist? You know keeping your emotions inside is not good for you."

"Thought about it, but I feel like it would be pointless because it doesn't change anything about Liv."

"Well, maybe you should hear the therapist out. You never know."

Maybe Alicia's right, I should give it a shot. What do I have to lose?

"Okay. I know someone and I'll give him a call."

"Great. So what do you what do you want to do today?"

"We can go to the Santa Monica Pier."

"Sounds fun. Let's go." Alicia helped me up, and we headed out.

The Next Day....

"You can't keep blaming yourself for other people's actions, Spencer. What happened to Liv was not your fault. You didn't know that she was drinking and using drugs again."

"But I should've known. Now she's in rehab away from me and our daughters. I just wish I could tell her how I feel and how sorry I am."

"Maybe you can Spencer."

"What do mean Dr. Spears?"

"I want to do an assignment when you get home?"

"So you're giving me homework?" I laughed.

"If you're willing to take the time and do this assignment, I promise it'll help you."

"What do I have to do?"

"I want you to write a letter to Olivia. You won't send it to her, but I write all the emotions and feelings you have kept inside you. Let out what you're feeling. Tell Olivia what you want to tell her and I promise you that you'll see a difference. If it helps, I want you to keep doing it."

"Okay. I'll give it a shot."

"Good. Unfortunately, our session has ended, but if you would like to schedule another session, let me know and I'll see what's available.

"Thank you, Dr. Spears."

"Anytime Spencer."

A Few Hours Later....

It felt weird writing a letter to Olivia knowing that she won't get to read it, but it'll give me a chance to let out my emotions.

Here goes nothing.

Dear Olivia,

I haven't been able to go a day without you on my mind. I miss you. The girls miss you. I miss my wife, our marriage, and how we used to be. Where did we go wrong? I don't know the answer to that yet but I'm hoping we can have an answer soon. But above that, you're well-being matters the most to me, so while you're gone, I hope you're putting that first. Not worrying about the girls, or me, we are okay. I got them and you'll never have to worry about that Liv. Just focus on your recovery and making your way home. Home with me and the girls. Until then, I'll be waiting patiently for your return. I love you. More than you'll ever know and I realize my recent actions have shown the complete opposite, but I promise you that it's true. Get well, baby. Holding it down for you on this end.

Love, Spencer

Tears were falling from my face as I finished the letter and sealed it in an envelope. I'm glad I was able to let my emotions out when writing the letter because now I feel better than I did before. However, the only thing missing was Olivia, but time will go by fast.

Until we meet again my love.
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Olivia is at the halfway point of completing rehab. She is determined to do whatever it takes to be better for her family. Darla and Ralph Angel are giving Liv great advice when it comes to her recovery and not giving up hope for her and Spencer. Almost everyone has turned away from Spencer due to Olivia's relapse, and Alicia is the only one supporting him. Spencer decides to let his emotions out through the advice he received from Dr. Spears. Please excuse any mistakes or grammar errors. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

A/N: I want to give a special thanks to @NefieBolin for writing the letter. She deserves her flowers for this.

If this chapter gets at least 10 votes/100 views ASAP, I will post Ch.20 earlier than expected, you really don't want to miss it.