"Wait, how do you even know about that? The virus was announced literally 2 hours ago. We all fled to Y/N's home because we're all homeless." Pearl said suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at the tall man.
"Well, you see, I was there when the virus was released. I originally was in a fanfic written by someone named ZioBio in 2021, but recently, they found out how to bring me into real life." Gojo explained. "So~, thats kinda why I know some things about this virus."
The group was silent, all of them staring up at Gojo. BBL drake's fist tightened around the foam handle of his diamond sword, his dirt brown orbs intensifiying.
"How did you get in here? The doors were locked and we made sure to barricade them with Nikacado's monster buttplugs, too." BBL drake questioned.
"I just used my Gojo powers. Me not being from this strange world gave me some...unexplainable powers. I can teleport now, and make anyone have ohio skibidi rizz."
Y/N blinked, slowly walking away from the group. They were too busy talking to Gojo and stuffing their face (Diamond) to notice. Y/N grabbed their pink bedazzled hand gun, which had some crusty printed out AI beowulf picture on it. Y/N walked out of their room, silently closing the door behind them. They went through the hall, turning and going down the stairs.
"Help! Faust, this bitch has a chair!! Help!" Ruby hollered, running away from Beowulf.
"What the fuck? Don't you have a gun? Use it from afar or something." Faust sighed.
Faust then saw Professor Oak in a wheelchair, slowly wheeling down the street with a calm, peaceful look on his face. It appeared that Professor Oak hadn't had much time to himself due to constantly being jumped by 11 year olds and shit on by birds. Faust, however, didn't give a shit about the old man's peace. The freakishly tall man made a mad dash on all fours to Professor Oak, ripping the wheelchair out from underneath him and throwing it at Beowulf, causing the hairy hobo to yell out in pain. Ruby would then immediately spin back, shooting Beowulf in his leg multiple times.
"Take that, you dog piss smelling vagabond." Ruby frowned.
Nikacado roared at the sight of his teammate being hit with Professor Oak's piss stained wheelchair and then being shot, his hands going up and angrily tearing off his red greasy sweaty shirt in a show of dominance. Faust's blood ran cold, as he felt Nikacado's water weight barreling on him, nearly snapping every bone in his frail body. Faust attempted to inject Nikacado with his syringe weiner juice, only for his syringe weiner to fly off, nearly hitting Ruby. Ruby screamed, flinching and dodging the projectile as if he was in the matrix. Nikacado kneeled, preparing to charge towards Ruby as std energy surrounded his body. Nikacado dashed towards the teenage boy, Ruby's heart dropping in fear.
Then...
Bang!
Nikacado came to a halt, his now red eyes widening in pain and shock, his face twisting into one of confusion. Slowly, he fell over, hitting the ground. Ruby's eyes moved down to the now dead Nikacado, before slowly moving up to see..Y/N, holding a smoking, pink gun. Y/N was breathing heavily for whatever reason, rabies, maybe? They then would put the gun in their pocket.
"You guys okay?" Y/N asked.
Ruby was speechless, only giving a nod before remembering that Faust got basically crushed.
"Faust!" Ruby exclaimed, running over to the Dark Wandering Doctor.
"I'm fine," Faust coughed out, injecting himself with his own weiner juice. "It's...just a scratch."
"Dumbass, you look like a cockroach after being stepped on. It's not just a scratch." Ruby said bluntly.
Faust's paper bag turned down a bit, signifying that Faust took offense to that. Faust got up, brushing some booty dust he got from Professor Oak's wheelchair off of him, then going and grabbing his comically large scalpel that he had wrapped in floral wallpaper for some reason. Faust looked over to Y/N, giving a small nod.
"Thank you. Ignore Ruby, he's just mad he looks like a cockroach after being stepped on all the time." Faust said with a tone of sass, putting his creepily long hands on his hips.
"I do not!" Ruby pouted.
As Y/N went to speak, the front door to their house, if you could even call it a house, burst open. There stood Pearl, Gojo, BBL drake, and Diamond, who was still eating his spaghetti. Pearl was the first to run out, his features contorting in worry. Pearl shook you a bit, looking to see if you had any wounds.
"Are you okay?! I know you're like, 2'6 and weigh as much as a feather, so I'm really worried! But your um...interesting stench may have killed these people instantly." Pearl said, looking at Beowulf and Nikacado's dead bodies.
"Worry about that ugly ass cresent moon haircut of yours, bitch." BBL drake frowned. "Y/N is obviously fine. They know how to handle a gun almost as well as Diamond knows how to handle a fork."
"What the fuck did I even do to your ass???" Diamond huffed, swallowing the last bite of spaghetti.
Faust watched as the strange group of people bickered, Ruby right behind him cleaning himself up from the battle. Ruby's eyebrows furrowed, annoyed by how often he had to fight and get dirty if he didn't want to get infected by the badussy virus. Faust turned to Ruby, handing him yet another bottle of hand sanitizer.
"Thanks," Ruby sighed. "I really don't like fighting, as you know, but I have to, so I'm able to find..."
Ruby was suddenly cut off by a shriek, his fist tightening around his gun, prepared to fight.
"Is that Faust?!" a loud, excited voice broke through the air, causing everyone to pull out their skibidi ohio grimace shake weapons.
Faust jumped, looking towards the voice. Instantly, he knew who it was. His most determined and devoted fan, and perhaps the most insane one...
Ralph77.
END
authors note: why am i fr getting invested in this??😭😭😭
