✏️ Professional Baby

5. The Essence of Determination

I woke up and smiled at Yana lying beside me. She was still asleep; she had been completely exhausted when we finally got to sleep, some time after three in the morning. But there could be no question that she was happy. I could have stayed and watched her sleep all day. Except, of course, that my phone was vibrating already. It needed to remind me that I had an appointment today, and it took me several seconds to realise, after reading the cryptic name I had assigned to the reminder, that I was supposed to be working today.

My first day at a real job. It was hard to believe, after so many failures. But so long as I tried today, and did what the photographers told me, I would be paid. Of course, whether they called me back for more sessions was dependent on how well I was able to follow their directions, and how much I could look like a woman. But that wasn't the important thing. They were sending me to a studio to take so many photos, and that meant they would have to pay me. Even if I wasn't as suitable as they had thought, that wouldn't be my fault. If I tried, they would pay me.

I rushed through getting dressed, and a part of me wasn't sure what to wear today. I'd left enough clothes at Yana's place over the last couple of years that I could choose basically whatever I wanted. I stayed here more often than at my own place, so this was where the majority of my clothes and toiletries were.

In the end, I went for casual and androgynous. If they wanted me to play a women for the camera, they surely wouldn't expect me to turn up in a suit. Cargo pants and a band t-shirt would be fine. The shirt was actually one of Yana's, but it fit me well enough, and I'd started to regard it almost as some kind of lucky shirt, after a few good things had happened when I first borrowed it.

I made a real effort with shaving today; I didn't want stubble to ruin the photo shoot. I shaved, and then spread some of Alma's favourite hair removal cream around my chin and neck. I didn't know if it would work, but I was quietly confident. It only had to deal with the first tiny sign of stubble coming up from beneath my skin, after all. The stuff was supposed to take twenty minutes to work, so I wrapped a towel around it and set about assembling breakfast. A hot pocket, a banana, and a mug of strong coffee would give me energy for the day ahead, I was sure.

By the time I'd finished eating, I was already wondering how women put up with this kind of stuff. Normally when I shaved, I would be done in five minutes. If I cut myself, I would put a tiny piece of tissue on it, and it would be healed by the time breakfast was done. But now I had to avoid touching my face at all, and I couldn't believe how many times I would have scratched or rubbed without even realising. I had a new respect for anyone who could use these hair removal creams on a regular basis.

Yana still wasn't awake. I'd really worn her out, and I could feel some pride in that. But on a more practical note, that meant that I didn't have any beautiful distractions as I showered again, washing all the cream away from my face. I scrubbed pretty hard when it was all gone, hoping to remove any ephemeral traces of chemical-treated hair, to ensure that they wouldn't be leaping up from beneath my skin to surprise me later in the day. This job meant more to me than anything I had ever thought about in the past, and I wasn't going to leave anything to chance.

My skin was incredibly smooth as I finally set off, leaving my still-sleeping girlfriend with a light kiss on her forehead. And then I was on the bus, hurrying to ensure that I would arrive at the "Old Spoon Factory" earlier than the time on the little card. An inner voice told me that I didn't need to be so obsessive about getting every little detail right, and that I had never paid so much attention to what a potential employer wanted in the past. But then, I knew that I had never before been so determined to get a job. This wasn't a game now; I had to be the person they wanted, or I would lose Alma. And that was a cost I really couldn't face.