Unconditional!

23. Overwhelmed

Meraki Hera Williams POV

"Hera, wait! We need to talk. Please." I freeze hearing Kamilah's voice as I start heading towards my room.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I clench my hands into fists at my sides. I wanted...I needed time. But unfortunately, we don't have that luxury.

I nod. "We can talk. Let me just...I am going to the washroom." I say before heading straight to the washroom. I release a breath as I close the door before slumping against it and sliding down to the tiles floor.

I can't deal with all this. It's too much. I still have a hard time believing all this is real. It's too much, too fast. I need time!

I bury my face in my hands as my brain flashes with everything that has happened in the last month...too much. I don't know why I am feeling so overwhelmed, I have been good with change in my life. Then why is this hitting harder than anything...everything else!?

I take a deep breath as I push myself up to stand on my feet before walking up to the sink and washing my face.

"I can do this..." I whisper as I look at myself in the mirror while my hands have a death grip on the sink. I can do this and can handle everything or anything else that life throws at me. I am not weak.

Taking a last deep breath, I walk out of the washroom to find Kamilah sitting in the living room while the other two are missing. I suppose it is best if we are alone...

"Kamilah..." I whisper making her turn her head to look at me with a small smile making me unconsciously return her smile.

"Sit. I...we need to talk about a lot of things..." She says with a grim expression while I give her a nod.

"True but before that are you okay?" I ask as I sit beside her on the couch. A smile graces her face before she hesitantly lays her hand over my thigh and gives it a soft squeeze.

"I am worried and scared but still. Overall? I am okay." She replies with a grim smile making me nod.

"Good."

"I don't know where to start...where do you want me to start?" She mumbles to herself before asking me her question. I have to be honest, the nervousness in her eyes throws me off for a few seconds but I soon regain my composure.

"Scarlet told me some things but I want to know your side and your story. Before you say anything, I just want to say that I understand why you did what you did but it doesn't make it right. You should have told me. Did you think I wouldn't understand and get angry when you had no control over the situation you were in? Don't you think I would have understood that it was all Erebus's fault, not yours?" I ask feeling as confused and hurt as I had been since that nightmare or vision or...whatever.

She shakes her head as her grip on my thigh tightens. "No. That's not true. I was just...scared and stupid. You would think a person who has been alive for so long wouldn't make such stupid mistakes, huh? But to be honest, I think they are the ones who make the most stupid mistakes. I had been waiting for my mate for so long and I got scared. When I first met you, I couldn't believe that I had found my mate. My initial thought was that you were sent by the organization to hurt me or something. They were using some magic to make me feel like you were my mate, hence I avoided you. In hindsight, that was very stupid but I was scared. Still am, I suppose being me means being able to make good decisions when it comes to huge choices in life but messing up the smallest ones in life. At one point they start to feel insignificant and when you don't have anyone to show their significance, you stop caring about them altogether. But meeting you made me realize how much of an idiot I was...am, every moment I have spent with you has been amazing, and every small choice I made? Significant. Rewarding me with more precious moments with you. I love you, Hera. I have made mistakes but I hope you will forgive me. I make another promise to you today, to never lie to you and always tell the truth."