32. You'd Never Know

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It was the end of December and Noah was leaving with the guys to do a weekend festival. I was going to miss him but I was counting down the hours until he left. I could party without worrying about him finding out or anyone else breathing down my neck. Shannon was going to be coming over tonight and told me she had some new things for me to try. It was all my brain could focus on. I invited her to stay the weekend with me until I drove up Sunday on New Year's Eve to see the show like I had promised Noah.

"Behave while I'm gone." He mentioned playfully and leaned down to kiss me.

"I always do." I teased and stood on my tip toes to kiss him back. "Text me when you guys get there safely,okay?"

He nodded and gently kissed me again. "I love you."

I melted like always. He could say it to me another thousand times and it would never get old to me.

"I love you too." I answered and watched as he grabbed his bags and left in his car to go meet with the guys.

As soon as he left, I texted Shannon, giving her the green light to come over. I paced full of angst until she arrived. The pills were no longer giving me a high and I was desperate for something stronger. She had scored some cocaine from her boyfriend and convinced me it would be a better high than ever. Part of me was disappointed with myself. I never thought  would ever find myself going down this path, but getting high to temporarily numb your emotional pain was a quick fix instead of doing all the work to try and get through it.

"Well? You gotta pay me girl. This shit ain't free." Shannon joked as she started laying out the lines perfectly, lining up the white powder with a razor. I bit my lip thinking to myself, bouncing my leg. I already owed her most of my next pay check, so I knew she wouldn't be willing to lend me anything else. My body was anxiously craving the magic powder that was practically glistening right in front of me and I felt like I wanted to explode with raging withdrawal.

"Hold on." I said as I thought to myself and I went to our room, making a beeline for Noah's bureau. I opened the top drawer and scrambled through this clothes until I found it. He always kept an envelope full of cash for emergencies. I helped myself to a few of the bills with all intention on paying him back. Right now, I just really needed something because I couldn't handle being dope sick. I was already feeling my muscles began to ache and my sinuses felt pressured as my nose and forehead throbbed.

I came back and tossed some of the money in front of Shannon who had just finished sorting a line. She grinned seeing the money then waved me over, moving to the side so she could share with me. I leaned down and snorted the snowy medicine, instant gratification rushing over me. My eyes rolled into the back of my mind as I basked in the euphoria. In just a few moments, the aches and pains were fading and I was slowly feeling like a human being again opposed to a walking zombie. I was looking forward to doing whatever we wanted this weekend and getting obliterated without anyone knowing.
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In just a blink, Sunday rolled around and it was finally the day I was supposed to come meet Noah. It was New Year's Eve and he said he wanted me to come up and spend it with everyone. Noah was similar to me when it came to being nonchalant about holidays that everyone else was excited for. But, he still was sentimental in the way that he still wanted me to be the one by his side during the first few moments of the new year.

I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes and almost instantly tasted blood in my mouth. I realized I was lying on the cold, hard kitchen floor. I couldn't remember anything from the night before nor any of the events that happened this entire weekend. All I did know, was Shannon and I had gone on a binge of alcohol and coke the last few nights and the house was completely ransacked.

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