New Girl in Town

Chapter 20

I finally tilt over on my side, facing away from her, desperate for the pull of sleep. But it's not going to work—she's too close. There's no way I'm ever sleeping, in her sheets, in her room, wrapped up in the citrus-flower smell of her, the heat of her body just inches away.

I turn once more. This time to face her. In the dark, I can barely make out the shadow of her form, let alone her face, but it doesn't matter.

I think I could summon the image of her even if I go twenty years without laying eyes on her. I think that someday, when I have gray hair and lines around my eyes, I'll be able to close them and see her perfectly, seventeen and smiling only for me.

Maybe I'll doze off if I count my breathing. They do that in meditation, I think, but I don't really know how to do that.

This is normal, I tell myself. Girls have sleepovers. They share beds. It's normal. It doesn't mean anything.

Her hands lingered. There was no other word for it. When she was spreading the medicine up my back, they lingered on my skin. I know, because mine did the same on hers.

"Mmph."

I stiffen at the sudden noise. The mattress shifts, and I slide a little toward the middle as she moves. Her arm flops, curling against my side. Such a simple touch, but it spreads warmth everywhere. Little sparks travel to parts of my body I've never been aware of before as her fingers curve into the soft skin of my stomach.

Is she awake? She can't be. She wouldn't....

Would she?

"Jennie," I whisper.

She doesn't answer.

I shift, but instead of her hand sliding off me, it causes her to cuddle up, closing the few inches between us.

Our bodies click together like puzzle pieces. She curves around me like she's a crescent moon and I'm the hidden half, something to be sheltered and cherished. I sigh into it—into her—the long line of heat sizzling up me. I want so much, so swiftly, it whips the breath out of my lungs.

"Jennie," I try again. I have to. I can't—I'm going to combust like this. Her hand splays across my stomach, her fingers brushing against the elastic of my shorts. I freeze, unable to move, unwilling to pull away. I can feel her hips pressed against me, where her shirt rides up and it's just skin—so much skin and so much warmth that I should be sweating, but I'm not. I'm falling into the burn of it instead, my breath finally back, and almost panting.

"Mmm," she sighs, her head dropping into the crook of my neck. The press of her lips can't be purposeful, because they flutter in a snoozy breath under my ear, but she lets out another sigh and her body relaxes, her arm tight around me.

I close my eyes, trying to calm the blood rushing to my head and ... other parts of me. I feel like a bomb about to go off, and I suck in air, screwing my eyes shut and trying to focus. One. Two. Three. Four. Breathe out. One. Two. Three. Four. Breathe in.

I lose track of how many times I do it. I don't try to shift underneath Jennie's grip. I give myself over to it, memorizing the feel of her fingers against me, the press of her breasts against my back. She is so sweet, in so many ways. I didn't realize someone so sharp could be that sweet. I don't even know if she knows she's like this, melting sweet and finally free, if maybe this is only something you can see in sleep. Maybe I'm the first person to ever see it. Does she sleep next to Kai, I wonder?

As soon as the thought hits me, I stiffen and she makes a noise, her grip tightening and her leg sliding between both of mine.

I keep breathing—amazingly, it's probably the most monumental achievement of my life—and keep my eyes closed.